Collage Photos

I recently got a new app for my phone that allows me to make photo collages. I have become a tad obsessed with it. I am often taking photos with the thought of creating a collage later. But it's a good way to document an event. Here are my faves. Of course, they are all of LB.

 

My sister gave me the great idea to send LB outside with his magnifying glass to explore. He loved this. One of his favorite shows on TV is Sid the Science Kid and Sid often has his magnifying glass so LB kept saying, "Same as Sid!" We looked at rocks, spiders, ants, bees, grass, etc.

 

 

This time I got a fun idea from my friend, Katie. I made a big ball of play dough and then stuck uncooked spaghetti noodles into the ball. I gave LB a bowl of Cheerios and told him to make a tower. It's a good activity to work on fine motor skills because it takes some concentration and skill to thread the Cheerios through the noodle. LB's towers never got very tall because once he put a few on then he wanted to take them off and eat them. Eventually, the game turned into making porcupines with the play dough and noodles, which was entertaining too. I love watching his face when he is focusing on something.

 

 

Last Sunday, we met friends at an apple orchard about 30 minutes outside of Columbus. I wasn't sure what LB would think of it but he had a blast. It was good he had a buddy there because they walked up and down the rows of apples and had fun pulling them off the trees and pausing to take bites. It was a perfect fall morning and I am hoping this can be a new family tradition.

 

 

LB and I are currently spending a long weekend in Tulsa. It was LB's first time to fly since his airplane obsession really kicked in and since receiving a suitcase from my mom. He was BEYOND excited to get to pull his own suitcase and to get on a purple airplane (Southwest) just like his toy airplane. I could not have asked for LB to do any better on the two flights. He was truly a rock star traveler. He even insisted on pulling his suitcase all the way through the terminal when we had to switch planes. He occasionally got in someone's way but no one seemed to case because he was so cute. And watching him run through security to give my parents a hug was just about the best thing ever.

 



"You Are What They Need."

Earlier this summer, I attended a parenting workshop at my friend's church. It was about dealing with your own fears as a parent and with your kid's fears. This workshop was designed for me. I've been known to let my fears and anxiety get the best of me and LB is definitely not one of those fearless kids. It always makes me shake my head when I see a kid LB's age or even younger at a park climbing up high or going down a twisty, tunnel slide and the parent says, "he's fearless." That has not been my experience as a parent at all. LB is very thoughtful, cautious and aware of his surroundings. He often needs encouraging and pushing to try something new. He's an observer. He just started going down the twisty slides, "all by me self." The woman who ran the workshop told us she wanted us to remember to this one thing she was going to say. And if we didn't take away anything else from the session that was fine but we needed to hold on to this one thing. "You are what they need." She repeated it several times. "You are what they need." It really hit home with me. It's so easy to get overwhelmed and over think every situation. Keep it simple. I need that reminder over and over again.

I don't know about you but one of the parts about being a parent that perplexes me the most is when to push LB to try something he is afraid of and when to hold back. D has told me the story of his first soccer game several times. His mom was the coach and D did not want to go out on the field. In the end, his mom essentially had to drag him out on to the field to play. Soccer ended up being a huge part of D's life and he played all through college. Perhaps if his mom hadn't dragged him out on the field he would have worked up the courage on his own a few weeks or months later and everything still would have worked out. Who knows? But the point is that I think D looks back on that as a moment when he was grateful that his mom wouldn't take no for an answer and wouldn't let his fears win.

As an adoptive parent, I feel that I have had to put in the extra effort for LB to know that he is safe. We weren't there for him during those important early months of development. We weren't there to meet his every need as an infant and to develop what Dr. Purvis calls, "felt safety." In the first several months that we brought LB home we were the only ones to feed LB, put him to sleep, change his diaper, etc. He didn't understand with our words that we were his parents so we had to show him through our actions. I think that idea of "felt safety" is always at the back of my mind, which puts me more often than not in the don't push him category of dealing with fears. But it's a constant question running through my mind and I have a feeling that it never goes away, even when your kids are grown and out of the house.

When my parents were here in August we took LB to the zoo one day. They have a merry go round and LB usually shows interest in doing it. However, when you get close and in line he starts to back off and say he doesn't want to do it. The past couple of times I have convinced him to do it but he insists that we sit on the bench and not on a horse. When we went to the zoo with D's parents and LB's cousins over a year ago he got on the horse no problem. I am not sure if that is because his cousins did it so he felt like he needed to or if he just didn't have the maturity to be skeptical. However, ever since then he has refused to ride on the horse. This most recent visit was no different. We got in line, he didn't want to do it and I convinced him to sit on the bench.

As we went around and around, I talked to him about the horses. I explained they were nice and just went up and down. I also thought of what the woman said at the parenting workshop and so I said to him over and over, "Mommy keeps you safe." We finished, he said he had fun and we went to check out the gorillas. As we were walking back, we passed the merry go round again. LB said he wanted to do it and that he wanted to ride the horse. I assumed we would get close and he would change his mind. My mom said she would do it with him and he continued to say he wanted to ride the horse. So my mom put him on the horse and he smiled. A really big, proud smile. My mom said that he told her, "Me so happy." Needless to say, as they went around and around and LB waved and smiled at me each time, I cried and cried. I was so proud of him. I know it may seem minor but to watch him conquer something he's been wanting to do but was afraid of was truly magical.

There have been a few other instances since then when I've told him that, "Mommy keeps you safe." And he always repeats back to me, "Same as the merry go round." Clearly, it was just as big of a moment for him as it was for me. 

"You are what they need." 

A Mom Moment

My mom likes to tell the story of when she was working the evening shift at the library one night and my dad brought my sister and me downtown to visit her. She worked on the third floor of the main library and when we got to the top of the stairs my younger sister saw my mom sitting at the reference desk and made a beeline for her yelling, "Mommy!!!" My mom scooped her up and gave her a big hug. It was one of those moments that you dream about as you are in the waiting stage to be a mom. For some of us, that waiting stage can go on for quite some time and for others there isn't much waiting at all but I think you dream about those moments no matter what.

I had one of those moments a few weeks ago. We were invited to one of LB's friend's birthday party. His buddy, M, was also adopted from Ethiopia and was turning three. His parents set up a bunch of kiddie pools in their backyard and a big water slide and the kids ran about in their swimsuits playing in the water. It was a quintessential summer birthday party. After the kids had worn themselves out with all the water play, M's mom brought out the cupcakes so everyone could sing "Happy Birthday." I wrapped LB up in his towel and he sat in my lap. As everyone started singing, I realized that I was having one of those mom moments. I was sitting in the grass on a perfect summer evening and had my little, wet and shivering two year old all bundled in my lap. He loves the "Happy Birthday" song so he was all smiles and seemingly content as we sat in the grass and ate cupcakes. LB isn't really into sweets so he just took a few licks of the icing and then put an end to my moment. But it was so wonderful to allow life to stand still for a few minutes. I looked around, gave LB a little squeeze and let it all wash over me. I'm so grateful.

"Let us be silent, that we may hear the whisper of God."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Current Reads

I've picked out some good books at the library recently so I thought I would share. I know this is very common but LB definitely gets hooked on certain books and then only wants to read those for weeks on end. It can get a little old but luckily I really enjoy the books he is currently obsessed with. We'll see if the obsession ends before these books are due. If not, I may have to actually pay for them.

It will come as no surprise that his two favorites are airplane books. They are both all about going to the airport, checking in, getting on the plane and taking off. LB reenacts these airport scenes with his fleet of airplanes all day long so getting to see pictures of planes that are "sleeping" at the gates and "going up in the sky" is very satisfying for him.

If we can convince him to stray from the airplane books then he is usually more than happy to read "Shades of People" by Shelley Rotner or "Please, Baby, Please" by Spike Lee. I really think "Shades of People" should be a must read for all little kids because it explains that we are all a little different on the outside but that doesn't mean anything. LB's favorite part is when the pictures show "that even the same family there can be many shades." It's especially cute when the three of us are reading this book before bed and he'll make a point to say that we are a family. Heart = melt. "Please, Baby, Please" is a cute book about a baby that does everything she isn't supposed to do and LB likes shaking his head at the baby, even though he, of course, does a lot of the same things. I like that the baby has brown skin. I find that I have to make an effort to find books with more of a multi-racial cast of characters.

My sister got him a really great book called, "Sheep in a Jeep." LB thinks it is hilarious and it's rhyming so he can "help" me read it. Before the airplane book obsession he really liked two books by the same author, Todd Parr. The librarian at my mom's library recommended them and LB enjoyed "The Peace Book" and "The Family Book," which also explores the fact that all families are different and that's okay. Some people have large families or families with two mommies or some families adopt kids. Todd Parr also has a book all about adoption and I checked it out from the library but wasn't a big fan. I just didn't like some of his wording. I am sure I was being picky but I can't help it. I was a little worried when we had to return the two Todd Parr books but he handled it gracefully. One of my favorite bloggers, Rage Against the Minivan, recently did a post about a situation her adopted son faced on the playground. Another child basically was questioning her son about his "real mom" and that his mom couldn't possibly be since they didn't match. She had it published on The Huffington Post and actually got some negative feedback. The premise of her post was to ask other parents to talk to their kids about how families are different and that not all families will look like their's. It seems like a pretty simple and necessary thing to talk about and I think children's books are a great way to start. Reading a book like "Shades of People" or "The Family Book" is an easy way to bring this topic up for discussion, even with a two year old. I am so incredibly nervous about those playground moments. But I'm doing my best to worry about today and not several years from now. Let me rephrase that, I am doing my best not to worry. Ha! Okay, the first sentence was more accurate.

There you have it. That's what we're reading. Any suggestions?

Studio Samuel

I've met a lot of amazing women through our adoption process. It's no shock that many of these women have come home from their travels to Ethiopia and have been inspired to make a difference. One of the women I became closest to during the wait is Tamara. She brought her son home from Ethiopia just a few weeks before we traveled to bring LB home. She met LB before I did and our boys even shared the same special nanny at our agency's care center. Here is Tamara giving some love to LB before I could. You've got to love the pink onesie with red hoodie ensemble LB was rocking that day!

Through her connections in fashion she has started an amazing foundation, Studio Samuel, that aims to empower women by teaching them a skill and providing them a living wage. If you've seen the video about The Girl Effect or it you are familiar with the Half the Sky movement then you know a lot of people believe the place to start for eradicating poverty in the developing world is women. The Girl Effect says, "Invest in a girl and she will do the rest." Tamara decided to focus on women as well. She's put together a video about her foundation and all that she is hoping to accomplish. She even has Cyndi Lauper on board to help raise awareness.


STUDIO SAMUEL from bridge sessions on Vimeo.


I am inspired by her and hope you are too! If you are so inclined to give to her foundation then please click HERE to make a secure donation. If you make a $50 donation then you can claim a gift of a bag of coffee from Ethiopia. Damon and I took an entire duffel bag to Ethiopia so we could bring home as much coffee as possible. We both shed tears the day we used our final bag. There are other gifts to claim as well.

Studio Samuel will be launching their line during NYC fashion week.

Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend and let's provide some valuable work for women in Ethiopia!

Grandma's Photo Shoot

My parents were in town a few days last week and then headed to NYC to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. They stopped here again on their way back home. None of us complained. LB has been in grandparent heaven. I wish I had a dollar for every time he has said, "No mommy," the past couple of days because he wants nothing to do with me and only wants Greema and Poppy. My mom recently got a new camera and has been learning to use it on this trip. As would be expected, LB has been her primary subject. We visited the airport (his favorite place), the zoo and several parks so she had some opportunities to catch LB in action. Since he is basically always on the move he's a hard one to capture but, in my opinion, she took some great ones.

The last one is my favorite. So much joy.

It's also worth noting that "call me greema" worked! When my parents arrived, LB got the guitar he has been coveting for a while. He didn't put it down for about two hours. He was pretty happy and even said several times, "me so happy." 

Any bets on how long it will take for him to pull "call me greema" out of his pocket again?

Friday Favorite Photo

He's so kind to bunny.