Inspired

On Saturday I had the day all to myself. Let me repeat. All to myself. LB and I had returned from Tulsa a few days prior and I think D recognized how nice it was to have a few days to himself. So he suggested (all by himself with no prodding) that he take LB to see his parents for the day and I stay back and do whatever. Yes. Please. I got my first pedicure of the season, I strolled through the aisles of Whole Foods and I went to my favorite cafe and ordered my favorite dark chocolate truffle cookie and I read my new favorite book. I felt spoiled. So this book. Let's talk about it. I loved it. I loved it in the way I've loved anything written by Anne Lamott. And that's saying a lot. I finished the book in 2 days. I kind of want to read it again already. I recently discovered the author's blog, Momastery. I think it's wonderful. It's not for everyone but it's for me. She speaks to me. I think what makes her great is that even though our lives have followed a very different path, she's a recovering alcoholic and bulimic and has 3 biological children, her writing is still very relatable. Of course, she is also relatable because we are both middle class white women who were raised by two amazing people. I forget sometimes the role that can play. But, we've all struggled in our lives, right? We've had moments when we couldn't bear to get out of bed. Literally.

Her book has inspired me to write more. I am not sure what I have to say or what I feel comfortable putting out there on the internet but I want to write more. Some days maybe it will just be about fun crafts I did with LB or silly things he has said. Or maybe I'll share about some of my struggles with anxiety or my ongoing healing process from infertility or other things I feel passionate about. Like Glennon, I know I always feel better when I open up to someone and pave the way for them to open up as well. I've read some articles and chatted with friends too about how social media outlets like Facebook and Instagram make it seem like we all live these perfect lives. And if we start comparing our lives to what others share on Facebook or Instagram then our lives always seem less fun or harder or lonelier than everyone else's. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing photos of my friends' kids or reading articles that others have shared but if we want others to be real then we have to take that leap of faith and be real too. No one's life is perfect but so often we feel the need to portray that it is. Some of the best conversations I've had with friends have been when we've let go of all that crap and just talked about the struggles. Sometimes that's hard for me. But I like to listen and I like to share. I believe in the power of extending grace to another person and remembering to extend it to myself as well. Maybe this space can be a place for me to do that. Listen and Share. Live and Learn. Maybe no one is out there, except my mom and my sister. (Hi Mom and Abs.) But that's okay. I need to write for me. Anne Lamott said, "Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are."

I hope I can work towards finding the dark chocolate truffle cookie moments amidst the struggles and hopefully be there for someone else as they search for their own beauty and truth. Or at least offer to share my cookie with them. And as Glennon says, "Love wins." I believe that to be true.
Namaste.