Things that make me happy v.2

When I would get really anxious during our wait for a referral it helped to focus on other little things that put me in a good mood. As the wait for a court date gets harder and harder, I decided to do the same thing. I need to make an effort to think about other positive things rather than worrying about the two trips, wondering when we’ll get our court date and how I am sad that we won’t be with our boy for his 5 month birthday next week. Sigh.

So here we go with version 2 of things that make me happy (in no particular order).

1. I made a dress. Yep, this domestically challenged gal made a dress. Okay, so Jen helped me but I actually did a lot of it. I still need to make straps but I am pretty pleased with my first attempt. I think the last time I used a sewing machine was in 7th grade Home Ec. and I made a locker organizer. I remember that locker organizer very well. It was navy and had red, yellow and green pockets. I like this dress a lot more than my locker organizer. As I left for the craft night benefit, I don't think Damon actually believed that I would come home with dress. I am sure he imagined me arriving there and getting lured in by the wine, good conversation and snacks and never actually making a dress. He had already gone to bed when I got home that night and when he woke up in the morning he said with a very surprised tone, "you made a dress." Hello. That was my intention. I had a hard time getting a good picture of it but you get the idea. I am quite pleased with myself.

2. I am going to Tulsa this weekend to spend time with my family and see some friends. My mom has a fun weekend planned and I can’t wait!

3. The World Cup starts this weekend in South Africa! I wish that soccer were as big here in the US as it is in other parts of the world. I love the idea of the whole country coming to a stand still to watch a soccer game. Maybe someday that will happen here. Of course this year there is the added benefit that it is in Africa. If this video doesn’t get you psyched to watch some soccer then I don’t know what will.

4. Okay, don’t make fun of me for this one. But can you tell what this is?

We get a free bag of dog food!! It’s the little things. We feed our dog the Cadillac version of dog food so it can be pricey. This little card will get us a free 35lb bag of food for our little girl. Free makes me happy!

5. My friend Katie made this painting for us. The blue in the star part of the flag works perfectly with the blue that Damon just painted in our nursery. I smile every time I look at. I will be forever touched that she made this.

6. As you know, I can’t post pics of our boy online so I had Damon help me put a little heart over his face so I could share this with you. This is a still of the video from Heidi as she is giving him our photo album. I am so glad that our pictures are in his crib. It is like we are watching over him in spirit. I know you can’t see his face but can’t you tell he is just a cutie?! Don’t you want to wrap your hands around that little belly? Maybe, that is just me. This picture makes me beyond happy!

Getting Ready

Even though Damon and I don't have our referral yet that hasn't stopped us from preparing for it. One of the great things about connecting with people from our agency is that those that are traveling always offer to take packages and pictures for the families still waiting to travel. We aren't in the place to be sending packages to our little one yet but hopefully we will be soon. Early in this process Damon liked the idea of having something that we could send to our baby that would have our scent on it. We also noticed that a lot of families put together small photo albums to send to their kids and then the parents would receive pictures of their child in the crib with the album behind them. I always thought those were the sweetest photos. My friend, Amy, tipped us off to a small photo album that was soft and snuggly. So we bought it and have been sleeping with it for the past two months. Here is the album that will eventually make its way to our agency's care center in Ethiopia.

I'm sure lots of other adoptive families have bought the same one. I have no idea if it is taking on our scents but I hope it is. Honestly, it isn't that comfy to sleep with so Damon and I take turns sleeping with it and we try and trick each other into thinking it is the other person's turn. HA! However, when it is my turn I can't help but think that this slightly awkward thing I am cuddling with will one day be in the crib of my future child in Ethiopia. Pretty cool.

I remember a few weeks ago my friend, Heidi, speculated that if she and her husband passed court and we got our referral then she would be able to love on our baby and take photos for us. I read that and was just overcome with emotion. The thought of someone I have met through the process being able to kiss and hug my baby for me made me so happy. That dream is still alive. Heidi and her husband passed court and will be bringing home two adorable boys and we could still get our referral in time before they travel. Maybe I can still overnight our photo album and have it delivered to baby Buster. And hopefully Heidi or whoever delivers it doesn't think it is too stinky!

Winner!

We have a winner for my blog-a-versary giveaway!

And the winner is...

Congrats!! Julie and her husband received their referral for siblings earlier this month! Julie, please email me so we can hook you up with your new Common Threadz shirt!

Thanks to all who played. This was a fun way to end the day.

Hopefully our call comes soon because we are all getting a little bummed out around here.

Including this little girl.

Maybe Tomorrow

No news. Oh well. With each passing day we have to be getting closer and closer. For about the past week or so before we go to bed either Damon or I will say, “Maybe tomorrow.” On the surface it may sound a little depressing but I actually think it is just the opposite. It is all about hope. Tomorrow is still a real possibility. I do get bummed around 6pm each day because I assume if the call hasn’t come by 6pm then the hope for that day is gone. But when we go to bed the hope for tomorrow starts all over again.

A little over a year ago, I read a book that my mom and sister recommended, A Hope in the Unseen by Ron Suskind. The author followed one student, Cedric Benson, for several years and chronicled Cedric’s life in the inner city as he tries to make the best of one of the worst public school systems in the US. I won’t ruin it for you but if you read the back of the book you do learn that Cedric perseveres and makes his way to Brown University. The title of the book is based on a conversation he had with a particular teacher in his high school. This teacher pushed and encouraged him to dream big despite the obvious obstacles. Here is the conversation:

"Hebrews 11:1," says Mr. Taylor. "The substance of faith is a hope in the unseen."
"NO. Wrong--you messed it!" Cedric laughs. "It goes 'Faith, the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Man, Mr. Taylor, you always getting 'em wrong."
... Then he turns the botched line over in his head and hears his giggle echo through the empty hallway. A hope in the unseen. Sort of a pocket-sized version of the original, and not really a religious phrase he decides, but one you can definitely take with you. [pp.49-50, Broadway Books, 2005]

This is really what our journey to parenthood has been about as well. It has been a hope in the very much unseen. Nothing concrete has happened over the past few years that would lead me to say with certainty that I will be a mother. All I have had to cling to was hope and faith that this mystic thing called motherhood would actually be achieved. I have dreamed about this face that I can’t see and cheeks that I can’t squeeze and a belly that I can’t give raspberry kisses to but there is hope that someday all those things COULD happen. I haven’t lost sight of that.

Maybe tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or...

Reunion Recap

This past Saturday Damon and I made the two hour drive to Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana. I graduated from Earlham in May of 1999 and they do their reunion activities over Homecoming Weekend each fall. I met some of my closest friends in the world at Earlham, including Damon. I walked away from the reunion totally over stimulated and didn’t sleep well that night. I kept going over a lot of the conversations I had and there were a few things that kept resurfacing. I was thinking about how impressed I was with what so many of my classmates were doing with their lives and how many of them credit their experience at Earlham for what they decided to pursue as careers. Several of the people I caught up with work for non-profits or even started their own non-profits, teach young children, are completing graduate degrees, etc. It struck me that a high percentage of Earlham alums seem to be involved in more service oriented fields. I shouldn't have been surprised by this. Earlham is a very small liberal arts school that was founded by the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in the mid 1800s. Most of us weren’t raised in the Quaker religion but came away from Earlham with such a respect for a lot of what Quakers value and even though we may not always realize it those ideals have influenced our major life choices. Earlham faculty, who we called by their first names, were always talking about engaging us in the life long process of learning. I think the Quaker ideals of social activism, living simply and creating communities are alive and well in all of us. One thing I loved is that our professors usually started class with a moment of silence and we were able to use that time to catch our breath, focus, pray or do whatever felt right. If only we all could approach our daily decisions with a moment of silence. I think we would all be less stressed and would make more rational decisions. I have been to several weddings of Earlham couples and even though they weren’t Quaker they incorporated the moment of silence into their ceremony. I imagine this was done in gratitude for what we all gained from the influence of Quaker values. I even think that our decision to adopt was partly influenced by the connection we feel to our global community and that was surely cultivated at Earlham.

The other thing I realized is that I have totally been taking for granted how lucky Damon and I are to have the shared experience of going to Earlham. I imagine many people will tell you that their college experiences were unique but I truly believe this about Earlham. Several people approached us and told us how jealous they were that we didn’t have to explain all things Earlham to our significant other because we both just get it. One friend had brought his wife back to Earlham for the first time and you could see the joy in eyes as he got to observe her taking in all the experiences and meeting people that were a big part of his college experience. At the class dinner another friend was showing me her pictures from the day and one of the pictures was the back of a bathroom stall that had a Frisbee hanging on the coat hook. She said she took the photo because it was “so Earlham” and she wanted to show her boyfriend. I never realized that Damon and I were just able to talk about Earlham without having to explain it. Clearly, I really need people to knock me over the head with lessons of gratitude sometimes. It is a wonderful community of friends at Earlham and I hope to continue to build on that wherever Damon and I go.

“They gathered sticks and kindled a fire and left it burning.”

-Engraved in the fireplace in the cafeteria at Earlham College

Random

I would like to apologize in advance. There will be no central theme to this blog post.

Random Item #1

Thank you so much for the wonderful anniversary wishes. Damon and I extended our anniversary by one week and went out for our celebratory dinner last night. We went to one of my favorite places in all of Ohio. Yoshi’s! Japanese food makes me happy like no other food can. At authentic Japanese restaurants there will always be a main hostess lady. Although the word hostess doesn’t really do her justice because it is more like she is the mother of the restaurant. I have never been a regular at a restaurant but I am at Yoshi’s. It pleases me that when I walk in the “restaurant mother” greets me by name. She is lovely. We were chatting and I told her that we were out celebrating our wedding anniversary. A few minutes later she comes back to the table with two glasses of wine that were on the house! I must say it again. She is lovely. We had to use Damon’s phone so it isn’t the greatest quality and doesn’t do the sushi justice but here is a shot of what we devoured.

Another thing I love about Yoshi’s is that Damon and I are always in the minority. When we got up to leave I looked around and realized in the entire front room of the restaurant we were 2 of the 4 non-Japanese people there. That is when you know you are at a truly authentic and delicious Japanese restaurant.

Random Item #2

Yesterday was our 2 month waitaversary! We are getting closer and closer to our little buster.

Random Item #3

Earlier in the adoption process, I stumbled across the website of the non-profit group, Ethiopian Orphan Relief. I was scrolling through the bios of the board members and much to my delight one of them was right here in central Ohio. I told myself I must meet this woman. Through the group of Ethiopia Adoptive Families I did. Paige is wonderful and is extremely knowledgeable about Ethiopia. At one of the dinners a few months ago, I told Paige to let me know if there were any opportunities to volunteer for EOR here in Ohio. Well, yesterday afternoon I got my opportunity. We sold tickets as part of Macy’s Shop for a Cause and the proceeds from the tickets went to EOR. The three hours flew by and we sold a fair amount of tickets. I feel very lucky to have my local Ethiopia adoptive mom mentors of Amy and Paige right here in OH. You should be jealous of me. Seriously.

Random Item #4

I have a theory. When I don’t watch a regular season Buckeye game they lose. My theory was proven again yesterday. I didn’t watch the game (reason = random item #3) and they lost to Purdue. Pathetic. Sorry Buckeyes. This season is not going well.

That’s all I got. Next Saturday is my 10 year college reunion. I think that deserves a dedicated blog post.

Go Hustlin’ Quakers! Stay tuned.

Addicted

It’s official. I am completely addicted to reading about adoption. I need to join a support group or maybe the blogging community is my support group. However, if that is the case then we are a bunch of enablers by continuing to update our blogs and share information about adoption and our personal journeys through it. It doesn’t end with just the blogs. I also love all sites that sell any sort of Ethiopia related gear like t-shirts or baby clothes. I have to exert a lot of will not to buy all of it. Did you know there happen to be shows on TV about adoption? They exist to feed my addiction. There is a new show on the WE network about open adoptions. That is obviously not the route Damon and I chose but I still enjoy learning about it and how the relationships develop. The show makes me wonder even more about my future child’s birth mother. I think about her a lot but that is a post for another day.

This adoption addiction really became apparent to me on Saturday morning. I have been super congested and not sleeping well so after a night of tossing and turning I was up pretty early. I decided to let Damon sleep in and went out to the living room to watch a little TV. I flipped through the channels and settled in on the Today Show. You know how the crowds gather outside on Rockefeller Plaza and occasionally hold signs and Al Roker will engage some of them and wish them happy birthday. Well, I was slouched on the couch and my eyes were a bit glazed over and I saw a sign in the crowd that said, “I love my Gladney Baby.” Then I saw another one that said, “Adoption Rocks – I heart Gladney.” I was seriously concerned that I was hallucinating. No joke. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the TV again and the signs were still there. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I had no idea why they were there but it pleased me. I went through the rest of the day and most of Sunday and basically forgot about this moment. Then I was checking blogs on Sunday afternoon and Heidi mentioned a gathering of Gladney folks in the NY/CT area and I remembered “the incident.” Luckily, Heidi was able to reassure me that this was not an "adoption brain" vision but an actual occurrence. It was a close call. I rarely watch the Today Show on Satuday mornings and think it is a little weird that the morning I decided to watch there were people there holding signs about our adoption agency. It makes me smile actually.

I wanted to share a few of the great links I have discovered through my addiction.

Amharic Tees: They have adorable stuff for infants, toddlers, women and men. If you typically get a Christmas gift from me then odds are that you might receive something from this site. Their shirts are 100% organic cotton and they import their natural fibers from Ethiopia. Plus the shirts are just plain cute and incorporate Ethiopian culture.

Parenthood for Me: This couple has started a non-profit to help provide resources and education for couples either going through adoption or pursuing treatments for infertility. They are currently building an endowment so that couples pursuing adoption can apply for grants to help ease the expense of adoption. The wife also has a great blog and she is an extremely gifted writer. You should check it out!

Amharic Kids: This site has educational tools for kids. The couple that started Amharic Kids realized after the adoption of their daughter that they wanted more tools like books and toys that could help incorporate their daughter’s culture into her life. They have a book called “My First Amharic Words” and these bean bag sets that teach colors and numbers in Amharic. Plus they have tons of other stuff. And the cool thing is that proceeds from the purchases go back to Ethiopia in the form of sponsoring children and towards Ethiopian food relief programs. I will make several purchases from this site when our little buster is home.

I joke about my addiction but I really do think overall the addiction is therapeutic. There are so many times I read someone’s blog and I think how they took the words right out of my mouth. To know that someone out there in Minnesota, Oregon, New York or right here in Columbus is feeling what I am feeling is of huge comfort. There is no doubt the addiction will continue and I will only stop when I have a true hallucination. I’m okay with that.

New Activities

Damon and I have made it a goal to try new things and stay busy during the wait so when our good friends, Chris and Suzie, invited us to go raspberry picking this past Saturday we were totally up for it. We arrived at Mitchell’s Farm and the owner told us that it was getting late in the season but there were still tons of berries to pick. It was an overcast morning and was misting rain but we had a really great time and were very successful in the raspberry picking department.

Here are some of the pictures I took.

Suzie and Damon (in the distance) hard at work

Chris and Suzie pausing for a cute shot.

Damon was a berry picking machine.

I am showing off all the berries even though I picked a small margin of them.

Since we had SO many berries I felt inspired to bake something with them. The inspiration to cook is a rarity for me so I thought I should take advantage. When I was talking to my sister recently she had mentioned going to a scone party so I had scones on the brain. Damon found a recipe online for me and off I went. I was a little nervous because the last time I decided to bake it did not go so well. I used a banana nut bread recipe to make banana nut muffins, which would have been fine, except that I didn’t alter the time in the oven. Needless to say, the muffins came out resembling rubber. BUT this time my scones turned out great.

Here are some pics of my scone baking extravaganza.

Perfect berries

Scones pre-oven

Finished product

I am very proud of myself and love that we picked the berries ourselves and then came home and used them in a recipe. This is where you shower me with positive reinforcement so that I will be encouraged to do this again. J We still have lots of berries in the freezer so I’ll have to find some more recipes.

Finally, last week was a big week in Gladney referral world! It was very exciting to read all about “the call” moments for all of the families. Those are some of my favorite blog posts. I know it is way early for me to be thinking about "the call" but with all the referrals last week it makes it so hard not to wonder what it will be like. Will I be at work? Will Damon and I be able to receive the information together or will it be by conference call? Will I cry instantly? (yes) How old will the baby be? So many questions. Time will tell. I am practicing patience on a daily basis and grasping to the fact that my time will come eventually. Congrats Gladney families!

One Month Down & Tagged

One Month Down! Today we are celebrating our one month wait-a-versary. Whoo Hoo! I was trying to come up with a cute picture of my dog carrying a sign with a 1 on it but that just wasn’t happening so you’ll just have to envision it. J We are one month closer to our little buster!

As I mentioned in my previous post, Tam tagged me. Then a few days ago Leah tagged me as well so I figured I better get to work. I will admit that I did the 25 random things that spread around Facebook like wild fire earlier this year and I did steal from that list. So if you are my friend on Facebook then I apologize for the repetition.

1. My middle name is Kyger. It was my grandmother’s maiden name. When I was in the second grade I changed it to Beth and I wrote it on all my papers. I think my second grade teacher really thought my name was Emily Beth. My mom was probably a little concerned. Now I really like it and that it is unique and has family meaning but at the time I just wanted to conform.

2. I am terrible at taking pills. I actually take a drink and then shove the pill in my mouth and hope it goes down. I have only met one other person who is like me in the pill taking world. If all pills could be chewable or like the yummy bubble gum liquid medicine we got as kids then I would be thrilled. I really want to start taking fish oil pills but all the ones I have found are just too big. It is a true conundrum.

3. I ran the NYC marathon in 2003. I wore a t-shirt that said "David's niece". My uncle David ran the NYC marathon over 20 times and one of the 1st times (I was probably 3) he wore a t-shirt that said "Emily's uncle". It cracked me up when I was running and people would cheer and say "go David's niece?" and you could just sense they were perplexed. It entertained me for 26.2 miles. My uncle passed away in April 2006 and I think of him often. I know he would be really excited about our adoption.

4. Damon cooks dinner every night. Since we have been married I could probably think of maybe 10 times when I have cooked and that might be a stretch. I do aspire to cook but at the moment I am fine with reaping with the benefits of being married to someone who enjoys cooking.

5. I LOVE the Olympics. When they roll around I am totally addicted and can’t get enough. This is probably because of my love for sports and also because I get caught up in the personal stories of the athletes.

6. I love to have coffee in bed on the weekends while I read the paper. I know with a child on the way those days are probably numbered. I will enjoy them while I can.

7. My family rocks. They are awesome. I also really lucked out in the in-law department. I know Damon's parents would do anything for me and I love them. I am blessed.

Okay, so here are the blogs I am tagging.

1. Tracy at Always and Forever Ours

2. Claire at My Inner June

3. Christine at The Mathews Family

4. Lindsey at Africa Bound Andrews

5. Kristi at We Love our Lucy

6. Amy at Peanut Journey

7. Valerie at My Own Crafty Wonderland

I’ll be eagerly awaiting your posts. J

Central Ohio Folks:

Enkutatash – Ethiopian New Year Celebration

Saturday, September 19th from Noon – 4pm

Whitehall Yearling High School

Kids under 12 are Free / $10 in advance and $15 at the door

Damon and I will be there enjoying the food and festivities so come on out and support ETSS!

The Blue Nile

Over the weekend our good friends, Allie and Ethan, came to visit and were kind enough to join us in our adventure to try Ethiopian food for the first time. I wasn’t really sure what to expect but I like a lot of ethnic foods so I was hopeful I would enjoy it. The Blue Nile has been around Columbus a long time and I wanted an authentic experience.

Here is a shot of the four of us gathered around the tray.

The owners were incredibly nice and I think their website does a great job explaining the experience and the significance of sharing the same plate. Here is what they say:

“Gather around the tray (Mosseb) made for a group to eat from the same platter. Experiencing the community dish by eating from the same plate and sharing the same bread (called Injera) is socially significant in the Ethiopian culture and also creates a bond of friendship and personal loyalty between the diners. It is said that people who eat from the same plate (Mosseb) will never betray one another.”

As an appetizer we ordered Vegetarian Sambusas, pastry shells filled with potatoes, peas and herbs. They were delicious. Here is what we ordered for our entrees as described in the menu.

Doro Wat: Chicken cooked and perfectly simmered with seasoned sauce of berbere. Served with hard boiled egg.

Minchetabesh: Finely chopped prime beef first fried in a pan with ginger, onion, cardamom and white pepper until golden, then sauteed in Ethiopia's famous keywat.

Kik Alicha: Yellow split peas cooked with onions, green peppers and garlic.

Shiro: Spiced and milled chick peas cooked with onions.

My favorite was the split pea dish and D liked the chick peas the best but was also partial to the chicken. All of the meals are served with injera. The injera basically acts as your utensil. Here is how Blue Nile’s website describes injera. “Injera, a flat tangy, crepe-like bread, is the essential part of the meal. It is made out of teff, wheat and corn flours. Teff is a cereal grain, until now unique to Ethiopia, which is rich in iron, protein, complex carbohydrates, calcium, potassium, and other minerals.”

Here is a shot of Allie scooping up a yummy bite with the injera.

All in all it was a great experience and I am so glad we have The Blue Nile in Columbus. I am eager to go back and get to know the owners better.

In adoption news, we completed our fire inspection on Tuesday morning. It was good to check that off the list. This weekend we have our appointment with CIS. It feels like we are moving along and getting stuff done. Hopefully the trend continues over the next few weeks!