Back in February LB made a big transition but I was nervous to post about it because I feared he might revert back. However, that was several months ago and the transition seems permanent. We finally said goodbye to his bottles. It happened kind of naturally and very much on his terms, which I was really happy about. When we brought LB home at seven months of age we knew that we wouldn't be following any sort of typical bottle cut off schedule. However, at the time I definitely didn't envision using them until he was 2. A lot of things factored into using them longer than predicted. He was so tiny when we brought him home and the nannies at the orphanage were waking him in the middle of the night to feed him. It was the right decision because he really needed all the nourishment he could get. He continued with that schedule for about a year after being home. Luckily, it was a pretty easy process. Most nights LB would wake up and I would give him a bottle and then he would go right back down. Of course, I was not a fan of getting up almost every night but he needed it. Our pediatrician was also on board, which I know sometimes doesn't happen, and having her reassurance meant a lot. LB's OT also didn't push us to get rid of them and said that actually he probably got a lot of good sensory output from the sucking.
We also knew that bottle feeding and that time rocking together is really good for bonding and attachment. LB had a lot of anxiety surrounding his bottles the first month or so he was home. He would see the bottle and would cry and cry until it was safely in his mouth. But once it was in his mouth he was so calm and I really enjoyed that quiet time together. Dr. Purvis, author of "The Connected Child," talks a lot about how important it is to take the time to hold your child close and make eye contact. Since we missed out on the first 7 months of his babyhood, I really cherished that time to sit in his rocking chair and tell him over and over how much we love him. Everything stood still in those moments and LB was so peaceful. However, as his second birthday loomed I started to feel really self conscious about his bottle feeding. At that point he was only taking two a day. One was before afternoon nap and the other before bed at night. It was the perfect transition to sleep. I emailed some fellow adoptive moms about LB's bottle feeding just to see if others out there were in the same boat. I got a lot of encouragement not to worry about it or push LB to quit before he was ready. Many of those moms confirmed that their two year olds were also still on bottles. I breathed such a sigh of relief.
One of the moms reminded me to read the sections on bottle feeding in the book, "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child," by Patty Cogen. I own that book but had completely neglected to check it. There were a few sections on bottle feedings and they actually encouraged extended bottle feeding. I wish I had thought to check that book months ago to save myself hours of agonizing. She says, "A young child's sucking activates the vagus nerve, which in turn regulates the child's breathing into a smooth, slow pattern of inhaling and exhaling and slows the child's heart rate." She continues to say that "when a child associates sucking with a parent's voice, eye contact, and general presence, and eventually with a cuddly object, a foundation is laid for new soothing possibilities that do not rely on sucking. Infants suck on bottles and thumbs, preschoolers hang on to their favorite blankets or stuffed toys, and older children wear a favorite shirt day in and day out." Thankfully this part didn't apply to me but she did confirm that "most pediatricians and dentists see primarily non-adopted children, who have had lots of opportunities to develop their co-regulation; it is easy for them to overlook the special meaning of a bottle for an internationally adopted child." I found it all to be really fascinating and it was reassuring to think about LB's development through those steps. When we first brought him home we noticed that even when he didn't have a bottle he would make a sucking sound when he was tired and ready to fall asleep. He eventually latched on to a favorite blanket and the sucking sound changed to a motoring sound. Clearly, he was developing ways to soothe himself. Now he still has his blanket and I make sure we never leave the house without it. He rarely makes the motoring sound anymore although I do hear him doing it in the middle of the night occasionally. I'm not sure what it says about me since I am pretty sure I sucked my thumb past kindergarten but we won't go there.
We had been trying to give him milk through his sippy cup in the months leading up to his birthday but he would give you a funny look if there was milk in his sippy. The look said, "Hey! This is supposed to be water or juice. I don't drink milk out of this thing." Soon after LB's second birthday it seemed like he just wasn't interested in the bottles anymore, especially at night. He wanted to read books or play with toys. It took a while to get through the whole bottle so we started offering some of his milk in the sippy and some in his bottle. When it seemed like he was more comfortable with this sippy we tried one night to do all of the milk in the sippy. I told myself that if he asked for his bottle we would do that too but he didn't. It was a little harder to transition off at nap but a few weeks later he was fine with just his sippy then too. It took a little trial and error to come up with the right pre-nap routine but I think we are there now. It feels good. Bye bye bottles. I miss you but am glad my boy is comfortable without you.
We also knew that bottle feeding and that time rocking together is really good for bonding and attachment. LB had a lot of anxiety surrounding his bottles the first month or so he was home. He would see the bottle and would cry and cry until it was safely in his mouth. But once it was in his mouth he was so calm and I really enjoyed that quiet time together. Dr. Purvis, author of "The Connected Child," talks a lot about how important it is to take the time to hold your child close and make eye contact. Since we missed out on the first 7 months of his babyhood, I really cherished that time to sit in his rocking chair and tell him over and over how much we love him. Everything stood still in those moments and LB was so peaceful. However, as his second birthday loomed I started to feel really self conscious about his bottle feeding. At that point he was only taking two a day. One was before afternoon nap and the other before bed at night. It was the perfect transition to sleep. I emailed some fellow adoptive moms about LB's bottle feeding just to see if others out there were in the same boat. I got a lot of encouragement not to worry about it or push LB to quit before he was ready. Many of those moms confirmed that their two year olds were also still on bottles. I breathed such a sigh of relief.
One of the moms reminded me to read the sections on bottle feeding in the book, "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child," by Patty Cogen. I own that book but had completely neglected to check it. There were a few sections on bottle feedings and they actually encouraged extended bottle feeding. I wish I had thought to check that book months ago to save myself hours of agonizing. She says, "A young child's sucking activates the vagus nerve, which in turn regulates the child's breathing into a smooth, slow pattern of inhaling and exhaling and slows the child's heart rate." She continues to say that "when a child associates sucking with a parent's voice, eye contact, and general presence, and eventually with a cuddly object, a foundation is laid for new soothing possibilities that do not rely on sucking. Infants suck on bottles and thumbs, preschoolers hang on to their favorite blankets or stuffed toys, and older children wear a favorite shirt day in and day out." Thankfully this part didn't apply to me but she did confirm that "most pediatricians and dentists see primarily non-adopted children, who have had lots of opportunities to develop their co-regulation; it is easy for them to overlook the special meaning of a bottle for an internationally adopted child." I found it all to be really fascinating and it was reassuring to think about LB's development through those steps. When we first brought him home we noticed that even when he didn't have a bottle he would make a sucking sound when he was tired and ready to fall asleep. He eventually latched on to a favorite blanket and the sucking sound changed to a motoring sound. Clearly, he was developing ways to soothe himself. Now he still has his blanket and I make sure we never leave the house without it. He rarely makes the motoring sound anymore although I do hear him doing it in the middle of the night occasionally. I'm not sure what it says about me since I am pretty sure I sucked my thumb past kindergarten but we won't go there.
We had been trying to give him milk through his sippy cup in the months leading up to his birthday but he would give you a funny look if there was milk in his sippy. The look said, "Hey! This is supposed to be water or juice. I don't drink milk out of this thing." Soon after LB's second birthday it seemed like he just wasn't interested in the bottles anymore, especially at night. He wanted to read books or play with toys. It took a while to get through the whole bottle so we started offering some of his milk in the sippy and some in his bottle. When it seemed like he was more comfortable with this sippy we tried one night to do all of the milk in the sippy. I told myself that if he asked for his bottle we would do that too but he didn't. It was a little harder to transition off at nap but a few weeks later he was fine with just his sippy then too. It took a little trial and error to come up with the right pre-nap routine but I think we are there now. It feels good. Bye bye bottles. I miss you but am glad my boy is comfortable without you.
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Saying "Mon-i-ca" and ditching the bottles - he's become such a big boy!!
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