Don't Stop Believin'

This is my first blog post from Tulsa! I have been a bit unplugged the past 10 days or so as I've been trying to spend as much time as possible with my family. Today is our last day in town and then we head to Kansas City to see my aunt, uncle and cousins for a day and then make the long drive back to Ohio. We just barely made it into town on the 24th as a snow storm descended on Oklahoma. Soon after we arrived on the 24th my mother asked me to complete the final piece of the advent calendar. That may not seem all that significant, however, this year it had a special meaning. My mom has had this advent calendar for probably close to 15 years and each day of advent you take one of the little girls from around the world and place her in the proper day. We used to save the little American girl and the Japanese girl for the very end. You can read HERE as to why the Japanese girl held significance. Since the little girls are to represent children from around the globe there are of course a few girls from Africa. I am a little suprised that my mom never looked them all up to see all the countries but this year she was inspired. Can you see where this is going? A few days before we came to Tulsa, I got a text from my mom with the exclamation, "One of the advent girls is from Ethiopia!!" It took a moment to register but then I realized what she meant. How cool is that?! Every December for fifteen years we have brought out this calendar and counted down the days to Christmas with the little girls from around the world and all that time a little girl from Ethiopia was with us. I actually find it very comforting. Here are a few photos. Please note that I had been in the car for 12 hours so I am not looking super fresh.

Another one of "those moments" happened with one of the Christmas gifts we got for my mom. Damon and I were really trying to find several gifts this year that would be meaningful to the person receiving it but also serve as a double gift by benefitting a charity. We were looking through some of the items on the AHOPE website and found a necklace that was perfect for her. My mom is majorly into scrabble and is very good. I think Damon considers it one of his life goals to beat her just once. Well, this particular necklace had an image of Africa on a scrabble tile! We ordered it and when it came I looked at it and flipped it over and saw that it was on a "G" scrabble tile. Hello, G is for Grandma! When my mom opened it and saw the image of Africa on a scrabble tile she burst into tears. Then she flipped it over and said, "you got me G for Grandma." I explained that it just came that way and we weren't given the option to pick the specific letter for the tile. I think we all just paused and let it sink in and looked at each other. Life is pretty cool when you just let it wash over you and realize that even though it can be scary to know how much is out of your control it can also be pretty amazing. I am so grateful for that realization.

I have mentioned before that we watch a lot of "Friends" in my family and can pretty much recite dialogue from most of the episodes. As usual, we have watched a lot of Friends since I have been home but last night we watched a few episodes of my sister's and my new favorite show from 2009 - GLEE. I have always been a sucker for shows like Glee. Anything that combines high school angst with music is golden in my book. Today I went out and bought both of the soundtracks. I have decided that the chorus from one of the songs from the pilot is going to be my mantra for 2010. I am really going to need a mantra in 2010 and this song brings a smile to my face and encourages me to just keep going and to never stop believing that anything is possible. ENJOY!

Happy New Year! May your 2010 be filled with peace and happiness. AND.....

Don't Stop Believing!!

Part 2: Baby Gear

As I mentioned a few posts ago, Damon found a deal online that we could not resist. We knew that we wanted a stroller that would be a good jogger but also work for everyday outings. The ones we really coveted were super expensive and we didn't want to pay full price. About a month ago Damon started scouring Ebay and Craig's List for used strollers that were still in good condition. We weren't in any rush but we figured if a good deal came along we would take it. Last Sunday Damon was on Cleveland 's Craig's List and found a BOBs Sport Utility Stroller that appeared to be in great condition and was listed for about 60% less than a new one. Yes, I did just say a BOBs stroller!! He emailed the lady with a few questions and determined this was OUR stroller. On Friday we made the two hour drive to Cleveland and the stroller did not disappoint. Here it is!!

The stroller really is in great condition. The woman told us that it had never been soiled on, thrown up in, etc. I suppose an experienced mom would have thought to ask those questions ahead of time but I hadn't even considered that. Clearly, I am in for a rude awakening.

One feature that was important to me was that the stroller would be easy to fold and put in the trunk. Damon took the next three photos to show how simple it is.

That's it. Even I can handle it. The stroller looks heavy and bulky but it is actually really light and easy to manage. There are even cup holders and a little pouch for a cell phone. The woman who sold it to us was incredibly nice. She asked if the stroller was for our first child and I told her we were adopting from Ethiopia. Her reaction was very positive and then her 5 year old daughter piped up that she knew where Ethiopia was! Her mom pulled out a map and the little girl correctly pointed to Ethiopia. Then she showed us a book she made at school that day about Christmas traditions in other countries. She flipped to a page that said, "In Ethiopia children celebrate Christmas on January 7th." It was so sweet how excited she was to show us. She probably had about five countries in the book so it was cool that Ethiopia happened to be one of them. The woman asked us if we had an umbrella stroller and we told her no. She had one she wasn't using and gave it to us for free! So we left Cleveland with two strollers in our trunk and with warm fuzzy feelings from the kindness of strangers.

I can't resist one final photo of the stroller and my current baby.

4 months!

Today marks our 4 month anniversary on the waitlist! Right now our agency wait times are averaging around 7 months so we are getting closer. It is so satisfying to watch our name move up the list. The list is unofficial so it doesn't account for everyone but it helps to see where you are in the grand scheme of things. I check that list more than I care to admit! I have decided that it is a blessing to be in the middle of the wait during the holidays because it feels like the time is moving really fast. Everything is always so hectic and busy this time of year that the past month went by quickly. The flip side is that when you want kids and don't have them the holidays can be challenging. However, this year knowing that parenthood is approaching I think I have a healthier perspective than in years past.

Last week my good friend, Leah, asked me to do a guest post on her blog about why we chose Ethiopia. I was incredibly honored. If you read my blog then you've heard some of the stories already but HERE is the link to my guest post. She is going to have a series of several guest bloggers and I'm eager to read the others. Leah and her husband are also in the process of adopting and she has become a major part of my support system. We met through blogging and shared experiences and I really hope that we will someday be able to meet in person. What joy there will be when we both have our little ones home!

Did I mention that we have been on the waitlist for FOUR months? Heck yeah!!

Part 1: A Few Firsts

I have been dreaming for a long time about finally turning our third bedroom into the nursery for our little one. Ever since we moved into our house the third bedroom has been the junk room, ironing room (can it be an ironing room if I iron three times a year?) and the room for my elliptical machine. When we went on the waitlist we decided it was time to slowly start clearing out the room. However, Damon doesn’t really do anything slowly and when he makes up his mind to do something he pretty much goes full speed ahead. What I am saying is that I came home one day and he had pretty much emptied the room in a matter of a few hours. There went the doing it slowly over time. But it has been a tough balance to try and figure out what to do about planning the nursery. With a pregnancy the couple has a clear due date however with adoption there are so many unknowns. A lot of people recommend holding off on the nursery until after receiving the referral. I think one of the ideas behind it is that it can be sad to continuously walk by the nursery and see an empty crib when you aren't sure when that crib will be filled. Also, I think the agencies suggest having as many distractions as possible during the time in between having your referral and waiting for the court date. I obviously don’t know what that is like on a personal level. However, I know from reading other blogs and from talking to my friends here in town that the post-referral/pre-travel stage of waiting is by far the hardest. So we are trying to heed that advice and not get too wrapped up in preparing the third bedroom quite yet. We are taking the approach that if we find a good deal on something we are going to go for it. Who can turn down a good deal?

Confession: We have a crib and it is assembled. I know I am not supposed to but my mom found it on sale at Pottery Barn Kids and she got it for us. I had thought it would get delivered and we would just let the boxes hang out upstairs. I am not sure who I thought I was married to when I had that fleeting thought. Once again, I came home and the boxes were in the garage ready to be recycled and the crib was totally assembled. He just cannot help himself. Other than that, I promise the nursery still has a long ways to go.

We have received a few firsts that I want to document for the little Buster.

First Stuffed Animal: My friend, Nancy, gave this to us. She literally brought it over to us the day after we told her we were adopting!

First Books: I think you can guess a certain librarian (aka Mom) that sent us these. I am glad that I have already started a collection of books, especially books that have African themes and characters.

First Handmade Blanket: Nancy's mother made us this. I was so touched. It is very soft and I love all the colors.

First Nursery Decoration: This is from Land of Nod but is designed by Zid Zid kids. I fell in love with it a while ago and was nervous it would get discontinued so I went ahead and ordered it. I love most of the stuff at Land of Nod and the bonus is that they have a lot of eco-friendly products. You can also get the stuffed animals that are in the quilt directly from Zid Zid kids. Too cute. I will have to keep myself from going overboard.

Obviously, at the core of all of this is we are excited. It is hard to hold off on getting this stuff ready because we are so ready for him/her to be here!!

To be continued. Part 2: We are taking a little road trip to Cleveland on Friday because Damon is super gifted at finding good deals online.

Looking WAY Back

I have noticed that almost every year when I am home for Christmas I end up in my dad’s study looking through the photo albums from when my sister and I were little kids. I am really grateful that my parents took so many pictures because a lot of my childhood memories stem from looking at those photos. Now that everything is digital I find that Damon and I have most of our photos online and the majority of them are not printed and organized into albums. I am making a promise right now, on the internet for all to read, that when the little Buster is here I will print out photos and organize them into albums. Okay, I am glad that is out there so that I will be held accountable! Last year at Christmas Damon and I were still several months away from making the final decision to adopt but it was definitely on our hearts and minds. I remember pausing at a few photos from when I was four to five years old and thinking about their significance. Like most kids, I latched on to a few things and was fairly obsessed. I know that I went through a stage when I had to wear dresses. I actually have a memory of being on Columbia’s campus with my dad and he was pointing out all the “cool college girls” who were wearing pants. I wanted nothing of it, which is odd to me because now I would rather be in jeans and a t-shirt over a dress any day. I would say that the dress obsession overlapped another very important obsession. I LOVED the movie Annie. I am not even sure the word obsessed does it justice. I knew every single song and owned all sorts of Annie gear. I remember my Grandma Virginia took me to see an outdoor production of Annie and I loved every minute of it. I get that most girls my age at the time were also obsessed with Annie. I get it. But it just pleases me that at the age of four and five I had such a huge heart for orphan Annie. Some people would call that a coincidence but I believe it was just the beginning. It was the beginning of this adoption path.

I thought I would endure the embarrassment to share a few photos of the obsession with you.

I think I was Annie for two Halloweens in a row. My mom recently apologized for turning me into Annie with the measles instead of Annie with freckles.

Please note the Annie nightgown. How cute is my little sister?!

Maggie and I in our matching Annie dresses. I would like my mom to explain the state of my bangs in this photo. Wow.

Happy Birthday, Grandma Edie!

Happy Birthday, Grandma Edie! My dad left for Florida on Saturday to go celebrate my Grandma's birthday and I WISH I could be there too. I was lucky enough to go last year and it was quite the party. I never knew my biological grandfather on my dad's side and always considered my dad's step-dad to be my grandpa. Actually, he was my "Pa John" and he was the kindest man. He had three kids so if you add that to my grandma's three sons then it was quite the clan. Last year people kept referring to the six kids as the Brady Bunch. My grandma is a role model to so many of us. She is incredibly generous and often insists that for her birthday and Christmas not to give her any gifts but to donate to charity instead. I remember one Christmas, instead of giving us gifts she sent my parents money with the instructions to buy something for a family in need. Like I said, she is a great role model. My grandmother is also incredibly hip. She has a cell phone and is very internet savvy. She even reads this blog and I know she will disapprove of all the attention. Too bad! I can't wait until we can refer to her as Great-Grandma Edie to the little Buster!

Grandma Edie, I hope you have a wonderful birthday! Love you!

(This is one of my favorite photos of my dad and my grandma. It was taken a while ago but I thought they would both appreciate their youthful looks.)

Happy December

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Mine was quite relaxing. Ever since we have been married Damon and I have spent Thanksgiving in Ohio with the Busters and Christmas in Oklahoma with my parents. My parents have spent two Thanksgivings at the Buster's house and even though the last time they came was many years ago my dad still talks about the food, especially the oyster stuffing. Damon’s dad always puts together quite the spread. My favorite is my mother in law’s pumpkin pie though. I made sure to have an after breakfast snack of pumpkin pie on Friday just so I could get in one more piece before we left. Since his parents graciously prepared all the food, I was able to read an entire book on Thursday morning. It was a short book but I thought it was pretty lucky that while lots of folks were at work in the kitchen I got to read a book. Hopefully, next year I will be busy chasing around the little Buster. I read the book, Push, which was the inspiration for the new movie 'Precious.' If you have seen the previews for the movie then you know that the book was not an easy read in terms of content. There was inspiration to be found through all the hardships and my favorite part of the book was the process she went through to learn how to read and write. So many of us had parents that read to us when we were young and we started to learn our ABCs in preschool and by middle school reading and writing was just a given. Words are such a powerful tool and for the main character it was the start of gaining her self worth. The book didn’t exactly make for the kind of morning you would get from watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade but it was an amazing story and I’m glad I read it.

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us I am starting to get in the holiday spirit. Although some of my neighbors seem to be going totally overboard. I am all for some sparkly lights and candles in the windows but some of the newer Christmas decorations are just over the top and completely miss the point of Christmas in my opinion. Do you live in a neighborhood where people have those huge blow-up snow globes or Santas or whatever? There is a house that literally has 5 of them, plus candy canes, plus reindeer, plus lights. The house looks like it threw up Christmas. It is just too much. And the blow-up things make this humming noise that totally freaks out my dog. It is just wrong all around. I will now stop complaining and get back to the holiday spirit.

One of my favorite December traditions is the get together we do with our close group of friends here in Columbus. Our first year here we exchanged small gifts with Marty, Kara and Nancy. Then the next year we decided that was silly and I’m not sure whose idea it was (I would like to credit but I don’t believe that would be accurate) but we came up with the plan to buy toys for Toys for Tots instead. It was so much more fun to go to the store and pick out games, basketballs and Barbies for kids instead of stressing out over what to get and how much to spend on each other. We then added a lunch component so now we meet for lunch and then all caravan over to the local TV station and drop off the toys. Over the years Corey joined in and then Don and then Chris and Suzie and now we have little ones in the group too so it just keeps expanding. I look forward to it every year and this will be our 8th year! I highly recommend it!

More referrals keep rolling in for Gladney families and it is super exciting! I am eager for lots more December referrals! There are also several families with December court dates and I REALLY hope they are successful and we get to see more families united.

Last but not least, today is World AIDS Day. My friend, Paige, wrote an amazing post on her blog. You should really go read it. You should also go read Heidi’s post. They both said it way better than I ever could. Peace.

Mindful Monday

I have mentioned before on this blog how I follow the ONE campaign, which was co-founded by Bono. I try and keep up with their blog because they often highlight great articles about Africa, other organizations doing amazing work, etc. They update the blog several times a day so it is hard to keep up with it but tonight one of the entries really caught my eye. There was a link to an article in the Huffington Post by Blake Mycoskie, the founder of TOMS shoes. I imagine a lot of you have heard about Toms Shoes but for those that haven’t you should check them out. Their premise is pretty simple. For every pair of shoes purchased they donate a pair to a child in need. Simple yet effective. The article was titled, “Fulfilling My Life’s Mission Through the Toms Shoes Movement.” This idea of a life's mission has been something I can’t get out of my mind recently. I have written before about how I think this adoption process is starting to point me in the direction of my calling. It seems that everything I am reading these days whether it be a magazine article, book or poem all have the theme of figuring out what we are meant to do with our lives. I am hoping each experience no matter how big or small gets me closer. Blake states, “I believe each of us has a mission in life, and that one cannot truly be living their most fulfilled life until they recognize this mission and dedicate their life to pursuing it. Sometimes a mission lasts for two weeks or two months, or possibly 20 years.” I appreciate that Blake doesn’t think you can only have one mission but that your life could be made up of several missions. I definitely don’t think that my life has been wasted up to this point but I just think that this adoption has awakened something in me. It’s a passion that I know I need to explore further. After I graduated from college, I truly enjoyed using my Japanese language skills to help people communicate and facilitate a cultural understanding. I like to think there was an importance to that and was my mission in that phase of my life. Clearly what Blake has done with the Toms Shoes movement has resonated with him on a deeper level compared to other things he has done with his life. I think that deeper thing is out there waiting for me. My hope is that if I can focus on being more alert and present in my daily life then it will be easier to follow the road towards what I want to accomplish. Blake says, “Exercise your purchasing power as a consumer, volunteer and bring joy to those in need, and share your experiences, tell your stories, and inspire others along the way.” I know that I am inspired by HIS story.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving week. I will be giving extra thanks this Thursday for all the support and love we have received this year from family, old friends and new ones!

Gobble Gobble Gobble

3 MONTHS DOWN! Today marks three months on the waitlist! We are inching our way up the unofficial list and my blog stalking is reaching new heights. I didn’t know that was possible and apparently it could get even worse. Yikes. These milestones are very exciting and the closer we get the more my excitement and anticipation grow. Annoyingly, the closer we get the more anxious I get too. Oh anxiety, why must you always tag along? Damon and a good family friend, who was over for dinner the other night, very professionally diagnosed me with anticipatory anxiety. Is there such a thing? I always build things up in my mind and imagine all sorts of scenarios and then when whatever it was I was anxious about actually happens I am totally fine. I have ALWAYS been like this so I don’t why I thought this adoption process would be any different. It is just like how I was back in my ice skating days. I would get all worked up right before a competition and wouldn’t be able to eat but the second I got to the rink and started warming up I would chill out. (If you are hoping this mention of my ice skating days means you will get to see a picture of me in a sparkly skating costume then you are mistaken. We will have to get to know each other a little better before I let you in on those pictures.)

I got a new book recently called “Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child” and I started reading it on Sunday and had to put it down because I got totally freaked about attachment. Don’t worry, I will push through and read it because I know I need to be educated about this stuff and prepare myself for situations that may arise. I will have to do it in small segments in order to control the anxiety. I love reading blog posts accounting the writers' travels to Ethiopia to meet their child/children but those posts always stir up anxiety about what it will be like to board that plane knowing that on the other end you FINALLY meet your child! Everything you have been dreaming, hoping and praying for is about to become reality. I mean, do people actually sleep on that flight or the weeks leading up to that flight? It appears they do but I don’t see how that is possible. Oh anxiety, I have told you that I don’t want to be friends but you persist. I know that traveling to Ethiopia is still a ways down the road for us but my anticipatory anxiety often gets the best of me. I think that is one of the many reasons why the wait is so hard. It is so easy to let the anticipation take over rather than just breathe and take each moment as it comes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Practice makes progress, right?

My Thankful Post

A lot of the blogs I read have been focusing recently on what they are thankful for given that November is the month of Thanksgiving. I have really enjoyed reading those posts and it seems to me that when the writers focus on what they are thankful for that their moods instantly improve. I wanted in on some of that action. It is so hard to contain all of the things I am thankful for to one list. However, I realized I have this thing in my life that has renewed my spirits and given me a new purpose and meaning – our adoption process. I was reminded again last night as to why I am so thankful that we are on this journey. My friend, Amy, has been on her agency's waitlist for 14 long months and has faced the wait with strength and bravery. I am not 100% sure whose idea it was but I think Jen and Paige collaborated and came up with the idea for a “sprinkle” for Amy to show our love and support as she and Joel push through this final leg of their time on the waitlist. A group of us went out for dinner and drinks and brought small gifts for Amy. Fabulous idea, right?! It was a wonderful get together and even though it was meant to lift Amy’s spirits it lifted mine as well. As I was driving home, I was thinking about how thankful I am to have these new friends in my life and it is all due to the adoption. If Damon and I face delays or roadblocks it is reassuring to know that all of these women have gone before me in the process and will be there to offer support.

I was reading over on YaYa Stuff the other day about how she realized that when a couple adopts it is all about teamwork. Damon and I have different strengths and we utilized those as we attacked all of the paperwork but it really has felt like we have both been able to experience every step of the process. I had never looked at it that way. We both filled out document after document, we answered questions from the social worker and we were both on the call with Mary when we went out on the waitlist and learned about the next steps. All of those future steps we will experience together – the referral call, passing court and traveling to Ethiopia to meet our child. Oh how I long for those moments!

I really think my life would somehow be less if we had never started this journey. The adoption has so done so much for me already and we don’t even have our little one home yet. The possibilities seem endless and I am so very THANKFUL!

I am not thankful for the fact that my dog was sprayed by a skunk this weekend and my house still smells. I know that doesn’t really go with the thankful theme but a girl still needs a little sympathy every now and then.

Inspirations

Throughout this adoption process we have obviously faced lots of questions and Damon and I welcome them. We are eager to tell people all about our adoption and to draw attention to the needs in Ethiopia. As we were driving to my college reunion, Damon said, “Get ready to answer lots of questions about the adoption.” We smiled at each other as he said it though because it is fun to share. Of course we have only been on the waitlist for 2.5 months so maybe as it goes along we’ll tire of some of the questions but for now I enjoy sharing my excitement with others. I was happily surprised the other day when someone asked me if we had any particular inspirations or defining moments that led us to adopt and specifically why we picked Ethiopia. I hadn’t really thought about our decision in terms of inspirations but it was a fun trip down memory lane.

I realized there are a few things I can point to that really touched us and helped us hit send on the initial online application to Gladney. We had been talking about adoption off and on for a while but towards the end of 2008 we were discussing it in more concrete terms. Damon started researching agency websites and I really started getting into reading blogs of women who had adopted or were in process of adopting. Most of the blogs that I read initially were families adopting from Guatemala. I’m not exactly sure how I found these blogs but I was totally hooked and I went back through their archives and read them like novels. I can’t talk about my inspirations to adopt without acknowledging the importance of blogs. Another big thing that happened was that last year I reconnected with one of my best friends from middle school, Valerie. We exchanged a few emails and I found out that Valerie and her husband had adopted a boy from Guatemala. What are the odds!? We got together when I was home for Christmas and it was a defining moment for me. She didn’t know at the time that Damon and I were thinking about adoption but I peppered her with questions and she was a great resource. I also got to know Henry, her son, and he was such a joy. I was instantly part of the Henry fan club. Valerie and Henry have such a good mother-son relationship and he is clearly a happy and loving kid. Looking back, I truly believe that Valerie and I were meant to rekindle our friendship. She was one of the first people I told when we made our decision and she has been a huge support! I am so very grateful.

The other big moment was a day I will never forget. Damon did most of the research on adoption agencies and he had landed on Gladney. I came home from work and Damon told me he had something he wanted me to watch. We went over to the computer and he pressed play on a video that was on Gladney’s Ethiopian website. I had been thinking about adopting from Africa as I envisioned us on our journey so I was very eager to see what he had to show me. Damon warned me that when he watched it earlier that he got a little emotional. I will tell you that I could count on one hand the number of times I have seen Damon cry in the 10 years we have known each other so I knew this had to be big. The video was of a young couple and their trip to Ethiopia to meet their son. There were shots of them on the flight over, the streets of Addis Ababa and of where there son was found abandoned. The part that struck a chord was the end when they were sitting in a waiting room and a Gladney staff member brought their son into the room. It was such a touching moment and I realized I was watching them become a family. I had tears streaming down my face and I looked up at Damon and he said, “I want to adopt from Ethiopia.” It was one of my favorite moments in our marriage.

Pink Ribbon

I have wanted to do this post all month and I am just barely making it in before the deadline. I have a very clear memory of my winter break during my junior year in college. I was sitting next to my father on my grandmother’s couch at her home in Kansas City and my mom and sister were on the other couch across the room. My parents told us that my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer. They told us the doctors said her prognosis was good and that they caught the cancer in its early stages. After that the rest of the conversation was a bit of a blur. My grandmother’s house had a huge bay window and I just stared out the window in shock. My mom received a huge outpouring of support and our family and friends rallied around her. I remember my dad saying that her diagnosis drove home to him what an amazing community of friends they had in Tulsa. A little over a year after her diagnosis, the Race for the Cure in Tulsa rolled around and tons of friends showed up and walked with my family in support of my mom. As we approached the end of the race, I stepped back and watched my parents as they held hands and crossed the finish line. That was about ten years ago and my mom has finished that race every year. I love that the Komen Foundation does the Race for the Cure in cities across the country throughout the year. It is wonderful that October is breast cancer awareness month but the fight should go on all year.

Last season on So You Think You Can Dance one of the choreographers did a tribute dance for a friend who was battling breast cancer. I watched it and tears just streamed down my face. I decided to post it here to honor all of those who have had to face that battle.

Reunion Recap

This past Saturday Damon and I made the two hour drive to Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana. I graduated from Earlham in May of 1999 and they do their reunion activities over Homecoming Weekend each fall. I met some of my closest friends in the world at Earlham, including Damon. I walked away from the reunion totally over stimulated and didn’t sleep well that night. I kept going over a lot of the conversations I had and there were a few things that kept resurfacing. I was thinking about how impressed I was with what so many of my classmates were doing with their lives and how many of them credit their experience at Earlham for what they decided to pursue as careers. Several of the people I caught up with work for non-profits or even started their own non-profits, teach young children, are completing graduate degrees, etc. It struck me that a high percentage of Earlham alums seem to be involved in more service oriented fields. I shouldn't have been surprised by this. Earlham is a very small liberal arts school that was founded by the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in the mid 1800s. Most of us weren’t raised in the Quaker religion but came away from Earlham with such a respect for a lot of what Quakers value and even though we may not always realize it those ideals have influenced our major life choices. Earlham faculty, who we called by their first names, were always talking about engaging us in the life long process of learning. I think the Quaker ideals of social activism, living simply and creating communities are alive and well in all of us. One thing I loved is that our professors usually started class with a moment of silence and we were able to use that time to catch our breath, focus, pray or do whatever felt right. If only we all could approach our daily decisions with a moment of silence. I think we would all be less stressed and would make more rational decisions. I have been to several weddings of Earlham couples and even though they weren’t Quaker they incorporated the moment of silence into their ceremony. I imagine this was done in gratitude for what we all gained from the influence of Quaker values. I even think that our decision to adopt was partly influenced by the connection we feel to our global community and that was surely cultivated at Earlham.

The other thing I realized is that I have totally been taking for granted how lucky Damon and I are to have the shared experience of going to Earlham. I imagine many people will tell you that their college experiences were unique but I truly believe this about Earlham. Several people approached us and told us how jealous they were that we didn’t have to explain all things Earlham to our significant other because we both just get it. One friend had brought his wife back to Earlham for the first time and you could see the joy in eyes as he got to observe her taking in all the experiences and meeting people that were a big part of his college experience. At the class dinner another friend was showing me her pictures from the day and one of the pictures was the back of a bathroom stall that had a Frisbee hanging on the coat hook. She said she took the photo because it was “so Earlham” and she wanted to show her boyfriend. I never realized that Damon and I were just able to talk about Earlham without having to explain it. Clearly, I really need people to knock me over the head with lessons of gratitude sometimes. It is a wonderful community of friends at Earlham and I hope to continue to build on that wherever Damon and I go.

“They gathered sticks and kindled a fire and left it burning.”

-Engraved in the fireplace in the cafeteria at Earlham College

Random

I would like to apologize in advance. There will be no central theme to this blog post.

Random Item #1

Thank you so much for the wonderful anniversary wishes. Damon and I extended our anniversary by one week and went out for our celebratory dinner last night. We went to one of my favorite places in all of Ohio. Yoshi’s! Japanese food makes me happy like no other food can. At authentic Japanese restaurants there will always be a main hostess lady. Although the word hostess doesn’t really do her justice because it is more like she is the mother of the restaurant. I have never been a regular at a restaurant but I am at Yoshi’s. It pleases me that when I walk in the “restaurant mother” greets me by name. She is lovely. We were chatting and I told her that we were out celebrating our wedding anniversary. A few minutes later she comes back to the table with two glasses of wine that were on the house! I must say it again. She is lovely. We had to use Damon’s phone so it isn’t the greatest quality and doesn’t do the sushi justice but here is a shot of what we devoured.

Another thing I love about Yoshi’s is that Damon and I are always in the minority. When we got up to leave I looked around and realized in the entire front room of the restaurant we were 2 of the 4 non-Japanese people there. That is when you know you are at a truly authentic and delicious Japanese restaurant.

Random Item #2

Yesterday was our 2 month waitaversary! We are getting closer and closer to our little buster.

Random Item #3

Earlier in the adoption process, I stumbled across the website of the non-profit group, Ethiopian Orphan Relief. I was scrolling through the bios of the board members and much to my delight one of them was right here in central Ohio. I told myself I must meet this woman. Through the group of Ethiopia Adoptive Families I did. Paige is wonderful and is extremely knowledgeable about Ethiopia. At one of the dinners a few months ago, I told Paige to let me know if there were any opportunities to volunteer for EOR here in Ohio. Well, yesterday afternoon I got my opportunity. We sold tickets as part of Macy’s Shop for a Cause and the proceeds from the tickets went to EOR. The three hours flew by and we sold a fair amount of tickets. I feel very lucky to have my local Ethiopia adoptive mom mentors of Amy and Paige right here in OH. You should be jealous of me. Seriously.

Random Item #4

I have a theory. When I don’t watch a regular season Buckeye game they lose. My theory was proven again yesterday. I didn’t watch the game (reason = random item #3) and they lost to Purdue. Pathetic. Sorry Buckeyes. This season is not going well.

That’s all I got. Next Saturday is my 10 year college reunion. I think that deserves a dedicated blog post.

Go Hustlin’ Quakers! Stay tuned.

Seven Years Ago

Seven years ago today I said, “I do.” When we were married both of our parents were in their 30th year of marriage. How amazing is that? I knew I was in love but I didn’t know how our love would be tested. Does it make sense that through the harder times I have found more love that I didn’t know was there? Seven years sure feels like a lot but I am sure our parents, who are now in their 37th year are thinking, “Hah, just you wait!” Parenthood will definitely bring about a new set of challenges but I know that when I envision Damon holding our child for the first time and the look he will have in his eyes that it makes me cry. I’m not naïve and can say with certainty it won’t be all sunshine and roses. I will for sure get annoyed when he starts following our child around with a dust buster hoping to catch all the crumbs. But in all seriousness, today I don’t really want to focus on what we’ve been through or even where we are going but want to try and celebrate simply us. For me, on this day, that’s enough.

"Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold. " - Zelda Fitzgerald

Addicted

It’s official. I am completely addicted to reading about adoption. I need to join a support group or maybe the blogging community is my support group. However, if that is the case then we are a bunch of enablers by continuing to update our blogs and share information about adoption and our personal journeys through it. It doesn’t end with just the blogs. I also love all sites that sell any sort of Ethiopia related gear like t-shirts or baby clothes. I have to exert a lot of will not to buy all of it. Did you know there happen to be shows on TV about adoption? They exist to feed my addiction. There is a new show on the WE network about open adoptions. That is obviously not the route Damon and I chose but I still enjoy learning about it and how the relationships develop. The show makes me wonder even more about my future child’s birth mother. I think about her a lot but that is a post for another day.

This adoption addiction really became apparent to me on Saturday morning. I have been super congested and not sleeping well so after a night of tossing and turning I was up pretty early. I decided to let Damon sleep in and went out to the living room to watch a little TV. I flipped through the channels and settled in on the Today Show. You know how the crowds gather outside on Rockefeller Plaza and occasionally hold signs and Al Roker will engage some of them and wish them happy birthday. Well, I was slouched on the couch and my eyes were a bit glazed over and I saw a sign in the crowd that said, “I love my Gladney Baby.” Then I saw another one that said, “Adoption Rocks – I heart Gladney.” I was seriously concerned that I was hallucinating. No joke. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the TV again and the signs were still there. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I had no idea why they were there but it pleased me. I went through the rest of the day and most of Sunday and basically forgot about this moment. Then I was checking blogs on Sunday afternoon and Heidi mentioned a gathering of Gladney folks in the NY/CT area and I remembered “the incident.” Luckily, Heidi was able to reassure me that this was not an "adoption brain" vision but an actual occurrence. It was a close call. I rarely watch the Today Show on Satuday mornings and think it is a little weird that the morning I decided to watch there were people there holding signs about our adoption agency. It makes me smile actually.

I wanted to share a few of the great links I have discovered through my addiction.

Amharic Tees: They have adorable stuff for infants, toddlers, women and men. If you typically get a Christmas gift from me then odds are that you might receive something from this site. Their shirts are 100% organic cotton and they import their natural fibers from Ethiopia. Plus the shirts are just plain cute and incorporate Ethiopian culture.

Parenthood for Me: This couple has started a non-profit to help provide resources and education for couples either going through adoption or pursuing treatments for infertility. They are currently building an endowment so that couples pursuing adoption can apply for grants to help ease the expense of adoption. The wife also has a great blog and she is an extremely gifted writer. You should check it out!

Amharic Kids: This site has educational tools for kids. The couple that started Amharic Kids realized after the adoption of their daughter that they wanted more tools like books and toys that could help incorporate their daughter’s culture into her life. They have a book called “My First Amharic Words” and these bean bag sets that teach colors and numbers in Amharic. Plus they have tons of other stuff. And the cool thing is that proceeds from the purchases go back to Ethiopia in the form of sponsoring children and towards Ethiopian food relief programs. I will make several purchases from this site when our little buster is home.

I joke about my addiction but I really do think overall the addiction is therapeutic. There are so many times I read someone’s blog and I think how they took the words right out of my mouth. To know that someone out there in Minnesota, Oregon, New York or right here in Columbus is feeling what I am feeling is of huge comfort. There is no doubt the addiction will continue and I will only stop when I have a true hallucination. I’m okay with that.

New Activities

Damon and I have made it a goal to try new things and stay busy during the wait so when our good friends, Chris and Suzie, invited us to go raspberry picking this past Saturday we were totally up for it. We arrived at Mitchell’s Farm and the owner told us that it was getting late in the season but there were still tons of berries to pick. It was an overcast morning and was misting rain but we had a really great time and were very successful in the raspberry picking department.

Here are some of the pictures I took.

Suzie and Damon (in the distance) hard at work

Chris and Suzie pausing for a cute shot.

Damon was a berry picking machine.

I am showing off all the berries even though I picked a small margin of them.

Since we had SO many berries I felt inspired to bake something with them. The inspiration to cook is a rarity for me so I thought I should take advantage. When I was talking to my sister recently she had mentioned going to a scone party so I had scones on the brain. Damon found a recipe online for me and off I went. I was a little nervous because the last time I decided to bake it did not go so well. I used a banana nut bread recipe to make banana nut muffins, which would have been fine, except that I didn’t alter the time in the oven. Needless to say, the muffins came out resembling rubber. BUT this time my scones turned out great.

Here are some pics of my scone baking extravaganza.

Perfect berries

Scones pre-oven

Finished product

I am very proud of myself and love that we picked the berries ourselves and then came home and used them in a recipe. This is where you shower me with positive reinforcement so that I will be encouraged to do this again. J We still have lots of berries in the freezer so I’ll have to find some more recipes.

Finally, last week was a big week in Gladney referral world! It was very exciting to read all about “the call” moments for all of the families. Those are some of my favorite blog posts. I know it is way early for me to be thinking about "the call" but with all the referrals last week it makes it so hard not to wonder what it will be like. Will I be at work? Will Damon and I be able to receive the information together or will it be by conference call? Will I cry instantly? (yes) How old will the baby be? So many questions. Time will tell. I am practicing patience on a daily basis and grasping to the fact that my time will come eventually. Congrats Gladney families!

My Internal Shift

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about this internal shift of priorities I have going on inside of me. I am not exactly sure what it all means so if this post seems a little all over the place that is because I haven’t figured it all out yet. I don’t necessarily think that the core of what makes me “Emily” has changed but the things that come in and out of my brain are so different from what they used to be. I never imagined my thoughts would float to Ethiopia so frequently or about adoption awareness or the AIDS crisis or clean water. These are all things that if someone brought it up in conversation then yes I would think about it but never on my own and never a million times a day. All of these thoughts are still fresh and new so I know that it is probably wise to linger on it for a while and see where it all leads me but it is hard not to wonder. I like to think that we all have our own calling in life and it takes certain life experiences to help us figure out what it is. I know I am still on this search but I have a feeling that this adoption journey is leading me somewhere truly rewarding and wonderful. I’ll let you know if I ever figure it out.

I read a poem recently (in something my mom gave me of course) that pushed me to think more about what my passions are and how I want to live out those passions. I thought I would share.

Calling -by Kathleen Pahl

Wake up! God is calling! The Earth, the people, the animals are calling.

The blades of grass, the rocks, the soil are calling.

The air, the now, the moment is calling. God, the universe, the world is calling.

LIFE is calling!

Did you know that...... Your smile is the rising sun?

Your hug is a cradle? Your kind words are medicine?

Your labor is a seed? Your visit is a song?

You have a calling!

It’s not being sugary fake. It’s as real as the blood in your veins.

You may not know what your calling is, but love will lead you to it.

Your calling may appear to be small, but it’s actually huge!

It may vary from year to year moment to moment.

It could be to: learn, help, feel, be, act, sing, write, work, clean, hug,

hold, march, watch, give, receive, bless, dress, cook, hear, text, call,

dance, run, draw, stop, start, move, plant, sculpt, stretch, teach, lift,

rest, mend, lend, make, teach, follow, or lead.

You may never see the end result, but, do it anyway!

You are needed.

Find your calling. Find yourself.

You are needed, Now and always.

Wake up! God is calling!

One Month Down & Tagged

One Month Down! Today we are celebrating our one month wait-a-versary. Whoo Hoo! I was trying to come up with a cute picture of my dog carrying a sign with a 1 on it but that just wasn’t happening so you’ll just have to envision it. J We are one month closer to our little buster!

As I mentioned in my previous post, Tam tagged me. Then a few days ago Leah tagged me as well so I figured I better get to work. I will admit that I did the 25 random things that spread around Facebook like wild fire earlier this year and I did steal from that list. So if you are my friend on Facebook then I apologize for the repetition.

1. My middle name is Kyger. It was my grandmother’s maiden name. When I was in the second grade I changed it to Beth and I wrote it on all my papers. I think my second grade teacher really thought my name was Emily Beth. My mom was probably a little concerned. Now I really like it and that it is unique and has family meaning but at the time I just wanted to conform.

2. I am terrible at taking pills. I actually take a drink and then shove the pill in my mouth and hope it goes down. I have only met one other person who is like me in the pill taking world. If all pills could be chewable or like the yummy bubble gum liquid medicine we got as kids then I would be thrilled. I really want to start taking fish oil pills but all the ones I have found are just too big. It is a true conundrum.

3. I ran the NYC marathon in 2003. I wore a t-shirt that said "David's niece". My uncle David ran the NYC marathon over 20 times and one of the 1st times (I was probably 3) he wore a t-shirt that said "Emily's uncle". It cracked me up when I was running and people would cheer and say "go David's niece?" and you could just sense they were perplexed. It entertained me for 26.2 miles. My uncle passed away in April 2006 and I think of him often. I know he would be really excited about our adoption.

4. Damon cooks dinner every night. Since we have been married I could probably think of maybe 10 times when I have cooked and that might be a stretch. I do aspire to cook but at the moment I am fine with reaping with the benefits of being married to someone who enjoys cooking.

5. I LOVE the Olympics. When they roll around I am totally addicted and can’t get enough. This is probably because of my love for sports and also because I get caught up in the personal stories of the athletes.

6. I love to have coffee in bed on the weekends while I read the paper. I know with a child on the way those days are probably numbered. I will enjoy them while I can.

7. My family rocks. They are awesome. I also really lucked out in the in-law department. I know Damon's parents would do anything for me and I love them. I am blessed.

Okay, so here are the blogs I am tagging.

1. Tracy at Always and Forever Ours

2. Claire at My Inner June

3. Christine at The Mathews Family

4. Lindsey at Africa Bound Andrews

5. Kristi at We Love our Lucy

6. Amy at Peanut Journey

7. Valerie at My Own Crafty Wonderland

I’ll be eagerly awaiting your posts. J

Central Ohio Folks:

Enkutatash – Ethiopian New Year Celebration

Saturday, September 19th from Noon – 4pm

Whitehall Yearling High School

Kids under 12 are Free / $10 in advance and $15 at the door

Damon and I will be there enjoying the food and festivities so come on out and support ETSS!

Information Seekers

I have mentioned before on this blog how my mother is a librarian. As a child I would get annoyed when I would ask my mom a question and her response was always, “Let’s look it up in the encyclopedia.” I knew that she knew the answer but she was trying to teach me a lesson about seeking out information. She would gleefully go pull out the encyclopedia and we would read about whatever it was. Was it weird that we had a set of encyclopedias at home? I always wondered if that was a librarian-only house thing. At the time I wasn’t too hip on this lesson because I just wanted to know and didn’t want to “waste time” looking in the encyclopedia. I am now grateful for her desire to impress this thirst for knowledge upon me. Any time I told my mom about an obstacle I was facing or a new interest that I had, I would soon be bombarded with books or newspaper articles or websites that provided information about the topic. When I told my parents that we had officially made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia they were extremely excited and it was only matter of days before my mom was up to her old tricks. She started reading several blogs, looking for children’s books about Africa and finding books to buy and send my way.

She sent me this book about a young couple from our agency that decided to adopt. I read it in one afternoon.

(image via fromashestoafrica.com)

She sent me several children’s books like this one that I absolutely love.

(image via amazon.com)

When we were in New Mexico my mom had this book with her and told me to take it home and read it. I just finished it this morning.

(image via amazon.com)

My mom visited last weekend and brought the latest issue of Adoptive Families magazine and told us she ordered the subscription for us. She just can’t help herself.

To know that all of this information is out there really helps me feel connected to a broader group and this journey isn’t nearly as lonely as I predicted. I like to think that the success I have had so far in discovering my own list of Ethiopia and adoption related information is due to some of those old encyclopedia lessons from my childhood. That is part of why I started this blog in the first place. I found Paige’s blog and EOR. I found Amy and she told me all about the group of families here in our neck of the woods that have adopted or are in process of adopting from Ethiopia. This group has already provided us with new friendships and with people like Amy who are willing to pass on the information they have gathered. We are all paying it forward if you will. It is such a privilege to feel connected to this larger community and truly all the information and support lessens the anxiety of this process and all that is unknown. My prayer is that anyone out there who is considering adoption has someone in their life to encourage them to go out and seek the information they need to lead them down this path.

I also can’t end this entry without mentioning that I now feel like an official blogger. Why you ask? I have been TAGGED by Tam. This must be one of the true inductions into blog world. I will get to work on that for my next entry!

"Knowledge is power. Information is liberating. Education is the premise of progress, in every society, in every family. " - Kofi Annan

September Birthdays

I am sitting here watching the US Open and they are honoring several athletes that have started foundations and are out doing amazing things with their celebrity status. Since it is a tennis tournament it is not shocking that their final honoree is Andre Agassi. As you may know, he started a charter school in Las Vegas and is working hard to improve education for children labeled “at risk.” Andre said that he believes “that caring by definition means doing.” How true. One of the many benefits of this adoption journey is the education we have received on the many organizations that are DOING great work in Africa. In June, I highlighted Mocha Club and was so touched when several of my friends went out and ordered t-shirts to benefit Mocha Club.

A little over a week ago, I learned about Charity: Water on Tam’s blog. The founder of Charity: Water, Scott Harrison, was born in September and a few years ago decided to throw a party and have everybody bring $20. They took the money that was raised at his birthday party and put it towards funding wells in Uganda. Did you know that a billion people in the world don’t have clean drinking water?! I had no clue and I know I take my clean water for granted on a daily basis. So on the eve of my September birthday I thought Charity: Water was the appropriate organization to blog about. Two years ago Scott gave up his birthday again and Charity: Water raised $150,000 and built wells in Kenya. Last September they raised $1 million dollars and helped build wells in Ethiopia! They served over 50,000 people! Maybe some of my future child’s relatives were able to benefit? What is crazy to me is that Scott Harrison is only one year older than I am and look at what he has done in his 33 years. It is another wake up call to me that the best way to survive this wait is to get out and DO. I have found in the past that when I am able to get outside myself and actually contribute to something bigger and more meaningful then I always end up feeling better and less anxious about the day to day happenings of my life. I certainly have not been a great example the past couple of years of volunteering my time so I hope to start changing that over the next few months.

Check out Scott’s latest video.

The story of charity: water - The 2009 September Campaign Trailer from charity: water on Vimeo.

Do you have one of those favorite stories that your parents tell you about your childhood? I am reminded of one of mine as I sit here and watch Venus play about when my parents first brought me home from the hospital. I was their first child so they really had no idea what to expect. They came home to their New York apartment and basically did what they normally would and turned on the US Open. They watched tennis and they watched me. They watched tennis and they watched me. So my mom says every year when the US Open rolls around she is reminded of just watching me and having no clue what to do. It is such a simple story but I never get tired of hearing it. I am pleased and find it so appropriate that on the opening night of the US Open this year Andre Agassi spoke to the crowd about DOING. Here’s to my 32^nd year to be filled with lots of doing! Cheers!