Let's Make Music Together

Last week we attended LB's final music class of the year. We've been going every Monday since the fall. The program, Music Together, is a 10 week course and the new sessions don't start until January. I cried. Yep, you read that right. The teacher was singing the goodbye song and before I could stop them tears started rolling down my cheeks. I felt so lame but I couldn't help myself. This has been one of the greatest things LB and I have done together. Even now as I type, I want to cry. I'm not sure if it's the brillance of the program itself, or the amazing teacher or simply the power music can have on our souls but LB and I both loved every minute of every class. What it probably comes down to is that I feel immensely grateful to participate in a program like Music Together and to see my son so happy and thriving. Music takes hold of him in a way that nothing else does. Those 45 minutes of music class bring him so much joy that he is either smiling, carefully observing the teacher or dancing the entire time. Watching him participate so willingly and happily each week has been such a gift. In the end, I imagine it was that deep sense of gratitude that caused the tears to flow.

LB fell in love with the teacher, Leigh, at the very first class. I did too. He brings her name up several times a day and has since the moment she picked up her guitar and started to sing, "Hello Everybody." She has a way of making you feel comfortable right from the start. And it turned out we shared some connections that would surface over the first couple of sessions. A few weeks into the class, Leigh mentioned that she would be heading out of state to visit family so we weren't going to have class the following week. She explained that her parents live in Kenya, where her father is a physician, and this would be her only chance this year to see them. It hadn't come up yet that LB was born in Ethiopia so after class I told her and we were both excited that we shared the bond of Africa. We chatted a bit about some unique experiences of being in Africa and how hard it is to explain how poverty, joy, hope and despair all live side by side to people who haven't been there. And how being there really makes you question all "the stuff" we cling to here in the States when our friends in Africa clearly find happiness without. Then Leigh turned to LB and looked him in the eye and said, "We are so glad you are here." It was not in an "America is better and you are better off here" kind of way but in a sincere "I am so glad to know you and to be making music with you" kind of way. I almost cried then. It turns out that our connection to Leigh didn't stop there. A few weeks later, she told us a story about going to her college reunion. The point of her story was how things were going okay and she was having nice conversations with people but it wasn't until the music came on and people started dancing that really paved the way for  the fun to begin and for memories to be made. However, I only half heard her story at that point because I got such an overwhelming feeling that we shared the same alma mater. I knew Earlham's reunion was that weekend and I'm sure several colleges have reunions in the fall. But I just felt with 100% certainty that she went to Earlham. I just couldn't shake that Earlham vibe. After class, I asked her and when "Earlham" came out of her mouth I just wanted to hug her. It's not everyday you meet someone who went to your teeny tiny but incredibly unique college in Eastern Indiana. Leigh is amazing and is definitely a huge part of what makes music class so enjoyable.

Clearly, the other part is the music itself. Music Together provides you with a CD of a collection of 25 songs. They give you two of them so you can have one playing in the car and the other at home. We'll get a new song collection at the next session. And they aren't songs like the itsy bitsy spider but are songs I don't mind listening to in the car even if LB isn't with me. You don't sing all the same songs at every class but Leigh mixes it up each class while still following a similar pattern. I actually wasn't aware there was a pattern until LB pointed it out me around week 3. Yes, he's smarter and more observant than I am. Leigh brings out various instruments throughout class and there is a lot of movement and dancing as well. During the free dance, Leigh will usually pick a song that the parents will enjoy too. Leigh is quick to point out that the kids don't have to be participating in an obvious way to still be learning and benefitting from the music. There are several kids who run around or roll on the floor and don't seem to be listening. However, I was with one of those kids at the park the other day and he was on the swing and was clear as day, in the sweetest voice, singing one of the songs from music class. The connections in the brain are being made just by being there.

One of the things we do in every class is that the second to last song is a lullaby song. The two lullaby songs in the most recent collection were Shenandoah and Shady Grove. She chose Shenandoah for the last class. Leigh turns off the lights and encourages you to cuddle or rock or rub your child's back. LB and I were on the floor, he was curled up and I was rubbing his back and I started to think about how wonderful that moment in class is for attachment. And then I realized it wasn't just confined to that moment but that actually the entire 45 minutes of singing and dancing together is all about attachment. I started to have some regret that we didn't do something like this much sooner. Even though I feel like our attachment went pretty smoothly it still would have been wonderful and helpful, especially given LB's love of music. If you have the opportunity to do this with your child then I couldn't encourage you more. I wish I had thought of music more as an attachment tool in the beginning. Thankfully, attachment is an ongoing process and we are lucky to be doing this now. So on this last day of November, I am especially thankful for music.

"Music in the soul can be heard by the universe."
-Lao Tzu

Pre-school Gymnastics

We are very lucky to be close to a few community centers that have a lot of great offerings for young kids. Most of them are really reasonably priced and I plan on taking full advantage this winter. I like having some structure to our day and I think LB does too. This winter we have an activity that gets us out of the house every morning except Fridays. It's a good system and I plan on sticking with it.

A few weeks ago, I signed LB up for a pre-school gymnastics at the rec center that is 5 minutes from our house. It's a 6 week course and only cost $25. I figured even if it was awful and boring then I was only out $25. My hope was that it would give LB some confidence in his gross motor skills and be a way to use some energy during these cold months. LB is actually quite coordinated and strong but his cautious nature has held him back from exploring his physical abilities. As you might have guessed, LB was a little hesitant to go. The whole drive there he kept saying, "Me no go to nastics class." I kept telling him he would love it and that we were going. As soon as we walked in the gym, LB was no longer singing that tune. The teacher sets up some equipment for the kids to play with for the first 20 minutes of class. Then they do a circle time, which consists of being led through some stretching and singing songs that involve movement. Next they do a new skill and the teacher has them line up and each kid gets a turn. The first week it was doing a "pencil roll" down a ramp and last week it was walking across a low balance beam and yesterday she helped them flip their legs over a bar. Of course, getting the kids to line up can be a challenge but I think it's good practice and so far LB enjoys watching other kids do the skill so he doesn't mind waiting. They end with bringing out a big parachute and they make waves and a tent and get the opportunity to run under it while the parents have it lifted. LB won't do that part because it gets a little crazy and noisy (massive understatement!). I don't blame him. He hangs out with me and helps lift the parachute for the other kids. And in his defense, he isn't the only kid who opts out of the craziness. I tell myself it's because he is so smart.

The class is half over and I am ready to sign up again for January. I've already noticed a change in LB after just 3 classes. He is gaining confidence and is more willing to try new things. He's letting go of some fears. The first class he wouldn't let the teacher help him with the "pencil roll" and wanted me to do it. The second class it was the same thing. He wanted to hold my hand to walk the beam. I get it. I am his safe person and am happy to oblige. However, this week he completely surprised me. The instructor had a kid, who took the class before, demonstrate to hold on to the bar and lift their legs to the teachers hands. Then the teacher helped them flip their legs over and be upright on the bar. I thought to myself that there was no way LB was going to do it. A couple of kids went up, including one of his buddies from school, and everyone would clap after each kid tried it. The teacher said, "Okay, who is next?" And LB stands up, with all the confidence in the world, and walks right up to the teacher. I would venture to say that he strutted. I was in shock. He put his hands on the bar and she lifted him over. After he got down, he ran to me and shouted, "My did it!" It was awesome. Completely and totally awesome.

At his first class, I snapped some pictures of LB so I could show D the things we did in class. They aren't the best but you get the idea.