LB's First Reward Chart

We've had some tough evenings around these parts. Lots of tears. Not just from LB. When LB turned 2 1/2 he became more of a challenge to put down at night. He started with some stalling and we had some unpleasant evenings. But it would happen for a night or two and then it would get better. And the stalling was mostly limited to "one more hug" or "a little more milk" or "come look at this really big boogie." It dragged out bedtime but it was doable. Well, around his 3rd birthday we had night after night of insane amounts of stalling and then big tantrums when we tried to limit the stalling. I am not a fan of the 'cry it out method' but it felt like he would never go to sleep if we gave in to all his requests. He's also the type of personality that if you do something once then be prepared to always have to do it. He doesn't forget. Anything. There were a few times when I would offer to sit next to his bed to see if he just needed some extra comfort. It may have helped prevent crying and screaming but I felt like my presence served as added stimulation and he would attempt to engage me in conversation. It just seemed to drag it out even more. I sent out some cries for help to a few experienced mama friends and two of them suggested sticker charts with the promise of a reward. I figured it was worth a try. His bed time antics were exhausting me!

Since this was the first time I had introduced a reward system to LB, I wanted to make the chart very visual so there would be no mistaking the intent. Since I am not an artist, I went online and found a photo of a crib that looks like his and a picture of some presents. I put a bunch of smiley face stickers around the bed to symbolize being happy in bed. I gave a lot of thought to how many stickers he would need to earn to get his reward. In the end, we decided 3 stickers was the perfect number. I could explain to him that he needed to earn 3 because he is 3 years old and it wouldn't take too long to earn so that he would stay motivated. So I wrote out the numbers and the plan would be cover the number with a sticker once he earned it.

Full disclosure #1: I showed the sticker chart to LB in the afternoon and explained that if he went to bed happy and calm for 3 nights then he would get a present. I told him no screaming and no throwing friends from his bed. I also explained I would still rub his back and rock him a little bit but when that was done it was time for bed. I thought I did a good job explaining the criteria. Well... he saw the pictures of the presents and wanted the presents "NOW!" It was not pretty. I was ready to throw in the towel and say forget it. Frustrating!!

However, I am always too quick to quit. So I put the chart on top of the fridge and after he had calmed a bit I distracted him and didn't bring it up again until bedtime. At bedtime, I simply told him that I wanted him to go to bed happy and with no screaming so that he could get a sticker in the morning. He did some stalling and D and I had to go up to tend to his "one more" requests a few times but then there was silence. It was glorious. The next 2 nights were even better. I finished rocking him and then reminded him I wanted him to get a sticker in the morning and I walked out of the room. Silence. Ahhhh. So wonderful. I could put him to bed and exhale. It was a treat!

Full Disclosure #2: After he earned his first sticker he also wanted a present "NOW!" But again, I just put the chart out of sight and then didn't bring it up again until later.

So as you can see it wasn't totally perfect but it DID get us to our goal. He earned his present yesterday morning and we started up again last night. He resisted bed time a bit at first but in the end he pulled himself together and fell asleep calm and collected. That's really what it is all about.

Doesn't he look proud? I was proud too. Yay for behavior modification! We're thinking of going ahead and switching him to his big boy bed with the hopes that the promise of a present will encourage him to stay and not wander. Any other tips for the big switch?