His Birthday

He's 3. I can't believe it. His birthday was fun and low key and he really reveled in being the birthday boy all day. LB woke up and the first thing I heard coming from his room at 6:30am was, "It's my birfday! Mommy, it's my birfday!" It was too cute. I went in his room and he asked me, "it's my birfday now? Now?" I am not really sure what he was expecting but I had to reassure him that it was, in fact, his birthday now. The night before I wrapped his presents and placed them at this spot on the table. I remember that my mom used to do that for us and so I wanted to carry on that tradition.

D blew up a couple of balloons and LB's been playing with those just as much as his new toys. Typical. I don't think LB knew what to expect but he was pretty happy to see presents on the table. We let him open gifts and before he opened each one he would ask, "maybe it's an airplane?" So obsessed! We did get him some foam gliders and he likes that he can throw them but they didn't go over as well as I thought. Oh well. He got a slide whistle, which was probably his favorite, some puzzles, drums and Evil Dr. Porkchop (from Toy Story). Overall, he was happy with his loot.

LB loves donuts so the day before I bought a few and had the idea to put candles in his donut so that D and I could sing to him first thing in the morning. He had the best look on his face while we were singing. I wanted to freeze time so we could make that moment last even longer. I captured a sweet picture just as we finished singing.

After the morning festivities, D had to head to work so LB and I just went about our normal morning. I had decided that for the most part I wanted to keep expectations low and not go too crazy with plans. I did plan a little brunch meet up at our favorite cafe down the street with LB's buddy and his mom, my buddy. LB's friend said, "Happy Birthday" as soon as we walked in and again the smile on LB's face was priceless. The boys did great at brunch and swapped planes and cars while we ate.

A boy's brunch isn't complete without planes, cars, Buzz and a mini Evil Dr. Pork chop, right? After brunch, we went to story time like we usually do on Thursdays and then our afternoon and evening were just very normal. It made for a nice day with a little splash of special here and there. 

LB has transitioned well to telling people that he is "free years old" and he holds up three fingers. He's already excited about turning 4 because I've told him that is when he can get out of the cart and walk next to me at the grocery store. He clearly thinks it is a universal rule. Patting myself on the back for that one. Unless, of course, he isn't quite ready to walk freely through the store when he is 4 and I have no choice. I've got a year before I need to start worrying about that though. This weekend we are having a small family party for him and then his birthday festivities will be complete.

I'll say it again. He's 3. I can't believe it.

Tomorrow You Will Be Three

Dearest LB,

Tomorrow you will be 3 years old. I have to say that this past year has been filled with so much growth and joy that I am sad to see the twos go. I'm excited for you to learn to do new things like dress yourself and use the potty but I'm sad that we are losing more and more of your babyhood. In so many ways, you were a textbook two year old. You would ask for a banana and then when presented with a banana you would scream at me for not bringing cheese. You would be happily playing with your planes one moment and the next you were throwing them across the room in disgust. But you overcame so much that I can't help but be filled with pride. We stopped working with your occupational therapist this year. And even though we were both sad to stop seeing "Kaka" on a regular basis it was a good thing that you no longer needed her help. You are still a crazy picky eater but you can chew and swallow alongside your peers. Your OT helped you overcome your fear of touch and being messy and today when I picked you up from preschool you still had signs of shaving cream on your face from the craft project. There have been many moments during your gymnastics class when I've been struck at how profoundly you have changed. The class gets very loud at times as kids are running around and screaming. You may not always want to join in the screaming craziness but last year I would have had to remove you from the room when it got too loud. Yesterday during class you and your buddy were chasing each other and fell on top of each other and even wrestled for a moment. I ran closer to you out of habit to make sure you were okay and you stood up with a big smile on your face and you were ready for more. I stood there in shock. At the end of story time at the library the librarian always gives stamps to the kids. You used to hold back and would never join in the scrimmage to be first to get a stamp. These days you are right in the middle of it all and could care less if you get shoved or pushed. A year ago you had a big meltdown when a girl fell on your toes at the library. The way you have overcome your fears blows me away.

I remember one day about six months ago, I was reading a parenting book all about two year olds. The author warned that around two and a half a lot of kids will start in on bedtime stalling tactics. And like clockwork you did the same. However, your requests for "one more hug" or "rub my back a tiny bit" are impossible to ignore. I'm always a sucker for it and probably always will be. The book also said that two year olds are lovers of routine and any change to that routine can be cause for a tantrum. The author even said some two year olds might get upset if you take a different route home from the store or school. Just days before I read that chapter you were yelling at me from the backseat because I turned on the wrong street to go home from the store. The fact that our street had a water main break and was blocked off was just not a good enough explanation. You have become quite the backseat driver, in fact, that yesterday you scolded me for turning on a red light. For the record, it was a perfectly legal right turn on red. You are still incredibly attached your blanket or "baba" as you affectionately call it. I don't dare leave the house without it. When you fall down or get upset you always ask for baba. The other day I stepped on one your planes and yelled a not so nice word as I grabbed my foot in my pain. You came running to me with baba and said, "Here Mommy, baba will help." And it did. I love how compassionate you are. You have a friend that has a stay at home daddy and you often bring up your friend's mommy in concern. Last week in the bath you asked me, "C no have a mommy?" I explained to you that C does have a mommy but she goes to work and the daddy stays home. It launched in to a good conversation about how families are different. Some families both parents work and other families have two mommies or daddies. I loved the way your eyes lit up when I told you that some kids have two daddies. You are still a total daddy's boy. I know the best part of your daddy's day is hearing you scream "daddy" when he walks in the door and you give him the biggest bear hug. I think you were ready to sign on the dotted line for the whole two daddy situation.

If I am being honest, I get really emotional around your birthday. Not just because you are getting older but because I can't help but think about your family back in Ethiopia. I think of them often, of course, but your birthday is a tough one for me. They lost so much and we gained our brightest light in this world. It doesn't seem fair. Yet I can't imagine my life without you. Life manages to be complicated and beautiful all at the same time. You already know this more than most. Your smile and laugh bring joy to everyone you meet and I wish they could experience that too. Someday. That is my prayer.

Tomorrow you will be 3. I can't believe it. Thank you for making me a mom. Your dad and I are possibly the luckiest people on earth.

All my love forever and ever,
Mom

To Be Read in October

An idea came to me a few days ago and I thought I would share it here. LB had just thrown a big tantrum about wanting to go downstairs and play after his bath. Our typical routine is that we do bath, books and bed. It's what we've done ever since he came home. Some weekend nights if we are with friends a little late then the bath gets skipped but 90% of the time that is our routine. LB knows it well. However, over the holidays we really went lax with a lot of our routines, not just bed time. I am confident a lot of parents do. And I think (and hope for LB's case) that as kids get older letting go of those routines over holidays and breaks can be easier. But for us transitioning back to our regular routines has been tough.

As a first time mom I have no reference point as to what other kids are like on a day to day basis. I don't see my friend's kids during bed times or nap times or what it's like to get them out the door in the morning. I only know LB. And he is a kid that if he does something once a certain way then usually he insists on doing it that way again. Do you know what I mean? For example, one of the first days we went to preschool the parking lot guard put his orange stick on LB's belly and and let him push the button on the stick that makes it light up. As thrilled as LB was to see it light up, I remember thinking to myself that now he will want to do it every time. Yep, every week he asks if he can push the button. In this case, he handles it well and doesn't get mad if he can't but he never forgets to ask. I find that we avoid meltdowns if LB knows what is expected. I hope I am not sounding like a super rigid mom. Maybe I am? But I do believe that toddlers find comfort in knowing what the limits are and what comes next. I kind of forgot that over the holidays. Okay, I promise I am getting to my idea.

As I was brainstorming some ways to make the post-holiday transition easier, I realized there were a few other things about the break that I would do differently if granted the opportunity. Let me say, we had a wonderful Christmas! I have so many great memories from this year. LB's age made it truly magical and I suspect next year will be even more fun. LB overall handled all the stimulation and mixed up routines quite well. But oh my, this transition. It's getting the best of me. I realize we are not always going to do things perfectly or anticipate everything. That's asking too much of ourselves and as Anne Lamott says, "Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people." I believe that to be true. But I also believe in "live and learn." I can say confidently that we did a lot of things well. So here was my idea. I wrote a letter to myself. That's it. That was my big idea. (You are probably thinking you stuck around for nothing.) I tucked it away in our desk drawer and then I put a reminder on my calendar for October to read it. In the reminder, I noted where I put the letter because I am sure future me will forget that detail. I made a list of what I thought we did well and what I would do differently. I didn't hold back. I included some parts about our drive there and back that I thought worked nicely. There is no way I will remember all this stuff ten months from now when it's time to plan Christmas 2013. But now it is all fresh in my mind. It felt good and productive to write everything down. I was proud of myself.

We also have the added layer of LB's birthday a few weeks after Christmas. That was another impetus for writing the letter. I think we can make some tweaks to our schedule that will help. But I am finding that the closeness in dates makes managing gifts and stimulation overload very tricky. I don't want LB to feel like his birthday got swallowed up by Christmas. I want him to be and feel celebrated. However, it's tricky, especially at this age when he just discovering the joy of new toys. If any of you out there have advice in managing birthdays close to Christmas then I am all ears!

Finally, I have to vent to about another big mistake we made? TV/Ipad time. Wow, did it get out of control and now going back to setting limits has been UGLY. But I feel like, what is the point of staying home with my kid if he is watching a lot of TV? I give myself credit for making sure we have something to do every morning that gets us out of the house and interacting with the three dimensional world but afternoons and evenings have been tough. He has all these new toys yet he wants to spend so much of his time watching airplanes on Youtube or Finding Nemo. We got Nemo for Christmas and LB LOVES it. It's adorable to hear him repeat lines like, "Are you my conscience?" and "Wow, that's a really big butt." However, it's out of control. Did you let go of screen time limits over the holidays? If so, any ideas for getting out of that funk. If you didn't, then I applaud you!

So that was my great idea. A simple letter to be read in October. Here's to hoping future me will listen to present me. 

1Hundred Girls

A few months ago, I posted about my friend, Tamara, and the amazing work she is doing through Studio Samuel Foundation(SSF) to empower young women who are aging out of the orphanage system in Ethiopia with life skills and the confidence to break the cycle of poverty. Recently, Tamara asked me to join the board and take a more active role in the projects and goals that Studio Samuel is embarking on this year. My answer of "Yes!" was a no brainer. I believe whole heartedly in their mission and am hoping, for reasons close to my heart, to be especially involved in their upcoming projects focused on women's health. If it isn't obvious, I am pretty excited about all of this!

Yesterday, SSF launched the 1Hundred Girls Campaign. I wanted to share two easy ways you can get involved and make an impact on the life of a girl in Ethiopia.

BRAS! Yep, you read that right. SSF is trying collect 260 new or gently used bras for teenage girls at Kechene orhpanage in Addis Ababa. I visited Kechene while we were in Ethiopia and I would love nothing more than to help provide those girls with self esteem, even if it's something as small as owning a bra. Here is the LINK with the mailing information to send a bra or bras. SSF needs to receive all the bras by February 1st so they can be sent to Ethiopia in time for the event.

KARATE!! I think it's pretty well known that karate not only teaches self defense but builds self esteem as well. Sadly, many of these young girls find themselves in situations where defending themselves against rape is not uncommon. For only $27 you can sponsor a girl to take karate classes for 6 months! Think about how easily and quickly you can spend $27 at Target (or your favorite store to putz around) on stuff that is simply that. Stuff. But $27 would provide a young woman with possibly life changing skills. Here is the LINK for more information about the karate program and you can read why each girl in the program has a desire to learn karate.

If you are able to send bras or sponsor karate class, would you please let me know? I would love to send you a personal thank you.

"Invest in a girl and she will do the rest."

Turnpike Play Date

As I mentioned in my December Recap post, we had the opportunity to meet another adoptive family that I have known through blogging for several years. However, it didn't come about as you might expect. Rebecca's blog was one of the first blogs I started reading when we began the process to adopt from Ethiopia. They were in the final stages of waiting to bring their son home in 2008 when I first stumbled across her blog. Since then we have communicated several times over Facebook and email and through our blogs. She cheered us on when we brought LB home and I cheered for her as they returned to Ethiopia to adopt their daughter. We've even talked about trying to arrange a get together when LB and I were visiting Oklahoma, since they live about two hours from my parent's house. However, as Rebecca said several times when we met, "We could not have planned this!"

We decided to begin our journey back to Ohio on December 28th. The plan was to leave around LB's nap time and drive to Illinois and stop for the night. My sister, who lives in St. Louis, was going to follow behind us. (My sister also followed their blog.) We were about an hour into the drive on the Oklahoma turnpike when an SUV with an Ethiopia bumper sticker passed us. D and I both noticed the bumper sticker and wondered aloud if the people in the car were an adoptive family. D even mentioned that maybe they used the same agency since we were still in Oklahoma at that point. All of a sudden the SUV slowed down and pulled in front of us so it left D with no choice but to merge over and pass them. I looked over into the car as we were passing and Rebecca was waving at me! It turns out she had recognized me when they initially passed us and told her husband to slow down. I happen to have an Africa bumper sticker on my car as well, which is what prompted her to look at our car. I actually wonder that if neither of us had Africa themed bumper stickers would this meeting ever had happened? Maybe not. Once I saw her, I started dying laughing and D thought I was totally insane. He couldn't believe I would recognize someone that I had never met. I started wondering if they would know to follow us off an exit so we could try and meet and just say hi. But then I got the idea to message her on Facebook with the hope she had her phone on her. She wrote me right back and we decided we would travel up a few exits to a stop in Missouri where there was a Starbucks. It turns out they were driving from Oklahoma to Missouri to see family. Thankfully, LB had yet to fall asleep because I really wanted our kids to meet. I should also say that we used the same agency so LB and Rebecca's kids were all at the same care center in Addis. Not at the same time. But still the same place and the same nannies. So they didn't meet in Ethiopia but they did meet at a Starbucks off the highway in Missouri. Too funny.

It was so surreal to see her family get out of the car and to give her and her kids a hug. We spent close to an hour at Starbucks where we chatted and our kids ate snacks and played. It was so fun to see them together and to experience her kids' personalities, even though I felt like I already knew them. They were as cute and as wonderful as I thought they would be. Rebecca and I kept laughing about the craziness of the whole situation and the time we spent there flew by. We did snap a few photos to document the occasion before we all continued on our road trips. As you can see from the photos, LB was quite smitten with cute Ruthie. You can hardly blame him! I love that he put his arm around her.

Seriously? How often does stuff like this happen? I'm so glad it happened us!

Rebecca, next time let's pick a spot other than the turnpike for a play date.

LB's First Snow

My neighbor sent me the above picture the day after Christmas to give us an idea of what we were missing in our neck of the woods. I was not at all sad about it. D was hoping for a white Christmas in Oklahoma but thankfully that didn't happen. My mom sealed the deal on that one because she bought LB these really cute boots just in case it snowed. So, of course, it didn't snow. The day after we got back from Oklahoma all the snow was still here so it was time for LB to finally get the chance to play in the snow. It's a little surprising that just a few days ago LB had his first experience with snow. We live in Ohio for goodness sake! LB's first winter home we got a ton of snow but he was still just a baby and wasn't even walking yet so playing in the snow wasn't really an option. I know some parents plop their babies in the snow and take a picture but I'm not a snow person so even though that probably would have been a cute picture I opted out for my own warmth. Last year, I think all we got was a dusting or two. But all of that snow was waiting for us when we got home this year. D set out in the snow first to start clearing the driveway and I got to work on bundling up LB. He was a sport about it considering he isn't usually a fan of the whole getting dressed process. Once he got outside he was initially hesitant about stepping in areas where D hadn't shoveled. So he explored the snow from the comfort of our walkway for a while before venturing out. Sadly, the snow was super powdery and that made it really hard to build anything. LB asked me several times if we could make a snowman and I had to demonstrate that the snow just wouldn't stay together well enough to make one. We did manage to make a few, small snowballs and LB loved that, which isn't surprising since he loves to throw anything and everything. He threw some at me and thought that was hilarious. At one point he tried to climb the little incline in our front yard and made it about halfway up and said, "No me think this really safe." Ha! Always the cautious one. He lasted about 30 minutes. I thought that was pretty good. I think if it had been easier to make snowballs or if we could have made a snowman then he would have lasted longer. However, ever since I've asked him if he wants to play in the snow again, without hesitation, he's said, "No." I can't say it disappoints me. Thanks to my awesome new gloves from my sister I was able to snap a few pics of LB without totally freezing my hands off. First, you should admire my new gloves. They have changed my life.

Okay, now you can see pictures of LB.

As cute as he looked and as much as I like his new boots, my fingers are crossed that we are done with snow for 2013.