Mindful Monday

I have mentioned before on this blog how I follow the ONE campaign, which was co-founded by Bono. I try and keep up with their blog because they often highlight great articles about Africa, other organizations doing amazing work, etc. They update the blog several times a day so it is hard to keep up with it but tonight one of the entries really caught my eye. There was a link to an article in the Huffington Post by Blake Mycoskie, the founder of TOMS shoes. I imagine a lot of you have heard about Toms Shoes but for those that haven’t you should check them out. Their premise is pretty simple. For every pair of shoes purchased they donate a pair to a child in need. Simple yet effective. The article was titled, “Fulfilling My Life’s Mission Through the Toms Shoes Movement.” This idea of a life's mission has been something I can’t get out of my mind recently. I have written before about how I think this adoption process is starting to point me in the direction of my calling. It seems that everything I am reading these days whether it be a magazine article, book or poem all have the theme of figuring out what we are meant to do with our lives. I am hoping each experience no matter how big or small gets me closer. Blake states, “I believe each of us has a mission in life, and that one cannot truly be living their most fulfilled life until they recognize this mission and dedicate their life to pursuing it. Sometimes a mission lasts for two weeks or two months, or possibly 20 years.” I appreciate that Blake doesn’t think you can only have one mission but that your life could be made up of several missions. I definitely don’t think that my life has been wasted up to this point but I just think that this adoption has awakened something in me. It’s a passion that I know I need to explore further. After I graduated from college, I truly enjoyed using my Japanese language skills to help people communicate and facilitate a cultural understanding. I like to think there was an importance to that and was my mission in that phase of my life. Clearly what Blake has done with the Toms Shoes movement has resonated with him on a deeper level compared to other things he has done with his life. I think that deeper thing is out there waiting for me. My hope is that if I can focus on being more alert and present in my daily life then it will be easier to follow the road towards what I want to accomplish. Blake says, “Exercise your purchasing power as a consumer, volunteer and bring joy to those in need, and share your experiences, tell your stories, and inspire others along the way.” I know that I am inspired by HIS story.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving week. I will be giving extra thanks this Thursday for all the support and love we have received this year from family, old friends and new ones!

Gobble Gobble Gobble

3 MONTHS DOWN! Today marks three months on the waitlist! We are inching our way up the unofficial list and my blog stalking is reaching new heights. I didn’t know that was possible and apparently it could get even worse. Yikes. These milestones are very exciting and the closer we get the more my excitement and anticipation grow. Annoyingly, the closer we get the more anxious I get too. Oh anxiety, why must you always tag along? Damon and a good family friend, who was over for dinner the other night, very professionally diagnosed me with anticipatory anxiety. Is there such a thing? I always build things up in my mind and imagine all sorts of scenarios and then when whatever it was I was anxious about actually happens I am totally fine. I have ALWAYS been like this so I don’t why I thought this adoption process would be any different. It is just like how I was back in my ice skating days. I would get all worked up right before a competition and wouldn’t be able to eat but the second I got to the rink and started warming up I would chill out. (If you are hoping this mention of my ice skating days means you will get to see a picture of me in a sparkly skating costume then you are mistaken. We will have to get to know each other a little better before I let you in on those pictures.)

I got a new book recently called “Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child” and I started reading it on Sunday and had to put it down because I got totally freaked about attachment. Don’t worry, I will push through and read it because I know I need to be educated about this stuff and prepare myself for situations that may arise. I will have to do it in small segments in order to control the anxiety. I love reading blog posts accounting the writers' travels to Ethiopia to meet their child/children but those posts always stir up anxiety about what it will be like to board that plane knowing that on the other end you FINALLY meet your child! Everything you have been dreaming, hoping and praying for is about to become reality. I mean, do people actually sleep on that flight or the weeks leading up to that flight? It appears they do but I don’t see how that is possible. Oh anxiety, I have told you that I don’t want to be friends but you persist. I know that traveling to Ethiopia is still a ways down the road for us but my anticipatory anxiety often gets the best of me. I think that is one of the many reasons why the wait is so hard. It is so easy to let the anticipation take over rather than just breathe and take each moment as it comes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Practice makes progress, right?

My Thankful Post

A lot of the blogs I read have been focusing recently on what they are thankful for given that November is the month of Thanksgiving. I have really enjoyed reading those posts and it seems to me that when the writers focus on what they are thankful for that their moods instantly improve. I wanted in on some of that action. It is so hard to contain all of the things I am thankful for to one list. However, I realized I have this thing in my life that has renewed my spirits and given me a new purpose and meaning – our adoption process. I was reminded again last night as to why I am so thankful that we are on this journey. My friend, Amy, has been on her agency's waitlist for 14 long months and has faced the wait with strength and bravery. I am not 100% sure whose idea it was but I think Jen and Paige collaborated and came up with the idea for a “sprinkle” for Amy to show our love and support as she and Joel push through this final leg of their time on the waitlist. A group of us went out for dinner and drinks and brought small gifts for Amy. Fabulous idea, right?! It was a wonderful get together and even though it was meant to lift Amy’s spirits it lifted mine as well. As I was driving home, I was thinking about how thankful I am to have these new friends in my life and it is all due to the adoption. If Damon and I face delays or roadblocks it is reassuring to know that all of these women have gone before me in the process and will be there to offer support.

I was reading over on YaYa Stuff the other day about how she realized that when a couple adopts it is all about teamwork. Damon and I have different strengths and we utilized those as we attacked all of the paperwork but it really has felt like we have both been able to experience every step of the process. I had never looked at it that way. We both filled out document after document, we answered questions from the social worker and we were both on the call with Mary when we went out on the waitlist and learned about the next steps. All of those future steps we will experience together – the referral call, passing court and traveling to Ethiopia to meet our child. Oh how I long for those moments!

I really think my life would somehow be less if we had never started this journey. The adoption has so done so much for me already and we don’t even have our little one home yet. The possibilities seem endless and I am so very THANKFUL!

I am not thankful for the fact that my dog was sprayed by a skunk this weekend and my house still smells. I know that doesn’t really go with the thankful theme but a girl still needs a little sympathy every now and then.

Inspirations

Throughout this adoption process we have obviously faced lots of questions and Damon and I welcome them. We are eager to tell people all about our adoption and to draw attention to the needs in Ethiopia. As we were driving to my college reunion, Damon said, “Get ready to answer lots of questions about the adoption.” We smiled at each other as he said it though because it is fun to share. Of course we have only been on the waitlist for 2.5 months so maybe as it goes along we’ll tire of some of the questions but for now I enjoy sharing my excitement with others. I was happily surprised the other day when someone asked me if we had any particular inspirations or defining moments that led us to adopt and specifically why we picked Ethiopia. I hadn’t really thought about our decision in terms of inspirations but it was a fun trip down memory lane.

I realized there are a few things I can point to that really touched us and helped us hit send on the initial online application to Gladney. We had been talking about adoption off and on for a while but towards the end of 2008 we were discussing it in more concrete terms. Damon started researching agency websites and I really started getting into reading blogs of women who had adopted or were in process of adopting. Most of the blogs that I read initially were families adopting from Guatemala. I’m not exactly sure how I found these blogs but I was totally hooked and I went back through their archives and read them like novels. I can’t talk about my inspirations to adopt without acknowledging the importance of blogs. Another big thing that happened was that last year I reconnected with one of my best friends from middle school, Valerie. We exchanged a few emails and I found out that Valerie and her husband had adopted a boy from Guatemala. What are the odds!? We got together when I was home for Christmas and it was a defining moment for me. She didn’t know at the time that Damon and I were thinking about adoption but I peppered her with questions and she was a great resource. I also got to know Henry, her son, and he was such a joy. I was instantly part of the Henry fan club. Valerie and Henry have such a good mother-son relationship and he is clearly a happy and loving kid. Looking back, I truly believe that Valerie and I were meant to rekindle our friendship. She was one of the first people I told when we made our decision and she has been a huge support! I am so very grateful.

The other big moment was a day I will never forget. Damon did most of the research on adoption agencies and he had landed on Gladney. I came home from work and Damon told me he had something he wanted me to watch. We went over to the computer and he pressed play on a video that was on Gladney’s Ethiopian website. I had been thinking about adopting from Africa as I envisioned us on our journey so I was very eager to see what he had to show me. Damon warned me that when he watched it earlier that he got a little emotional. I will tell you that I could count on one hand the number of times I have seen Damon cry in the 10 years we have known each other so I knew this had to be big. The video was of a young couple and their trip to Ethiopia to meet their son. There were shots of them on the flight over, the streets of Addis Ababa and of where there son was found abandoned. The part that struck a chord was the end when they were sitting in a waiting room and a Gladney staff member brought their son into the room. It was such a touching moment and I realized I was watching them become a family. I had tears streaming down my face and I looked up at Damon and he said, “I want to adopt from Ethiopia.” It was one of my favorite moments in our marriage.