An Important Combination

Suffice it to say that I have not been sleeping that great. I am sure this is to be expected so I should cut myself some slack. However, I know this adrenaline can only last so long so I need to get some of this anticipation in check. It is bad when you need to remind yourself to breathe in AND breathe out. It is kinda an important combination. I don’t think it does me much good to constantly daydream and wonder what the call will be like because then I am not being intentional TODAY. This morning I purposefully took five minutes and just sat with my dog. I sat there with her and tried to pet her to the beat of my breath. I needed to be still for just a few moments. I also drove to work in silence rather than listen to NPR like I usually do. I tried to quiet my mind.

About five years ago I was in a yoga class and the instructor was leading some guided meditation at the end of the class. He said something that has stuck with me. He was acknowledging how hard it can be to quiet the mind so he suggested that we visualize a bus. The bus represents our distracting thoughts. Of course, at times we are going to get on the bus and that is okay. When you recognize you are on the bus and you shouldn’t be then go ahead and visualize yourself getting off the bus. Take each step off the bus and then watch the bus as it fades out of sight. Bring yourself back to focus. It is important to acknowledge those thoughts and not feel bad about them but when you recognize it then get off the bus. I just love that. There are times when I literally tell myself, “Emily, it is time to get off the bus.”

The other thing that I find myself doing to stay calm is to repeat the first couple of lines from The Serenity Prayer. I think I first heard of this prayer when I read A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. Do you remember that book? The author was featured on Oprah and the book was then, of course, wildly popular. However some information surfaced that certain details in the book weren’t entirely true so then Oprah brought him back and yelled at him and scolded him. I thought she went a bit overboard. I was disappointed in the author too but this guy had overcome addiction and came back from the bottom of the bottom. I thought Oprah crossed the line and I even boycotted her for a while. (Are you thinking, “Emily, get off the bus and get back to the prayer?! Yes, me too.)

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

That is SO hard but so important for me to remember. I cannot control when the call will come or where I will be when the phone rings. I cannot control so much and that is okay. But you know I can work on being a better listener, snapping at Damon less, exercising more and all sorts of other things that will allow me to be a happier and kinder person.

Oh yeah, and I can breathe in AND breathe out.