The second time around we arrived in Addis in the evening on Saturday the 14th. Travis, one of the Gladney in-country employees, and Henock met us at the airport. We were so happy to see Henock's smiling face again! This was our first time to meet Travis as he was back in the states with his family when we were there for the first trip. Travis let us know that he would bring our guy over to the guest house the next morning for placement. We were less than 24 hours away from officially starting our life as a family of three! If you can believe it we did manage to get some sleep that night and even slept in a bit! I am not sure if that is because we had met LB before and/or our bodies knew that we wouldn't get the chance to sleep through the night again for a while or what. But I was happy we slept. It is hard to explain how crazy it was to be sitting in the living room at the guest house, chatting with the other families and knowing that at any moment Travis would be driving through the gate and parenthood would begin.
Here is that moment.
My heart just ached for him because you could tell he was so unsure. He whimpered a lot and he just had such a scared look in his eyes. He was in a new place with new people and I just wanted to be able to tell him it would be okay. Travis assured us that his reaction was normal and that it was good he was crying it out initially. I would say all throughout the first day he would go in and out of being okay and being scared. It was tough not knowing what each cry meant. Was he hungry, sleepy, gassy or just plain scared. The first night was especially hard because you could tell when he woke up that he had no clue where he was and that he was afraid. His eyes just darted all over the place looking for something familiar and there was nothing. All we could do was hold him until he got too tired to cry anymore. It was gut wrenching. I think D and I were both relieved when morning came and each night after that got easier. These days when I peek over his crib after a nap he will flash me his heart melting smile and stretch his arms up towards me. Progress is a wonderful thing!
We will always celebrate August 15th as our Family Day, the day our son was placed in our arms forever!
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SUCH a special day! it's so crazy, just like everything in adoption... you are SO EXCITED to have this little guy and at the same time feel SO BAD for him :-( progress IS wonderful thing! how sweet it must be to see your little man smiling back at you now!
ReplyDeleteomgosh what special photos! he is so tiny there. so cute.
ReplyDeleteSo sad for these tiny guys! I can only imagine how scary this is for them. We have loved them since referral (even before actually) and they never even knew about us! Our 6 month old was so scared too! Now it has been 6 months since we have been home, and all he says is mama & dada, there are some days I can't believe how far we have come since that sad day!! God Bless your family, glad it's getting better!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Tera
Hooray for Ezra Day! These photos made me tear up! So sweet. Thank you for sharing them with us! Hard to believe that our "Jeremy and Zachary Day" will be TOMORROW!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great day!!! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteEmily - I think of you and Damon constantly and am always wondering how you are doing. Ezra (love the name by the way!) is just so gorgeous, and I can't even imagine the emotions you must have felt by seeing him be so scared. But it sounds like he already knows you're his mama, and it must be the best feeling in the world to see that smile from his crib when he wakes up.
ReplyDeleteI hope the adjustment is going really well, and that you are loving motherhood. Seriously, it's the biggest change in the world, and I can't imagine a harder job than being a mom. But I have no doubt that you are absolutely wonderful!
Also, I loved your perspective on the two trips. :)
So happy to hear things are progressing! We also experienced such fear in our little guy's face that first night and will NEVER forget it. Yay for Ezra Day and all the positive things to come!
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you :)
xo
I'm crying. I'm so happy for you guys. It is bittersweet. You hate to see your little one be sad. I'm so grateful that he has loving parents! You guys are so blessed!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me cry all over again, two years later! I'm so happy you got your dream-come-true! What a precious family you three are! (By the way, that photo of Damon getting choked up...amazing moment captured on camera!)
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