First Dentist

At LB's three year well visit in January, our pediatrician told us to go ahead and schedule his first visit to the dentist. Did I mention that was in January? Well, I put it off and put it off some more because that's how I roll when I am nervous about something. I kept telling myself that as long as he goes at some point before he is four then it's fine. I actually do that think that is true but I would be lying if I didn't own up to some avoidance behavior. When my mom planned her visit for June, I decided that was the time. I thought LB would do better with her there and let's face it I thought I might need to hold her hand too. I have been dreading LB's first dentist appointment since the day I realized he had some oral sensitivities and defensiveness. I kept thinking to myself, "No way is he going to let a dentist any where near his mouth. He will just have to go his whole life without seeing the dentist." It was a long process for us to even get LB comfortable with a toothbrush in his mouth and we worked on that in our final sessions of occupational therapy. During his twos, he did get better. He also started letting us give him medicine and got less and less defensive. But I still saw potential for disaster despite the signs that it might be okay.

In the weeks leading up to the appointment, I started talking to LB about the dentist. I explained it was like going to see a doctor but they would only be looking at his teeth. We talked about how they would count his teeth and clean them. My mom got him a book, Molly Goes to the Dentist, and we read that several times. We happened to bump into our dentist, who is also our friend, at the Memorial Day Parade. LB has met him several times before, as he is a fellow Ethiopian adoptive parent, but I had never explained to LB that he was a dentist. I had actually talked to our friend about LB several times and he assured me not to worry and if LB couldn't do it then we would try again in a few months. It's nice to have a understanding and sympathetic friend who also happens be to a dentist.

The morning of the big day LB started to put up a fight. As he usually does, he asked if we were going to the "tiny airport" and I told him that we were going to the dentist. That got a big, fat "NO!" Can you blame him? So we talked and talked some more and came up with a plan. The appointment wasn't until 10am so I told him we could go to the "tiny airport" for a little bit, then go to the dentist and then if he did a good job we could go to the store and buy a new plane. He accepted that deal. (We make a lot of deals around here. He is one of the best negotiators I know.) As we were pulling out of the driveway he said, "Mommy, first we are going to the tiny airport. Then the dentist and then to the store. Do you understand my words?" My mom and I almost lost it. I told him that I understood.

When we arrived LB was in good spirits thanks to several jets we saw at the airport and he had his teeth filled with popcorn. Oops. Probably the worst snack you could have before going to the dentist. They called him back right away and he was clearly nervous but holding it together. The dental hygienist did a fabulous job with him. She let him touch everything and explained each step a long the way. LB loves to see and touch things before they go anywhere near the rest of the body so this was a great approach for him. And he did it! The whole check up! She slowly eased him into each step and he complied with each one. He was so brave I could hardly stand it. My mom snapped a few photos of the visit.

Can you see that his buddy, Mousie, made the visit too? So precious. His face in that first photo makes me sad because you can tell he is so nervous. But he really did awesome. I was flying high all day. Well, I was mostly flying high. Our dentist thinks LB will be making his first trip to the orthodontist at age 7. Did I mention LB only has 19 teeth instead of the 20 they are supposed to have? Yeah. He's got lots of dental work in his future. Oh well. This was a big milestone and I was so proud of him!

His Happy Place

Every morning LB asks me the same question and before I can answer he states his opinion. He usually asks within 15 minutes or so of being awake. It goes something like this.

LB: "Mommy, where are we going today?"

Me: "Ummm." (Because I have been awake for 15 minutes and have maybe had 1 sip of coffee."

LB: "Let's go to the tiny airport." (He refers to the OSU airport as the "tiny airport" and the Columbus airport is the "big airport." He keeps things simple.)

Every morning. This is not an exaggeration. He is 100% obsessed. I love that he has a passion and something that brings him so much joy but it does get old. But there is no denying that it is his happy place. They have converted their old control tower to a great little room with a table and chairs so the general public can come and watch planes take off and land. You get a perfect view of the runway and LB brings several of his little toy planes and lines them up on the ledge of the window. They have a little cabinet with some brochures and LB sits there content as can be. Unless it's a slow day and then he incessantly asks, "Where are the jets?" "Is that one taking off?" Several of the workers there know him by name and know that he loves the private jets, as opposed to the smaller prop planes that are used for flight lessons. So whenever they see him they check their computers to see what's coming and going. D even found an app that lets us see what's on the schedule to take off and land. It seems that not everything makes it on to the schedule but it's a good indicator if it's going to be quiet or busy. We have been there more times than I can count this summer and he's gotten to do some pretty cool stuff. 

Earlier in the summer, there was an event hosted by the boy scouts for kids ages 7 - 12. We went. Because LB totally passes for 7. They were letting the kids take rides in the smaller propeller planes. We knew LB wouldn't get to do that but we did get to go in the hangar, which was a treat for LB. D took LB right to the edge of the hangar so LB got a great view of the runway and the planes they were using. One of the OSU flight students noticed LB's excitement and asked him if he wanted to sit in one of the planes they had on display in the hangar. Very sweet. LB was thrilled.

My mom took him to the airport when she was visiting in June and sweet talked her way into one of the hangars. LB made friends that day with a high school kid who is learning to fly. We've seen him there a few times since and LB always gets excited. LB got to check out the cock pit that day as well. (Same shirt. Different visit. I promise. I just really like that shirt.)

I have a billion pictures of LB either sitting on the cabinet or standing by the ledge in the tower. Look a these two photos and then envision that times a billion taking up space on my phone.

At some point in June, we were at the "tiny airport" and bumped into D's good friend from high school, who gradated from the OSU flight school. He had his younger cousin with him and was going to show him around so we got to tag along. LB got to go on the part of the runway where they keep some of the propeller planes parked and sit in them. I didn't take any pictures because I was too worried about him actually running towards the runway. Then we got to go in one of the corporate hangars and see a bunch of super fancy jets. (No pictures allowed in there.) I was afraid I was never going to get him out of there. LB loves planes that have the wings that turn up at the end. He calls them "flat wings" which is a little weird since they aren't flat. But whatever. So he was "teaching" the guy from the flight school about the "flat wings." (I was not at all embarrassed.) But the flight student then gave LB the run down on why some planes have wings like that and I wish I could have taken a picture of LB staring at him so intently and in awe. LB then came home that night and explained to D that the "flat wings" help keep the air from pushing on the wings and they go faster. I was impressed. He may not listen very well at soccer but when it comes to planes he listens.

When my mom was visiting she helped LB line up all his toy planes and took this great picture of him. It's one of my current favorites.

We've accumulated a few magazines from the "tiny airport" that the ladies there have given LB and he'll sit and look through them so seriously and intently. He talks about the one he likes and wants and whether or not he can carry them. The answer to that is always "no." 

He says when he is bigger he wants to be a pilot. Who knows. He's three. But I love that it makes him so happy and that we have a place that is 10 minutes from our house that he hopes to go to every day. Well, maybe I wish he didn't ask every day.

Big Reactions

Whenever I receive a great piece of parenting advice I feel as though it is my duty to share it. Like it would be selfish of me to keep it to myself. You are welcome in advance. One of the things that we've always struggled with is how to deal with LB's occasional overreaction to situations. He has been on high alert for as long as I can remember. I am not a trained therapist but I do think he has a pretty intense fight or flight response. It should also be noted that if I am being honest with myself then I also have this issue at times and would consider my central nervous system to be highly sensitive. (My parents are probably nodding their heads and laughing as they read this.) So I may not be a trained professional but I have a lot of personal experience. I'm never for certain if some of his reactions are due to sensory sensitivities or if it's just some physiological thing. But whatever it is it happens and it's hard to manage. D and I both really have to watch our own reactions to stressful situations because LB is so in tune with what we say or what we do and he can be easily upset or frightened. For example, we were driving home from D's parents a few weeks ago and there was a car on the highway that started to have major problems. I am not sure if two tires blew but it was moving erratically and was trying to pull over. I gasped loudly and LB immediately started sobbing. I think he saw the car as well and then my reaction sent him into freak out mode. I think I've gotten a lot better at not gasping but I still do it from time to time and the second it comes out of my mouth I regret it and start cursing myself. Sometimes LB will barely bump his leg and will start crying and screaming like he fell off the roof. The reaction doesn't match the situation is the best way I can describe it. I think he has gotten a lot better, especially as his noise sensitivities have decreased and his language skills have increased, but it's still there. At times I get sad and wish he could be more laid back and worry less about things. He's only a kid. But some would say being highly sensitive can have it's advantages too. Ahem.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs for parenting advice, One Thankful Mom, and she posted about her son, who also has sensory processing issues, and a tip they have used to manage his extreme reactions. Jackpot! She framed it as big problems versus small problems. So I started using it. LB would fall outside in the grass and start to get mad. I would tell him, "It's a small problem so you don't have to worry." Or he would drop a toy and start to scream and I would say, "It's a small problem. Let's just pick it up." And I just started constantly talking about how things were small problems. It only took a few days and he was completely on board. He would start to overreact and I would tell him, "LB, it's a small problem. We can fix it." And the crying or screaming would stop and he would repeat, "It's a small problem." He also has started asking me, "Mommy, is it a small problem?" Yesterday, I banged my elbow on the wall and he asked, "Are you okay? Is it a small problem?" And I assured him that it was and he went about his business. He even created his own level of a problem, which he refers to as a "super tiny problem." He says it in a high pitched voice and it's adorable and sweet. I talk about how running into the street is a big problem or trying to climb the fridge is a big problem. It's been helpful in working on a behavior issues we've been having with him running too far away in situations that aren't safe. I try to give him lots of room to run but there are times when he needs to stay close or hold hands and he struggles with that. Yesterday, we were at the mall before meeting LB's old OT for lunch. (I love that we have become friends and still see each other even though LB is no longer in therapy.) I wasn't making him hold my hand because I wanted him to run some energy off before we went inside the restaurant. But he got too far and I asked him to freeze and he didn't. I caught up to him and explained it would be a BIG problem if we lost each other. And then we practiced freezing. He would walk ahead a little and I would say "freeze." And he would stop and either wait for me to catch up or run back closer to me. We did it several times and he listened very well. I heaped on the positive reenforcement and you could tell from his smile that he was proud of himself.

I have to think that small problems versus big problems would be helpful for a lot of kids, even for ones who aren't on high alert. Let's face it, most toddlers overreact from time to time. It's kind of what they are famous for. Give it a try. Let me know if you find it to be helpful.

LB and his OT. Two Angels.