August 15th - Family Day

The second time around we arrived in Addis in the evening on Saturday the 14th. Travis, one of the Gladney in-country employees, and Henock met us at the airport. We were so happy to see Henock's smiling face again! This was our first time to meet Travis as he was back in the states with his family when we were there for the first trip. Travis let us know that he would bring our guy over to the guest house the next morning for placement. We were less than 24 hours away from officially starting our life as a family of three! If you can believe it we did manage to get some sleep that night and even slept in a bit! I am not sure if that is because we had met LB before and/or our bodies knew that we wouldn't get the chance to sleep through the night again for a while or what. But I was happy we slept. It is hard to explain how crazy it was to be sitting in the living room at the guest house, chatting with the other families and knowing that at any moment Travis would be driving through the gate and parenthood would begin.

Here is that moment.

My heart just ached for him because you could tell he was so unsure. He whimpered a lot and he just had such a scared look in his eyes. He was in a new place with new people and I just wanted to be able to tell him it would be okay. Travis assured us that his reaction was normal and that it was good he was crying it out initially. I would say all throughout the first day he would go in and out of being okay and being scared. It was tough not knowing what each cry meant. Was he hungry, sleepy, gassy or just plain scared. The first night was especially hard because you could tell when he woke up that he had no clue where he was and that he was afraid. His eyes just darted all over the place looking for something familiar and there was nothing. All we could do was hold him until he got too tired to cry anymore. It was gut wrenching. I think D and I were both relieved when morning came and each night after that got easier. These days when I peek over his crib after a nap he will flash me his heart melting smile and stretch his arms up towards me. Progress is a wonderful thing!

We will always celebrate August 15th as our Family Day, the day our son was placed in our arms forever!

Two Trips

It is still crazy to me that we are home and that there is an actual baby living in our house. There were days when I questioned whether that would ever happen. So far I think things are going relatively well. LB is still a bit jet lagged and we have to limit his naps during the day or else he won't want to sleep much at night. We went to the doctor on Monday because I thought he was having serious breathing problems from his respiratory infection and was told he just "has a cold" and actually "doesn't sound that bad." Oh. First time mama syndrome I guess. He is eating like a champ and loves to play in the exersaucer! We haven't really settled into a routine yet but I am sure that will come with time. For now, I am just focusing on enjoying his smile and making sure his needs are met.

As one of the first Gladney families to complete the two trip process, I thought it might be helpful to waiting families if I spent some time reflecting on the experience and what I thought we did and didn't do well. My perspective is obviously one of not having any other children at home, which I am sure increases the burden. Shockingly (insert sarcastic tone), my feelings about the two trips are quite different than my initial reaction. Are you ready for this? I am actually glad we had to go twice. Of course, the added expense blows and saying goodbye to him was hard but for me the pros outweighed the cons. Ideally, we could have just stayed in between the trips since our turnaround time was so short but we both had commitments here at home. I think since we were so busy during the two weeks we were home that it made waiting to go back much easier.

For me, the greatest thing about the first trip was the ability to really explore and see Addis. On the second trip I wanted to just be with LB and was nervous about leaving him with a caregiver. I knew I would be that way and actually had anxiety about that pre-referral and before the process changed. I had read about all the cultural activities that Gladney had planned, which was great, but worried how I would handle leaving him after just meeting him. Deep down I knew it was the right thing so I would be able to see his country and experience the culture but I still worried about it. The two trips alleviated all of that. The first trip was a true gift. We spent a whole day outside of Addis in the countryside, shopped like crazy, went out to eat, bought art, toured two churches and so much more. Most importantly, we developed a love and respect for our son's homeland that we can share with him in the future. As expected, on the second trip we spent most of our time at the guest house just chilling with LB, the other families and the Bejoe staff. There were some group outings and we did hire a caregiver one afternoon so we could run some errands but I didn't feel guilty about hunkering down because we did so much the first time around.

We booked almost the exact same flight path the second time around and for me that lessened the anxiety of traveling with him because we knew the Frankfurt and Chicago airports pretty well. We figured out on the first trip that we would need more time when we first landed in the US to go through customs and immigration because we had to book it to our gate the first time and barely made our flight. I would suggest 3.5 hours at a minimum for your layover if you have to change planes and make a domestic flight. Since all families will now meet their child/children before court the VISA is different and they come home on an IR-3 VISA, which means your child will become a US citizen when you go through immigration in the US. Another good perk in my opinion. We thought we needed to go through the immigrant/VISA holder line when landing in Chicago but actually it doesn't matter and you can go through the US Passport side. It seemed in Chicago the US Passport holder line was much faster so I would recommend that. After you get your bags then they will send you over to another area where all the paperwork gets processed and your child becomes a citizen! LB slept through the whole thing. I had visions of taking a picture of him holding an American flag but I forgot my little flag and they don't let you take pictures in that area. oh well. It was pretty anti-climatic. But it does take a little time so it's important to factor that into your return travel plans.

Okay, more advice to come later. I'll leave you with the smile that brightens my day.

We're home!

And this is what the Little Buster thinks about it!

My Fortune

D and I got take-out Chinese food the other night and this was my fortune.

Are you shocked that I cried when I read it? Probably not. He truly is a dream come true and I can't wait to be his mom.

We are packed and ready to go. Our flight leaves Columbus tomorrow at 1pm and we are flying Lufthansa again. It is basically the same route we took on the first trip so we'll know what we are doing. The plan is that we will arrive in Addis on Saturday night and go straight to the Bejoe Guest House to hopefully sleep. He will be placed in our arms FOREVER on Sunday and then we start our life together as a family of three.

Since we were able to do a lot of exploring on the first trip we don't have plans to do much except hang out with him this trip. There will be a coffee ceremony at the Gladney Foster Home on Wednesday and his special caregivers will get a chance to say goodbye. We got to meet one of them when we were there for our visitations and she is such a sweet lady. When we told her (more like pantomimed) that we were coming back in 2 weeks, I could tell that was bittersweet news for her. I am preparing myself for an emotional day. Our Embassy appointment is on Thursday. We leave Addis on Friday and will be HOME on Saturday the 21st. I am very nervous about how the flight home is going to work. I just need to keep reminding myself that it will be temporary and we just need to survive it. I am crossing my fingers he will be a good little traveler. Since he fell asleep in D's arms during two of our three visitations then perhaps D's comfy arms will come in handy on the flight. I can't wait to finally be back here at our house with him.

Obviously, I didn't get the chance to post as much as I would have liked about our first trip so here are some other photos from our trip. Enjoy!

To be continued: Busters in Addis Part 2.

Court Day Revisited

I can't believe we leave again in three days. Unreal. To say that our life has been crazy the past week would be a severe understatement. I am not complaining about our short turnaround because I know we are lucky and I can't wait to have our boy placed in our arms forever. However, we have been cramming so much stuff into two weeks that I feel like my head is spinning. Oh yeah, and I am still trying to process our first experience in Ethiopia and everything that I saw AND the fact that in a few days I will be a mom. You know, responsible for another human being. It's a lot.

Back to Trip 1. Our court date was scheduled for Wednesday, July 28th. I really wasn't feeling too nervous for the court appearance in the days leading up to it. All of the other families at our guest house told us it was no problem and not to sweat it. I did a pretty good job of that until late in the afternoon on Tuesday. Our driver, Henock, also assured us that we would be fine. (Henock deserves a post of his own. Best guy ever!) I have no idea why I got so nervous but I did. I fell into my bad habits of going through the "what ifs" in my mind. What if I get sick in the morning? What if something strange comes up with our paperwork? You know the drill. I seriously struggled that night to sleep. I just wanted everything to be final and to be able to legally call him my son. I wanted to be a mom so badly! I just think for me it was the culmination of years of trying to reach that point and I feared at the end stage someone was going to come and snatch it away from me. I think around 4am I was able to get in a few hours of sleep.

Henock picked us up around 8:30am to take us to the Gladney office to meet up with the two other families that had court the same morning. I opened the car door and Henock had these suit coats in the front seat. He handed one to me and told me that I would need to wear it at court. I was so confused and looked at him for further explanation. Then Henock started laughing his big belly laugh and I knew I had been duped. God Bless Henock! He made me laugh when I needed it the most. D started laughing at me and it relaxed us for the rest of the morning. Now I cry thinking about it because it was so sweet of him and is just the perfect representation of Henock's personality. I am crossing my fingers he is our driver for trip 2. Or as Henock called it, "Busters in Addis - part 2." We met the other families and hung out in a conference room at Gladney until the attorney came in and told us the most commonly asked questions. All of us drove over to the court house and were lead to waiting area. There were tons of other adoptive families from other agencies there as well. We waited about 45 minutes and were the last of the 3 Gladney families to get called. The judge was very nice and soft spoken. It was pretty clear that the main objective was for her to confirm that we met the child and that we understood the adoption was final. When we said yes to those answers she said, "He's all yours." That was it. We were parents. All of the paperwork, fingerprinting and waiting had finally come to the conclusion we had longed for. He was our son. The mood in the waiting room was very subdued so we waited to congratulate each other until we had left the room and were leaving the court house. I was glad we were there with other Gladney families to share in that moment. It helped to have them to talk to while we all waited for our turn. I was just relieved for it all to be over.

Before we left for Ethiopia, I had started a collection of some of my favorite photos that we received from traveling families and our agency. I meant to post the slideshow of photos when we passed court but the internet collection was too slow. Here it is. Enjoy!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Meeting our Son

I have been trying to figure out the best way to document our first trip to Ethiopia but since we will be going back in two weeks I decided there was no time to ponder and I just need to write. Yes, we are going back in 2 weeks! Our Embassy Date is August 19th so our flights are booked and we leave Columbus on August 13th and will return as a family of three on August 21st! Hopefully I can find time to blog about trip 1 before we leave for trip 2. So here we go the with biggest highlight of trip 1.

Meeting our Son.

We arrived in Ethiopia on Saturday night but our first visitation was scheduled for Monday morning. D and I both woke up around midnight on Sunday night and were up for hours. I think the combination of jet lag and anticipation really did us in. Sleep was just not going to happen. We got to the Gladney Foster Homes around 9:30am and I recognized the homes from other Gladney blogs. It was hard to believe that it was finally our turn to be there. We walked through the gate and then followed Genet up the stairs to the second floor. I remember turning the corner, walking into his room and hearing Genet say, "there he is." He was just hanging out on the carpet with some other babies in all of his cuteness. I approached him and remember wondering if it would scare him if I picked him up right away. So I just talked to him and tickled him a bit. Then Genet urged me to go ahead and pick him up. I think D did a nice job capturing the moment.

He was definitely a little unsure. I love the last picture where he is checking me out. Everyone always described him to us as super observant and that he always has an expectant look on his face and that is totally true. I realized I couldn't hold him forever and I wanted D to have some time as well so here were some of D's first moments holding his son.

He was definitely a little more interested in D but that is typical. Kids always like D more than me for some reason. Maybe it is his warm smile. I'm not sure why. We took turns passing him back and forth and for the most part he kept an eye on his special caregiver. He did start to make some nice eye contact with us towards the end of the visit. Around 11am he couldn't stay awake any longer.

It was pretty cute how he instantaneously fell asleep. I had surprised myself and didn't cry the entire first meeting but observing this tender moment between father and son pushed me over the edge. My eyes welled up and I just couldn't believe we were there and he was sleeping in D's arms. I picked him up and he barely stirred and I put him in his crib. We sat there and watched him for a bit and then left for the day.

He is pure cuteness and I think D and I were both probably beaming the entire rest of the day. We just kept talking about him and remembering little things that he did.

Monday, July 26th. The day we first met our baby Buster.

Family of Three