December Recap

It's been a busy but very fun month! This was the first year that LB started to understand some of the concepts of Christmas. Last year he recognized Santa and would say, "ho ho ho." That was it. This year there was so much more excitement and wonder. I really enjoyed December through the eyes of an almost three year old. Right after Thanksgiving we started putting out some of our decorations. We opted out of a tree this year but I think this will be our last year doing that. We knew we wouldn't be home for the week around Christmas so we decided not to mess with it but seeing how excited LB was about the tree at my parents made me regret that decision. Next year we will have a tree! Any time we saw a Christmas tree he would exclaim, "Look at that Christmas tree!" But we still had fun decorating the house with some twinkly lights, an advent calendar and some other holiday decor.

LB loved choosing a new doll for each day of the month and would cheer almost every day that Christmas was "getting closer!" The Ethiopia doll or "Hipia doll" as LB would say occupied the number 1 spot all month.

At the beginning of the month we met some friends at a holiday festival where they had a Santa and merry go round and a little train ride for the kids. I'm not sure there has ever been a cuter Santa photo. 

Doesn't Santa look pleased to see LB? LB asked for a "really, big airplane." Shock. 

Towards the middle of the month, we took LB to an event called A Tuba Christmas. It is what it sounds like - a bunch of tubas playing Christmas songs. Given LB's love of music we figured this event would not disappoint. He was a little stunned by the sounds TONS of tubas made but he enjoyed it and still talks about it. For several days afterwards, he kept asking if he could have a tuba. And he still talks about how the musicians raised their tubas at the end of some of the songs. He also likes to pretend to conduct musical instruments and then take a bow. It's pretty cute.

D and I really enjoyed Tuba Christmas and I am hoping it can become an annual Christmas tradition. (Yes, I am still obsessed with photo collages.)

The day before we were supposed to fly to Tulsa to be with my family, we made a crazy decision and decided to drive instead. There was snowy weather headed our way so D suggested we get out ahead of it and not risk cancelled or delayed flights. It ended up being a good decision but was very unlike us. We aren't typically fly by the seat of our pants type of people. LB did pretty well and the drive provided for an unexpected and hilarious meet up on the Oklahoma turnpike with another Ethiopia adoptive family I only know through blogging. It is worthy of it's own post. (Teaser - we met THIS wonderful and adorable family.) Truly amazing! More to come.

Once we got to Tulsa, LB had a blast with my family. My cousins from Kansas City came down for a visit and that was definitely a highlight. LB and my cousin created a new game called Drum Ball. Watch for it as a possible future Olympic Sport.

At one point, all of us were gathered in the family room and LB shouts, "Everybody up! Everybody Dance!" He's pretty hard to say no to so we all obliged. He's got some legit moves.

We have a bit of a tradition running for taking LB to see Santa near my parents' house on Christmas Eve. So even though he had already seen Santa we made a last minute visit to see him again. Thankfully, LB still asked for a "really, big airplane." Whew. As always, his personality shines through in photos.

We also went to the candlelight service at church on Christmas Eve and LB was truly an angel through the whole service. D reminded me to keep that memory close when LB was throwing a fit on the drive home. I also took possibly my favorite photo of LB from 2012 at the service. In my opinion, the look of awe and wonder in his face truly captures the spirit of Christmas. I love that boy of mine.

Christmas morning did not disappoint and LB got his "really, big airplane." However, we think his favorite gift was from Aunt Bebe. She got him a trumpet and he plays with it constantly. 

Clearly, he is imparting his own style to the art of playing the trumpet. The next big thing will be to play the trumpet upside down.

Thankfully, we survived the long drive back to Ohio despite driving through some nasty snow.

I hope your holidays were filled with joy and cheers to a happy new year!

Christmas Tree Craft

In case you aren't friends with me on Facebook or Instagram, then I thought I would share this totally awesome Christmas craft that LB and I did yesterday. I got the idea from one of my favorite websites, Play at Home Mom. Yesterday was rainy and dreary and the playdate we had scheduled fell through due to sickness so I decided it was the perfect day for this activity. I turned on some Christmas music and asked LB if he wanted to make a Christmas tree. He started jumping up and down and saying, "Yay." He was ready before he even knew what we were going to do. I love that he enjoys art. Finding creative things for us to try doesn't always come naturally to me but I had a feeling this one would be a hit. Here is what you need:

1. Toothpicks
2. Gum drops
3. Foam Cone (I got one from a craft store and it was only $2.)

That's it. Perfect for me. If you are more ambitious than me then you can let your kid paint the foam cone green. LB still can't totally be trusted with paint. They do paint at school and I let him do finger paints outside but he tends to get carried away. So I let him use a crayon. It didn't work that great but it gave the cone a green sparkle. Then I pulled out the gum drops and toothpicks and showed him how to poke the gum drop and then push it into the tree. That was all he needed and he was off and running.

I love watching his little hands work. He gets pretty serious about it. What made this so great was that he could do it without any help and was so proud of what he was creating. He would tell me what color he was going to do next and as it got more full he had to brainstorm about where to put his hand so he could push the toothpick into the foam. I also think the addition of Christmas music really helped set the mood. He even said, "My love Christmas." And at times he would pretend to sing along to the music. He's such a little performer.

Once he had the one foam cone pretty full he asked to make another one. Sadly, I only bought one but promised him we would do it again. In an effort to keep things real around here, I should disclose that we had a little toothpick incident when we were done. I turned my back to throw a few things away and before I could stop him LB had dumped all the remaining toothpicks on the floor. There were some still on the table and he decided those needed to be on the floor too. Awesome. Thankfully, he was quick to agree to help me clean them all up. Sometimes I think he makes a mess just for the enjoyment of cleaning it up. Sigh. But it was totally worth it. The second D walked in the door, LB ran to him and exclaimed, "My make a Christmas tree! Look Daddy!" He was so proud. The tree is our new centerpiece. Let me know if you try it. So fun!

Let's Make Music Together

Last week we attended LB's final music class of the year. We've been going every Monday since the fall. The program, Music Together, is a 10 week course and the new sessions don't start until January. I cried. Yep, you read that right. The teacher was singing the goodbye song and before I could stop them tears started rolling down my cheeks. I felt so lame but I couldn't help myself. This has been one of the greatest things LB and I have done together. Even now as I type, I want to cry. I'm not sure if it's the brillance of the program itself, or the amazing teacher or simply the power music can have on our souls but LB and I both loved every minute of every class. What it probably comes down to is that I feel immensely grateful to participate in a program like Music Together and to see my son so happy and thriving. Music takes hold of him in a way that nothing else does. Those 45 minutes of music class bring him so much joy that he is either smiling, carefully observing the teacher or dancing the entire time. Watching him participate so willingly and happily each week has been such a gift. In the end, I imagine it was that deep sense of gratitude that caused the tears to flow.

LB fell in love with the teacher, Leigh, at the very first class. I did too. He brings her name up several times a day and has since the moment she picked up her guitar and started to sing, "Hello Everybody." She has a way of making you feel comfortable right from the start. And it turned out we shared some connections that would surface over the first couple of sessions. A few weeks into the class, Leigh mentioned that she would be heading out of state to visit family so we weren't going to have class the following week. She explained that her parents live in Kenya, where her father is a physician, and this would be her only chance this year to see them. It hadn't come up yet that LB was born in Ethiopia so after class I told her and we were both excited that we shared the bond of Africa. We chatted a bit about some unique experiences of being in Africa and how hard it is to explain how poverty, joy, hope and despair all live side by side to people who haven't been there. And how being there really makes you question all "the stuff" we cling to here in the States when our friends in Africa clearly find happiness without. Then Leigh turned to LB and looked him in the eye and said, "We are so glad you are here." It was not in an "America is better and you are better off here" kind of way but in a sincere "I am so glad to know you and to be making music with you" kind of way. I almost cried then. It turns out that our connection to Leigh didn't stop there. A few weeks later, she told us a story about going to her college reunion. The point of her story was how things were going okay and she was having nice conversations with people but it wasn't until the music came on and people started dancing that really paved the way for  the fun to begin and for memories to be made. However, I only half heard her story at that point because I got such an overwhelming feeling that we shared the same alma mater. I knew Earlham's reunion was that weekend and I'm sure several colleges have reunions in the fall. But I just felt with 100% certainty that she went to Earlham. I just couldn't shake that Earlham vibe. After class, I asked her and when "Earlham" came out of her mouth I just wanted to hug her. It's not everyday you meet someone who went to your teeny tiny but incredibly unique college in Eastern Indiana. Leigh is amazing and is definitely a huge part of what makes music class so enjoyable.

Clearly, the other part is the music itself. Music Together provides you with a CD of a collection of 25 songs. They give you two of them so you can have one playing in the car and the other at home. We'll get a new song collection at the next session. And they aren't songs like the itsy bitsy spider but are songs I don't mind listening to in the car even if LB isn't with me. You don't sing all the same songs at every class but Leigh mixes it up each class while still following a similar pattern. I actually wasn't aware there was a pattern until LB pointed it out me around week 3. Yes, he's smarter and more observant than I am. Leigh brings out various instruments throughout class and there is a lot of movement and dancing as well. During the free dance, Leigh will usually pick a song that the parents will enjoy too. Leigh is quick to point out that the kids don't have to be participating in an obvious way to still be learning and benefitting from the music. There are several kids who run around or roll on the floor and don't seem to be listening. However, I was with one of those kids at the park the other day and he was on the swing and was clear as day, in the sweetest voice, singing one of the songs from music class. The connections in the brain are being made just by being there.

One of the things we do in every class is that the second to last song is a lullaby song. The two lullaby songs in the most recent collection were Shenandoah and Shady Grove. She chose Shenandoah for the last class. Leigh turns off the lights and encourages you to cuddle or rock or rub your child's back. LB and I were on the floor, he was curled up and I was rubbing his back and I started to think about how wonderful that moment in class is for attachment. And then I realized it wasn't just confined to that moment but that actually the entire 45 minutes of singing and dancing together is all about attachment. I started to have some regret that we didn't do something like this much sooner. Even though I feel like our attachment went pretty smoothly it still would have been wonderful and helpful, especially given LB's love of music. If you have the opportunity to do this with your child then I couldn't encourage you more. I wish I had thought of music more as an attachment tool in the beginning. Thankfully, attachment is an ongoing process and we are lucky to be doing this now. So on this last day of November, I am especially thankful for music.

"Music in the soul can be heard by the universe."
-Lao Tzu

Pre-school Gymnastics

We are very lucky to be close to a few community centers that have a lot of great offerings for young kids. Most of them are really reasonably priced and I plan on taking full advantage this winter. I like having some structure to our day and I think LB does too. This winter we have an activity that gets us out of the house every morning except Fridays. It's a good system and I plan on sticking with it.

A few weeks ago, I signed LB up for a pre-school gymnastics at the rec center that is 5 minutes from our house. It's a 6 week course and only cost $25. I figured even if it was awful and boring then I was only out $25. My hope was that it would give LB some confidence in his gross motor skills and be a way to use some energy during these cold months. LB is actually quite coordinated and strong but his cautious nature has held him back from exploring his physical abilities. As you might have guessed, LB was a little hesitant to go. The whole drive there he kept saying, "Me no go to nastics class." I kept telling him he would love it and that we were going. As soon as we walked in the gym, LB was no longer singing that tune. The teacher sets up some equipment for the kids to play with for the first 20 minutes of class. Then they do a circle time, which consists of being led through some stretching and singing songs that involve movement. Next they do a new skill and the teacher has them line up and each kid gets a turn. The first week it was doing a "pencil roll" down a ramp and last week it was walking across a low balance beam and yesterday she helped them flip their legs over a bar. Of course, getting the kids to line up can be a challenge but I think it's good practice and so far LB enjoys watching other kids do the skill so he doesn't mind waiting. They end with bringing out a big parachute and they make waves and a tent and get the opportunity to run under it while the parents have it lifted. LB won't do that part because it gets a little crazy and noisy (massive understatement!). I don't blame him. He hangs out with me and helps lift the parachute for the other kids. And in his defense, he isn't the only kid who opts out of the craziness. I tell myself it's because he is so smart.

The class is half over and I am ready to sign up again for January. I've already noticed a change in LB after just 3 classes. He is gaining confidence and is more willing to try new things. He's letting go of some fears. The first class he wouldn't let the teacher help him with the "pencil roll" and wanted me to do it. The second class it was the same thing. He wanted to hold my hand to walk the beam. I get it. I am his safe person and am happy to oblige. However, this week he completely surprised me. The instructor had a kid, who took the class before, demonstrate to hold on to the bar and lift their legs to the teachers hands. Then the teacher helped them flip their legs over and be upright on the bar. I thought to myself that there was no way LB was going to do it. A couple of kids went up, including one of his buddies from school, and everyone would clap after each kid tried it. The teacher said, "Okay, who is next?" And LB stands up, with all the confidence in the world, and walks right up to the teacher. I would venture to say that he strutted. I was in shock. He put his hands on the bar and she lifted him over. After he got down, he ran to me and shouted, "My did it!" It was awesome. Completely and totally awesome.

At his first class, I snapped some pictures of LB so I could show D the things we did in class. They aren't the best but you get the idea.

His Safety Book

Back in September, LB started going to pre-school one morning a week. It is a Parents' Day Out program for two year olds. The idea is that it will be a good introduction to pre-school and that it will make the transition easier when he is three and ready to do school several mornings a week. I wasn't sure how LB would do. He's done great staying at our house with my parents, D's parents and his babysitter. But he is comfortable here at home and going to school is definitely a whole new ball game. I took him several times over the summer just to see the classroom and to give us an opportunity to talk about school and how he will stay with the teacher and play with other kids. I wanted to make sure I found a pre-school that wouldn't be pushy about the parents leaving right away and would work with us in making this transition. When I walked into the preschool I picked for LB, I knew I found the right place. The director was amazing and told me that they have an open door policy and she confided that her oldest daughter really struggled with separation anxiety so she understood how hard it is from first hand experience. I felt pretty confident that if LB was given the opportunity to get comfortable with me close by that he would be okay. Here he is on his official first day.

All summer we watched a show on PBS called Sid the Science Kid. At the beginning of each show, Sid is home for a bit in the morning and then his mom drives him to school. Since LB is obsessed with finding things that are the same, I kept telling him that when he went to school he would be "same as Sid." He latched on to that and I would always make a big deal about Sid getting picked up at school and then going back home. The day arrived and I prepped LB for it a ton. We talked about the schedule and how they would do circle time and craft time and play in the motor room. I took him inside the class and got him settled and then mentioned to one of the teachers that I was leaving. I told LB that we were going to be "same as Sid and that I would be back." LB gave me a kiss and waved and I left. It felt too good to be true. Well.... it was. Several of the moms decided to hang out in the nursery initially just to make sure everything was okay before leaving the building. About 20 minutes later another mom left the classroom and her kid started screaming big time. My heart rate picked up a bit because I knew that the one thing that could derail it for LB would be loud screaming from another kid. He's not a fan of other kids screaming despite his ability for loud screaming. He also feeds off other kids and once that kid started screaming I got a bad feeling about LB. A few minutes later the director came in the nursery to get me. LB had pulled himself together when I walked in the room but was sniffling and clearly upset. He saw me and as he reached his arms toward me he said with such relief, "Me get sad and Mommy come back." My heart was a puddle on the floor. 

In the end, it took a few weeks for LB to adjust. After another failed attempt at leaving, I got the idea to make a book for LB. I remembered someone posting once about providing her kid with photos of his various caretakers during the week. So I decided to take pictures of LB with his teachers and then put those pictures in a book with other people he knows and loves like D and me, his grandparents, my sister, our neighbors, close friends and his OT. I believe pretty strongly that this book ended up being the key to our success. We also worked on a few other catch phrases. "Mommy always comes back." And, "Teachers keep kids safe." LB will scroll through his picture book and say stuff like, "Greema keeps me safe." He also likes to show the pictures of his teachers to other people and tell them their names. LB checks in with me several times a day and repeats, "Mommy always comes back." And I assure him that he is right. It's very sweet and a little sad but mostly sweet. We've had two weeks in a row of successful drop offs at school. The first successful day I was overcome with how proud I was of him. It felt like a major accomplishment. And as my mom said, it's a good thing for kids to learn. They can have other trusted people in their life and learn that their parents will come back. I keep the book out in the living room so that I am reminded to show it to LB a few times a day. 

Here are a few pictures of his safety book.

It's fun to hear his interpretation of the morning and to see the art work he has created. I knew LB would get there and that it would just take some time. And let's face it, I needed time to transition too. 

It feels pretty good to be so attached to this little guy.

Imaginary World

Over the past several months, LB has really started expanding his imaginary world. It's been so fun to see the things that he likes to pretend to do on a day to day basis and to watch those pretend games become more elaborate. He also has a few, what appear to be, imaginary friends. One of those characters is "Happydoo." I have no idea how LB came up with his name but all of a sudden he started talking about "Happydoo." At first, it was a stalling tactic. I had to change Happydoo's diaper before his and I had to put Happydoo to bed. But now we sometimes play ball with Happydoo or we share pretend food with Happydoo. It should be noted that Happydoo is a rather small fellow. According to LB, he fits in the palm of your hand. I love that one of his imaginary friend's names revolves around the word "happy." I think that is pretty indicative of his personality. There is also an elusive "the man" in LB's imaginary world. Sometimes I think "the man" is a little creepy. But in LB's world he seems to be mostly a nice man. This man first showed up in the bath, which is perhaps why I think he is on the sketchy side. LB told me that the man was "messy and dirty." Awesome. Let's hope he doesn't go to school and tell his teachers about the dirty man in his bath. The man makes his way out of the bath as well. He likes to tickle our feet (again with the creepy) and sometimes he just comes along in whatever it is we are doing that day. So far he hasn't blamed any bad choices on either "the man" or "Happydoo." I'm sure that day is coming. LB did try and rat out of my sister once about a mark on the wall so he's perfectly capable of trying to escape consequences.

I try and snap pictures of some of his pretend play but he is usually on the move so it's tough. One of his favorite games to play is "marching band." He usually gets to be in the band and then he tells you to "say yay." So he marches along and plays an instrument and you wave and say "yay!" He also loves to incorporate his flags since we had them at both the Memorial Day and Fourth of July parades that we went to earlier this year.

Almost everyday we play in my car and pretend it is an airplane. We go through all the steps of putting on seat belts, taking off and landing. He likes to push the Hazard button and mess with the turn signals. My mom started this game with him when they were visiting and it has not lost its appeal. Then he likes to get out of the car and pretend to "run to Meemaw and Poppy." So we pretend we are at the airport and we run down the driveway and give pretend hugs. It's cute.

Often when I go to get him after his nap, he likes to pretend there is water surrounding his crib. He'll throw his stuffed friends into the water and I have to pull them out and dry them off. LB thinks this is hilarious.

He likes to "go to the store." He has his little shopping cart so I'll tell him things I need and he'll run down the driveway with his cart and get everything and come back. Then we do it over and over. I think he's ready for Supermarket Sweep. Do you remember that game show? Does that make me sound old?

Of course, each new stage brings it's own set of joys and challenges but I love all this pretend and imaginary stuff. I had an imaginary friend when I was little. Her name was Litty. But I couldn't say my "Ls" so it sounded like "Yitty." I am pretty sure she stuck around until my sister was born. D didn't have one but that isn't shocking because his younger brother was born before D was two so he had a playmate from the beginning. Not so secretly, I hope that Happydoo sticks with us for a while. I could do without "the man" but I'll leave it up to LB. Or we'll at least cross our fingers that he isn't dirty all the time. Did you have an imaginary friend?

Maggie S. Photography - Fall 2012

About two weeks ago, LB and I flew to Tulsa to spend a long weekend with my parents, my sister and my cousin. The trip was pretty low-key. We visited Tulsa's Air & Space Museum, met some friends at the park and just played at my parents' house. I was especially excited to see my sister so I could hug and congratulate her for successfully defending her dissertation. Dr. Abby!! Although, along with 20 other things, like diapers, a monitor and a phone charger, I forgot her card. Sigh. She forgave me. I didn't really have my act together. I did manage to pull it together and arrange what is becoming our annual photo session with Maggie S. Photography. Diapers? No. Photo Session? Yes. We met at a park on beautiful Sunday morning and she got some great shots of our boy! It's always impossible to decide which ones to share and print.   Maggie is so great with kids and she always does such a great job capturing LB's personality and all of his many faces and expressions. I picked ten of my favorite to share here. I did hold back a few of my most favorite for our Christmas card and possibly LB's birthday party invitation. It was challenging to convince LB to not hold his bunny and an airplane in every single shot. Looking through the photos, I am glad she ended up taking some with bunny and an airplane because that is who he is right now. We never leave the house without bunny and an airplane. So several years from now, when I look back on these photos, it will be nice to have that perfect representation of LB at two and a half! Thank you, Maggie! These photos are priceless!

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Wordless Wednesday

Collage Photos

I recently got a new app for my phone that allows me to make photo collages. I have become a tad obsessed with it. I am often taking photos with the thought of creating a collage later. But it's a good way to document an event. Here are my faves. Of course, they are all of LB.

 

My sister gave me the great idea to send LB outside with his magnifying glass to explore. He loved this. One of his favorite shows on TV is Sid the Science Kid and Sid often has his magnifying glass so LB kept saying, "Same as Sid!" We looked at rocks, spiders, ants, bees, grass, etc.

 

 

This time I got a fun idea from my friend, Katie. I made a big ball of play dough and then stuck uncooked spaghetti noodles into the ball. I gave LB a bowl of Cheerios and told him to make a tower. It's a good activity to work on fine motor skills because it takes some concentration and skill to thread the Cheerios through the noodle. LB's towers never got very tall because once he put a few on then he wanted to take them off and eat them. Eventually, the game turned into making porcupines with the play dough and noodles, which was entertaining too. I love watching his face when he is focusing on something.

 

 

Last Sunday, we met friends at an apple orchard about 30 minutes outside of Columbus. I wasn't sure what LB would think of it but he had a blast. It was good he had a buddy there because they walked up and down the rows of apples and had fun pulling them off the trees and pausing to take bites. It was a perfect fall morning and I am hoping this can be a new family tradition.

 

 

LB and I are currently spending a long weekend in Tulsa. It was LB's first time to fly since his airplane obsession really kicked in and since receiving a suitcase from my mom. He was BEYOND excited to get to pull his own suitcase and to get on a purple airplane (Southwest) just like his toy airplane. I could not have asked for LB to do any better on the two flights. He was truly a rock star traveler. He even insisted on pulling his suitcase all the way through the terminal when we had to switch planes. He occasionally got in someone's way but no one seemed to case because he was so cute. And watching him run through security to give my parents a hug was just about the best thing ever.

 



"You Are What They Need."

Earlier this summer, I attended a parenting workshop at my friend's church. It was about dealing with your own fears as a parent and with your kid's fears. This workshop was designed for me. I've been known to let my fears and anxiety get the best of me and LB is definitely not one of those fearless kids. It always makes me shake my head when I see a kid LB's age or even younger at a park climbing up high or going down a twisty, tunnel slide and the parent says, "he's fearless." That has not been my experience as a parent at all. LB is very thoughtful, cautious and aware of his surroundings. He often needs encouraging and pushing to try something new. He's an observer. He just started going down the twisty slides, "all by me self." The woman who ran the workshop told us she wanted us to remember to this one thing she was going to say. And if we didn't take away anything else from the session that was fine but we needed to hold on to this one thing. "You are what they need." She repeated it several times. "You are what they need." It really hit home with me. It's so easy to get overwhelmed and over think every situation. Keep it simple. I need that reminder over and over again.

I don't know about you but one of the parts about being a parent that perplexes me the most is when to push LB to try something he is afraid of and when to hold back. D has told me the story of his first soccer game several times. His mom was the coach and D did not want to go out on the field. In the end, his mom essentially had to drag him out on to the field to play. Soccer ended up being a huge part of D's life and he played all through college. Perhaps if his mom hadn't dragged him out on the field he would have worked up the courage on his own a few weeks or months later and everything still would have worked out. Who knows? But the point is that I think D looks back on that as a moment when he was grateful that his mom wouldn't take no for an answer and wouldn't let his fears win.

As an adoptive parent, I feel that I have had to put in the extra effort for LB to know that he is safe. We weren't there for him during those important early months of development. We weren't there to meet his every need as an infant and to develop what Dr. Purvis calls, "felt safety." In the first several months that we brought LB home we were the only ones to feed LB, put him to sleep, change his diaper, etc. He didn't understand with our words that we were his parents so we had to show him through our actions. I think that idea of "felt safety" is always at the back of my mind, which puts me more often than not in the don't push him category of dealing with fears. But it's a constant question running through my mind and I have a feeling that it never goes away, even when your kids are grown and out of the house.

When my parents were here in August we took LB to the zoo one day. They have a merry go round and LB usually shows interest in doing it. However, when you get close and in line he starts to back off and say he doesn't want to do it. The past couple of times I have convinced him to do it but he insists that we sit on the bench and not on a horse. When we went to the zoo with D's parents and LB's cousins over a year ago he got on the horse no problem. I am not sure if that is because his cousins did it so he felt like he needed to or if he just didn't have the maturity to be skeptical. However, ever since then he has refused to ride on the horse. This most recent visit was no different. We got in line, he didn't want to do it and I convinced him to sit on the bench.

As we went around and around, I talked to him about the horses. I explained they were nice and just went up and down. I also thought of what the woman said at the parenting workshop and so I said to him over and over, "Mommy keeps you safe." We finished, he said he had fun and we went to check out the gorillas. As we were walking back, we passed the merry go round again. LB said he wanted to do it and that he wanted to ride the horse. I assumed we would get close and he would change his mind. My mom said she would do it with him and he continued to say he wanted to ride the horse. So my mom put him on the horse and he smiled. A really big, proud smile. My mom said that he told her, "Me so happy." Needless to say, as they went around and around and LB waved and smiled at me each time, I cried and cried. I was so proud of him. I know it may seem minor but to watch him conquer something he's been wanting to do but was afraid of was truly magical.

There have been a few other instances since then when I've told him that, "Mommy keeps you safe." And he always repeats back to me, "Same as the merry go round." Clearly, it was just as big of a moment for him as it was for me. 

"You are what they need." 

A Mom Moment

My mom likes to tell the story of when she was working the evening shift at the library one night and my dad brought my sister and me downtown to visit her. She worked on the third floor of the main library and when we got to the top of the stairs my younger sister saw my mom sitting at the reference desk and made a beeline for her yelling, "Mommy!!!" My mom scooped her up and gave her a big hug. It was one of those moments that you dream about as you are in the waiting stage to be a mom. For some of us, that waiting stage can go on for quite some time and for others there isn't much waiting at all but I think you dream about those moments no matter what.

I had one of those moments a few weeks ago. We were invited to one of LB's friend's birthday party. His buddy, M, was also adopted from Ethiopia and was turning three. His parents set up a bunch of kiddie pools in their backyard and a big water slide and the kids ran about in their swimsuits playing in the water. It was a quintessential summer birthday party. After the kids had worn themselves out with all the water play, M's mom brought out the cupcakes so everyone could sing "Happy Birthday." I wrapped LB up in his towel and he sat in my lap. As everyone started singing, I realized that I was having one of those mom moments. I was sitting in the grass on a perfect summer evening and had my little, wet and shivering two year old all bundled in my lap. He loves the "Happy Birthday" song so he was all smiles and seemingly content as we sat in the grass and ate cupcakes. LB isn't really into sweets so he just took a few licks of the icing and then put an end to my moment. But it was so wonderful to allow life to stand still for a few minutes. I looked around, gave LB a little squeeze and let it all wash over me. I'm so grateful.

"Let us be silent, that we may hear the whisper of God."

Ralph Waldo Emerson