Seven Months!

First, I want to say thank you so much for all the kind words and encouragement that we received last week. This new change in policy is still very overwhelming but I am feeling a lot better. I am doing my best to not dwell on it too much. Gladney is holding a conference call tomorrow to discuss the changes in more detail and answer questions people have submitted. Damon and I will continue to roll with it as best we can!

Today is our seventh month waitaversary! It seems that our agency average tends to fluctuate between 7-9 months for infant referrals so we are reaching that range. Now that we are getting closer Damon and I have started discussing our plans for “the call” and logistically how it might work. (I know. I know. It is hard to plan for such things but that is how we are.) Our caseworker said that she usually calls the woman first and then if she can’t reach her then she’ll call the guy. The nature of my job means that I spend a lot of my day on the phone so I worry about being on the phone with a parent and watching my cell phone vibrate with the 817 area code on the display. It will take all my self control to not just tell the parent, “Don’t worry about the SATs. Your kid will get into college somewhere. Have a great afternoon.” And then proceed to hang up and frantically call our caseworker. My hope is that I will be able to leave work and go home to receive all the information in private. Depending on the day of the week Damon may not be able to come home. I really like the idea of being together when it happens but I know that may not be feasible. Damon and I have agreed that whoever talks to Mary first can find out if it is a boy or girl but all other information has to wait until we are both on the call. I was pushing to get to know the age as well but Damon wouldn’t go for it. Boo. I do know that I can’t wait to hear Mary’s voice on the other line!

So with the news of two possible trips to Ethiopia I got the sudden motivation to learn Amharic. I was never very good at math or science but languages were always my thing. Although in high school my Spanish teacher told me I spoke Spanish with a Japanese accent. Ha!

Today I picked up this book from our local library.

(image via Amazon.com)

I figured I would rather browse through some books first before I buy anything. I also know that I am going to need some CDs because it will be important to hear the pronunciations and repeat them. My friend, Amy, owns a book/CD that is designed for adoptive families and she is kindly going to let me borrow it.

(image via Amazon.com)

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like there is a whole lot out there. I realize Amharic isn’t the fastest growing language but I don’t even think Rosetta Stone has anything. If I am wrong please let me know! Do any iphone users out there have the UTalk Amharic app? The reviews I read were just okay so I am not sure it is worth the $10 or not. I would love any and all suggestions for books or CDs that people found to be helpful. I did a little reading in the Lonely Planet book after dinner and have learned that Amharic uses a similar sentence structure to Japanese. For example, in English we typically construct a sentence with Subject-Verb-Object. Ex: Damon plays soccer. However in Amharic the same sentence would read, Damon soccer plays.

(Subject-Object-Verb) Japanese is the same! So I don’t have to get used to a new sentence structure because the Japanese part of my brain already thinks that way. Score one point for me. Uh oh. Did I just lose all my readers? Languages are cool to me and I am not afraid to admit it. So I will keep plugging along and hopefully by the end of my studies I will at least be able to ask, “Where is the bathroom?”

“Slowly, slowly an egg learns to walk.” Apparently that is an old Amharic saying that means if you take things bit by bit then slowly but surely it will start to come together. I like it. A lot.

Roller Coaster

Nobody said this would be easy. Nope. Not easy at all.

For all my buddies in the ET adoption community this is old news (well, by old I mean 24 hours).

We got word yesterday from our agency that the federal government in Ethiopia has determined that adoptive parents must now travel to Ethiopia for the court date. Previously we signed a power of attorney and our agency represented us in court. Then once we passed we would travel 4-6 weeks later for the embassy date. What does this mean? Now we will have to travel to Ethiopia TWICE. I will tell you that it was a not a pretty sight in the Buster household yesterday. I happened to be home because I was recovering from a violent stomach bug. It was one of those emails that you have to read twice to really comprehend it all. My initial reaction was to break down in tears. Yep, they were big, fat and ugly tears. I know that may seem dramatic but I was so tired from all the puking (told you, not a pretty sight) and all I could think about was meeting my baby and having to say goodbye. I just couldn't see myself flying all the way to Africa and coming home without a baby in my arms. A day later and many emails, Facebook chats and phone calls with other mommas in waiting I am feeling better. I am also really trying to find that girl inside of me that can just roll with it. She has to be down there somewhere. In the end, all of this is out of my control and is about issues much bigger than me. If this helps bring more transparency to the process then that is good. This will allow the federal court in Ethiopia to meet with the adoptive parents before the adoption is finalized and confirm our desire to adopt the child matched with us. Hopefully it will allow for more time to meet with birth relatives and to see our child's birth country. And of course the obvious pro in getting to see our baby sooner. I am going to keep trying to suppress that image of getting on the plane without baby Buster. I am not sure anything good comes from focusing on that. I know there are other countries that require two trips and if any of you readers out there have done this then I would love to chat with you. I am going to need all the advice I can get. (Valerie - Get a ready for a phone call from me and there may be tears.) Yesterday was a low but I have full faith in Gladney and I continue to thank my lucky stars that we are with such a reputable agency. We are along for the ride and we'll see how it all shakes out. In other positive news, Damon tells me that our house no longer smells like puke. Very good news.

Here is a cute little face that cuddled with me the past few days. Precious. Don't you think she looks upset about the news as well?

Top Five

On Friday I flew to Providence, RI to co-host a baby shower for one of my bestest friends, Allie. She has been one of my biggest supporters in this adoption and I am so thrilled that we will both (hopefully in my case) become mothers in 2010. A few posts ago I mentioned a craft project I did for her shower and since craft projects are very rare in the Buster household I have to document it. I got the idea from a co-worker. I went to Michaels craft store and picked out some of the cute wooden animals.

I bought magnet tape and put it on the back.

Then I put them in little bags and tied them off with ribbon. Voila! A cute favor.

It was very easy and was a good project for an inexperienced crafter. I was pleased with them. You can also buy the wooden animals unpainted and paint them yourself. I thought that would be a fun project for a kid.

The shower went very well and it was wonderful to see so many people come together to support my friend. It was a co-ed baby shower, which added some good comic relief. I was highly amused listening to the guys "ooh" and ahh" over some of the gifts. They were coached well. Here are some photos from the shower.

The three hostesses and Allie in the grey and black. She looks amazing!

All events are improved by sushi. We ordered this from Whole Foods and it was delish!

The cakes were truly divine. One was an apricot cheesecake and the other was like a tiramisu.

They got some great gifts, including these Bob Marley onesies!

While we were in the planning stages for my friend's shower, I read a blog entry from another friend who is pregnant. At her shower they made her a labor necklace. The necklace can be used as a focal point during labor and symbolizes the women in her life that are supporting her as she makes this transition into a new stage of life. I had heard of something similar on one of my favorite adoption blogs, dandies in the sunshine. I did a little more reading on the subject and decided this would be an empowering experience for my friend. I asked each woman to bring two beads to the shower. Then at the shower each woman placed their beads in a bowl and told Allie a wish they had for her. The wishes included a smooth transition to motherhood, a peaceful labor, many joyous moments, etc. I know Allie was really moved by it and I hope she can harness all that positive energy into the final stages of her pregnancy. The necklace really turned out nicely. Her mother brought several beads and we used those to finish it. Beautiful.

After the shower we were cleaning up and I checked my phone and briefly logged on to Facebook. I saw the very exciting news that the Schmidts, who had been sitting at the top of the unofficial list for either gender, received their referral for a boy!! I am pretty sure I made some sort of squealing noise! Congrats to the Schmidts!! This means that the Busters have finally cracked through to the top 5 for a boy on the unofficial list!! We are #7 for a girl!

In other exciting news, Team Buster is up to $1,110 donated, which means 110 pairs of shoes. Thanks to all for your continued support!

6 Months & Over the Top!

Today marks our 6 month anniversary on the waitlist! Whoo Hoo!! I am not quite sure if I am excited or depressed. Maybe a little of both.

Since I am totally obsessed with the Olympics and am staying up way too late to watch it I thought today was a good day to cash in on this lovely award. My sweetness of a friend, Heidi, passed this along to me a few weeks ago and I tucked it away for a rainy day. Today is that day. Here it goes.

The award comes with the challenge of answering the below list of questions with ONE WORD and then passing the award along.

1. Where is your cell phone? Couch

2. Your hair? Long

3. Your mother? Amazing

4. Your father? Kind

5. Your favorite food? Sushi!!!

6. Your dream last night? Nothing

7. Your favorite drink? Coffee

8. Your dream / goal? Gratitude

9. What room are you in? Living Room

10. Your hobby? Reading

11. Your fear? Setbacks

12. Where do you want to be in six years? Wherever I am supposed to be

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren't? Patient

15. Muffins? No, thanks.

16. Wish list item? REFERRAL!! (duh!)

17. Where did you grow up? Tulsa

18. Last thing you did? Eat

19. What are you wearing? Jeans/Sweatshirt

20. Your TV? Olympics

21. Your pets? Neurotic

22. Friends? Awesome

23. Your life? Blessed

24. Your mood? Wishful

25. Missing someone? Mom

26. Vehicle? Subaru

27. Something your not wearing? Jewelry

28. Your favorite store? Gap, Starbucks, Barnes & Noble (too hard to choose one)

29. Your favorite color? Blue

30. What was the last time you laughed? Work

31. Last time you cried? Monday (Team Buster thank you video)

32. Your best friend? Damon

33. One place that I could go over and over? Taos, NM

34. One person who emails you regularly? Allie

35. Favorite place to eat? Yoshi's (sushi)

Okay, so I didn't totally abide the rules but I came close. I pass this award on to Leah, Jenny and Kelly.

Hopefully, the next time I post there will have been lots of movement on the list and you can all be thankful you don't have to hear me gripe and complain.

In an effort to focus on the positive I'll end with another great quote on gratitude.

"For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. " - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Team Buster Thank You Video!

I think I experienced the most rewarding 4 seconds of my life today. Seriously. If you have donated to Team Buster please watch this video. In typical Emily fashion I cried. You'll want to turn up the volume so you can understand his sweet voice.

Team Buster is up to $750 donated!! We are so close to our initial goal of $1000.

This has been really exciting for Damon and me and we truly get so pumped each time someone donates. Thank you!

In purely selfish news, the unofficial waitlist has been SO slow lately. It is getting a little depressing. I know that the referrals come in waves but these slow times are gut wrenching. PLEASE let it pick up again soon. PLEASE!!!!

I must be coming down with something because I had some true domestic moments this weekend. I went to Michaels Craft Store for the first time in my life. It was a tad overwhelming but I made it out all in one piece and no tears were shed. I can't post anything about my craft project because it is a surprise for my friend's baby shower in two weeks. It was definitely a beginner crafting project but it was fun. I also cooked dinner (with Damon's help) for our friends that recently adopted a baby girl. My friend is gluten free so I was a bit nervous about that but I made a stew from a blog that is all about gluten free meals made in the slow cooker. HERE is the link if you are into using your crock pot or are gluten free. It made a ton of food so Damon and I were able to sample it and I give it two thumbs up. Damon, as an experienced chef, always considers adjustments he would make to recipes after preparing them for the first time and he thought it would be better with more sweet potatoes instead of the acorn squash. We made it with ground turkey but Damon thought sausage would have been tastier. (Disclaimer: Damon thinks every meal would be improved with pork.) I was quite proud of it and am inspired to prepare more meals in the slow cooker. If you know of any good websites with slow cooker recipes please let me know.

I'm off to see if I can watch the Ethiopian athlete compete in Cross Country Skiing!

Go Teklemariam!!

Gratitude

First, how cute is my husband? When he emailed me at work a few weeks ago and told me he wanted to start a team at Common Threadz it made my heart flutter. There are so many things about this adoption journey that I am grateful for but this new shared passion has been an unexpected perk. (More on that later.)

Here is the Team Buster Update: So far 19 people have donated to our team and we have raised a total of $370! That is 37 pairs of shoes for orphans in South Africa! Common Threadz is only 30 shoes short of their goal. If you would like to donate there is still time. Click HERE. Thank you so much to those of you who already donated to our team! We are so appreciative!

I read a really great quote about gratitude a few weeks ago and I have been thinking about it a lot and how the words relate to our journey to parenthood and our new passions. I wanted to share it with you.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. "

-Melodie Beattie

I just love it. I put it on a note card and have it on my bedside table so that I will be reminded to read it everyday. I don't want to lose sight of it.

In all honesty, I have written this post over and over in my head. I have gone back and forth for a while if I would share our pre-adoption journey to parenthood on my blog. My mom told me a while ago that something would happen and I would know it was the right time. I would get a sign. Well, this quote was my sign. Damon and I spent 2007 and 2008 trying to navigate our way through the world of infertility. It was painful and awful and isolating. But you see, this "problem" turned out to be a gift and we have evolved from a state of confusion to true clarity. I have hesitated talking about it up until now because I am not exactly sure who reads this blog and this part of our journey has been very personal so sharing is scary. I also really want this blog to mostly be about our journey to adopt baby Buster (and then maybe baby Buster #2) so I don't want to dwell in the past. However, I think it is important to acknowledge when you move towards a place of peace with something or someone that used to keep you on the couch feeling sorry for yourself. My other worry is that people will pity us or think that adoption feels like a consolation prize. I know that for a while I did feel sorry for myself but that is not how I feel now. I actually see our infertility as a blessing. How amazing is that? This thing that caused so many tears, that made me feel isolated from some of my friends and that triggered fears of never being a mom is actually a blessing?! Crazy talk! That is why I felt such shock when I read the quote and equated it to my life in terms of the infertility. To realize that I was actually grateful was a jaw dropper. Infertility = gift. I think of all the people we would have never met. I have some new friends in my life that I wonder how I used to function without and they are all friends I met through adoption. Damon and I would have never started a team with Common Threadz to raise money for orphans in Africa. I know that when I was in my state of confusion I found several blogs of women who had opened up about their struggles with infertility and I clung to their every word. It was free therapy for me and I am so very thankful to them. I recognize that infertility and the implications of infertility may always be something that will linger and will be a loss I will have to process. I am not naive to that. However, to be grateful for this process and all it has blessed me with is something inside of me that I can't ignore and is something that I want to pass on.

At the end of yoga the instructor always says, "Namaste." There are several versions of the English translation but it was originally explained to me as, "the light within me honors the light within you." That is how I am feeling in THIS moment.

From me to you. Peace.

Team Buster

Damon here…

Emily started this blog quite a while ago to connect with new friends in the adoption community and to keep our family and friends posted on our adoption journey. I never thought that I would end up posting anything, but here it goes.

This adoption journey has opened our eyes to the huge need to draw attention to the worldwide orphan crisis. What has happened in Haiti has temporarily put the orphan crisis in the spotlight but it doesn't stop with Haiti. This is an ongoing problem throughout the world and it is not something that can be solved by adoption alone. We are trying to do what we can to help the orphans of Africa.

Y0u may have noticed the new addition to the side bar on the right. Over the holidays I became aware of a charity and really liked what they were doing. Common Threadz supports orphaned children in South Africa and the local community. For every shirt that they sell, a school uniform is provided for a child; For every bracelet that is sold, a school uniform is provided for a child; For every $10 donation that is made, a pair of shoes is provided for a child. The bracelets and shoes are made locally in Africa.

For $10 you can provide a child with a pair of shoes. Instead of going out to eat at lunch, provide a child with a pair of shoes. Instead of drinking Starbucks coffee this week, provide a child with a pair of shoes.

How far does our network of friends reach? How many children can we help and enable to attend school? I have created a team at Common Threadz - Team Buster to try and answer that question. They have a goal of donating 250 pairs of shoes by the middle of February. They are almost half way there.. Let’s see if we can help them meet their goal.