Two Trips

It is still crazy to me that we are home and that there is an actual baby living in our house. There were days when I questioned whether that would ever happen. So far I think things are going relatively well. LB is still a bit jet lagged and we have to limit his naps during the day or else he won't want to sleep much at night. We went to the doctor on Monday because I thought he was having serious breathing problems from his respiratory infection and was told he just "has a cold" and actually "doesn't sound that bad." Oh. First time mama syndrome I guess. He is eating like a champ and loves to play in the exersaucer! We haven't really settled into a routine yet but I am sure that will come with time. For now, I am just focusing on enjoying his smile and making sure his needs are met.

As one of the first Gladney families to complete the two trip process, I thought it might be helpful to waiting families if I spent some time reflecting on the experience and what I thought we did and didn't do well. My perspective is obviously one of not having any other children at home, which I am sure increases the burden. Shockingly (insert sarcastic tone), my feelings about the two trips are quite different than my initial reaction. Are you ready for this? I am actually glad we had to go twice. Of course, the added expense blows and saying goodbye to him was hard but for me the pros outweighed the cons. Ideally, we could have just stayed in between the trips since our turnaround time was so short but we both had commitments here at home. I think since we were so busy during the two weeks we were home that it made waiting to go back much easier.

For me, the greatest thing about the first trip was the ability to really explore and see Addis. On the second trip I wanted to just be with LB and was nervous about leaving him with a caregiver. I knew I would be that way and actually had anxiety about that pre-referral and before the process changed. I had read about all the cultural activities that Gladney had planned, which was great, but worried how I would handle leaving him after just meeting him. Deep down I knew it was the right thing so I would be able to see his country and experience the culture but I still worried about it. The two trips alleviated all of that. The first trip was a true gift. We spent a whole day outside of Addis in the countryside, shopped like crazy, went out to eat, bought art, toured two churches and so much more. Most importantly, we developed a love and respect for our son's homeland that we can share with him in the future. As expected, on the second trip we spent most of our time at the guest house just chilling with LB, the other families and the Bejoe staff. There were some group outings and we did hire a caregiver one afternoon so we could run some errands but I didn't feel guilty about hunkering down because we did so much the first time around.

We booked almost the exact same flight path the second time around and for me that lessened the anxiety of traveling with him because we knew the Frankfurt and Chicago airports pretty well. We figured out on the first trip that we would need more time when we first landed in the US to go through customs and immigration because we had to book it to our gate the first time and barely made our flight. I would suggest 3.5 hours at a minimum for your layover if you have to change planes and make a domestic flight. Since all families will now meet their child/children before court the VISA is different and they come home on an IR-3 VISA, which means your child will become a US citizen when you go through immigration in the US. Another good perk in my opinion. We thought we needed to go through the immigrant/VISA holder line when landing in Chicago but actually it doesn't matter and you can go through the US Passport side. It seemed in Chicago the US Passport holder line was much faster so I would recommend that. After you get your bags then they will send you over to another area where all the paperwork gets processed and your child becomes a citizen! LB slept through the whole thing. I had visions of taking a picture of him holding an American flag but I forgot my little flag and they don't let you take pictures in that area. oh well. It was pretty anti-climatic. But it does take a little time so it's important to factor that into your return travel plans.

Okay, more advice to come later. I'll leave you with the smile that brightens my day.