Spaghetti Sensory Bin

This was by far one of the best activities I have done with LB. It is a must do! I got the idea for it here and here. In both cases, they did more than just spaghetti. One of the sites suggested letting the kids paint the spaghetti when they got bored and the other one added spices to give it to color. Since this was our first time we just stuck with the plain old spaghetti. Also it was a rainy day and if we added the color component then I probably would have wanted to take the bin outside. I just don't trust LB yet to keep the color contained. Maybe when he is a little older. It was really fun to watch the progression of how he played with the spaghetti. I wish I could have captured the look on his face when I first poured the spaghetti into the bin. It was a look of both bewilderment and delight. Priceless.

Here's what we did. I cooked one box of regular spaghetti. Then I put some towels and the rubbermaid bin on the kitchen floor. I let the pasta cool and made sure I ran lots of cold water over it so that it wouldn't be hot to the touch or be super sticky. Then I poured it in the bin. That's it. I tried not to say too much at first and just let LB decide what to do.

This is sort of the look I got when I first put the spaghetti in the bin but not quite. As you can tell, he is pretty happy about it.

The first thing he did was try a bite. Totally acceptable with this activity.

It took him a few minutes before he decided to sit and really investigate. I am not sure if he was keeping his distance at first or what.

Finally he sits and really starts to explore. He started by just running his fingers through the noodles.

I love the look on his face in this picture! We decided it was raining spaghetti and he thought that was pretty hilarious.

The raining went on for quite some time.

The other great thing he did was hide his hands in the spaghetti. He started by just hiding one and would then pull it out and say, "there!" He also asked me do it and then we hid both of his hands at the same time. In this picture he is trying to hide his elbow so he is really sinking his arm deep in the noodles. LB recently learned how to say "elbow" so I think that is why he wanted to hide it. Funny kid.

He played with the spaghetti for a little over 30 minutes and he loved every minute of it. When he was done I dumped the spaghetti in the trash, put the towels in the laundry and that was it. We had so much fun that I went to the store over the weekend and got another cheap box of spaghetti. 

Perhaps I'll get brave next time and let him try and paint the spaghetti. I have a feeling it could either be really awesome or a total disaster. I'll let you know!

Privilege

I remember the first time that I really thought about the word privilege and what it means in our society. It was my first year in college and I had read an article about male privilege. It definitely got me all fired up. The article discussed how a man could walk to his car in a parking lot at night and not fear that he might get raped. And that no matter how hard a woman worked it was likely she would earn less than a male counterpart. I remember that a lot of the men that read the same article got defensive about it. I think that is the normal reaction when someone brings up a privilege you have simply by being born the way you are. You didn't ask for the privilege but it is yours nonetheless. But it's not an attack. It's just the way it is and the only way we can better ourselves is to talk about it. I am ashamed that I don't remember this discussion of privilege including race or my privilege as a white woman.

It's definitely hard to point out to someone when you feel like they are saying something racist or that their position on an issue comes from their privilege of being white. For LB's sake, I must get better at this. I recently saw a great Youtube video about this very issue. It's hard to make this point and not feel like you are telling the person that they are a bad person or racist but just that there is a problem with what they said. The speaker in the video makes a great analogy to pointing out racist comments and hygiene. To paraphrase, he says that just because you tell a friend that they have something in their teeth doesn't mean you are calling them unclean. But it's so hard for people to not get defensive when it comes to race. Sadly, in most cases the person with the racism in their teeth doesn't thank the other person for letting them know. I actually experienced a moment with a co-worker several years ago when we actually were able to discuss race without defensiveness or confrontation. Our company had a relationship with a predominantly African American college that is nearby. We had just been notified that classes that day were cancelled because students from that university had a violent altercation with students from another African American university that was in the same town. I don't remember her exact words but my co-worker said that due to the violent nature of their actions that the students shouldn't be in college. I paused for a moment and thought about her words. I got the sense her comments were largely based on the students' race. I am very rarely quick to come up with the right words in those situations. I tend to freeze and then think of the right thing to say 20 minutes after the fact. I asked her if she thought it was any different than white fraternity boys at Ohio State burning up couches in the street when they lose a football game. (I was very proud of myself for drawing that analogy.) She stopped for a minute and thought about it and realized that she misspoke. She said, "You're right. There is no difference. I get what you are saying." Sadly, most discussions about race don't go that smoothly.

Now that I am a woman raising a black child, privilege has jumped to the forefront of my thoughts again. And I'm all fired up. Again. I hope you have heard about the 17 year old boy in Florida, Trayvon Martin, who was recently murdered because someone thought he looked suspicious. I probably don't even need to tell you that this young man was black because white people are rarely accused of looking suspicious. Situations like this that force me to come face to face with my own privilege literally make me sick to my stomach. I am the first to admit that my initial reaction to stories like this in the news is to be shocked. But why should I be shocked? I imagine those who live without this privilege or work in this field are not the least bit shocked. But my privilege affords me that reaction. Several months ago, I read an article in the New York Times about an African American male who lives in New York and he recounted several times he had been stopped by police officers for not doing anything out of the ordinary. We were visiting my in-laws when I read it and I had a conversation about it with my father in law, who is African American. I was expressing disbelief and disgust and yet he was not at all surprised by what had happened to this gentleman. My white privilege slapped me in the face. As a white woman, I don't ever worry if I will be attacked because someone thinks I don't belong or that I look suspicious. I know that LB will have to deal with these things and it scares me.

I have to come clean and tell you that I recently got a little defensive about my white privilege. I was telling my sister about an incident involving D's cousin being called the n-word. Obviously, the whole situation really upset me. I was telling my sister how surprised I was that it happened in D's hometown. He grew up in a very liberal, open minded community and that open mindedness was appealing to D's parents as an interracial couple in the 70s. I was naive to think it couldn't happen there. My sister's reaction was one of, "Well, of course, it can happen there. That word is used everywhere." I kept trying to remind her, in a defensive tone, that D's hometown was so accepting and that is why his parents moved there over 30 years ago. I have my own work to do when it comes to privilege.

I am so grateful that LB has African American family members that can help him navigate this broken world that we live in. I will do my best but I know I can never truly understand. I haven't lived it. But D's father has. I will never forget the day he asked me how my parents felt about me dating D. We had been together for a while but our parents hadn't met yet. At first, I didn't understand what he meant. But then I realized that it was about D being bi-racial. I told him that they were fine with it. The look of relief in his dad's face is one that brings me to tears still to this day. His eyes showed how grateful he was that his son wouldn't have to endure what he did.

The man who shot Trayvon Martin has yet to be arrested. Please sign this petition to help bring justice to this case. "Being quiet is not an option, for we have been too quiet for too long." - Michael Skolnick


My thoughts and prayers are with the Martin family.

Fishing Snack

Thank goodness for the internet. I am not sure how people used to parent without it. There are so many good ideas out there and I have been taking full advantage. Last week we used celery, peanut butter and goldfish crackers and had the best time. Side note: If I ever decide that LB needs to try a gluten free diet then goldfish crackers will most definitely be the hardest thing to eliminate. He is addicted! Side Note Part 2: He won't a eat a goldfish cracker if it is dented or has a hole in it. He flat out rejects it. So weird.

Back to our fun snack. I put some peanut butter in one bowl, goldfish crackers in another bowl and then gave LB a few celery sticks. I told him we were fishing and showed him how to dip the celery in the peanut butter first and then the crackers. LB loves to dip so this was a good activity for him. I also knew he would be super excited about having two celery sticks because he is obsessed with having two of things. Another bonus to this snack is that it gave him practice eating two types of textures. LB still struggles with this on occasion. I was hoping he would take a bite of the celery but he never did. After a while he didn't want to use the celery sticks and switched to just dipping the fish in the peanut butter. Not as fun bit definitely more efficient. Here he is in action.

Shoes

I shared this photo on Facebook last week but it's too funny not to share here as well. As I was putting away groceries, LB decided to play with the shoes that were by the back door. (Since I lived in Japan and was possibly Japanese in a former life, it is our custom to remove our shoes when we get home.) When I realized what LB had done I made him stand by his creation so I could take a picture. If you know D then you won't be surprised to hear that he was quite pleased with what LB had done.

Score one point for nurture!

Activity Fail

Last week I tried a sensory activity with LB that I have been wanting to do for a while. Sadly, it was a total fail! I got the idea from one of my favorite websites for toddler sensory activities. She calls it Cloud Dough. LB loves his play dough so I was convinced this would also be a hit. I decided we would do it outside and that may have contributed to it's demise. However, it was very messy and I am not sure how I would have contained all of the flying flour if we did it inside. The idea is that you mix flour and oil to create a moldable dough. I brought out some bowls and spoons and cookie cutters and I thought we would at least get 30 minutes of good play out of it. LB played with it for a whopping 5 minutes. Boo! His favorite part was helping me dump cups of flour into the bin. It's also possible that LB is still a bit young for this. Perhaps it is a better activity for three year olds. I will definitely try this again when LB is a little older and I think I will also try and find a way to do it inside. LB is very distracted by sticks, rocks, dirt and open areas to just run. For me, the key to doing it inside will be mixing the dough while LB is asleep and then just introducing it to him as is. Letting him help pour the flour is what made it so messy in this case. As you can see in the photos he was covered in flour.

After about five minutes of playing in the dough he was off and running. Literally. Luckily, it was a nice day and we still had fun doing the usual outside stuff like.....

playing with sticks,

digging in the dirt,

running into the neighbor's yard,

dragging sticks in the dirt,

playing with outside toys,

running AND pushing,

blowing bubbles

and then dumping the bubble solution all over our shoes.

Have I mentioned that this kid loves to be outdoors? Yes, I think I have.

**Update. I wrote this post while LB was napping. After his nap we went straight outside. I had left the cloud dough bin in the garage to be cleaned at a later date. LB spotted it and asked to play with it. I brought it out and he messed around with it for about 15 minutes. So it still wasn't as long as I would like but I think it was a good sensory experience. I have to remind myself that even if something doesn't occupy his interest for a long time doesn't mean it wasn't worth our time to do. All of that to say, there is hope for cloud dough.

Connecting Dots

In November, I posted about my encounter with an Ethiopian gentleman at a restaurant near our home. To refresh your memory, I was telling the nice man at the restaurant how I wanted to return to Ethiopia and he told me that if I did then I needed to visit a specific village in the south. That village happened to be where LB's Ethiopian family lives. It was an amazing moment. Most of the Ethiopians I have asked about his village have never heard of it.

Well, it turns out that there is a part two to this story. Just a few weeks later, I was perusing a Facebook group I am a member of that consists of parents who have adopted from Ethiopia. A woman posted that she had taken a recent trip to the southern part of Ethiopia and listed some names of places where she took several photos in case people were interested in seeing them. One of the places she mentioned I knew was close to his home village. Even though it wasn't the exact place I was still interested so I emailed her. I got a quick response back from her and as it turns out she also went to LB's home town and had several photos!!! She told me she would email a link to the photos. Viewing the photos made me extremely emotional.  As I scrolled through them, I couldn't help but look for LB's face in the images. It is more beautiful than I could have imagined. This kind woman gave us such a gift. D and I made a firm commitment to ourselves and to LB that we WILL go back to Ethiopia but until that time comes I am so grateful to see the beauty through her photos. Since they are not mine, I won't post them here. However, if you are interested in seeing a few of them then HERE is a link to her blog post where she shares some of them. Everything is so green and lush and simply breathtaking. I long for the day when we can go. I still can't get over that in a matter of weeks both of these events occurred. Amazing!

I hope that over time we can continue to connect more of these dots for LB. I have a close friend travelling to the southern part of Ethiopia later this year and she is going to try and take photos of the hospital where he was born. I know that it may never feel like enough but I want to fill in the blanks as much as possible. There are certain things I imagine we may never know, like the time of day he was born and what the weather was like that day. Since it was January in Ethiopia I can guess 70s, sunny and perfect but who knows. Can you imagine not being able to tell your child the time they were born or how much they weighed at birth? They seem like such simple facts that most parents probably take for granted. I think of all that I know about my own birth. I could tell you little things like my mom watched re-runs of I Love Lucy to distract herself from labor pains and that the doctor was happy I was born before the end of the business day. But I am not going to let my sadness about those things negate how I happy I am to have these photos. I'm so grateful and I pray that someday this sweet face will see the beauty in it as well.

All Dressed Up

On February 25th, D and I attended a fundraiser for Ethiopian Orphan Relief. The event was a huge success and I was so honored to be a small part of it. EOR partners with organizations that are already on the ground in Ethiopia and they raise money for specific purposes. One thing that is important to me is that our money goes towards long term, sustainable projects like education, improved medical care and clean water. Those are exactly the type of projects that EOR funds. It was fun to get dressed up and spend an evening with friends while raising money for EOR. Most of the evening was spent bidding on silent auction items and enjoying the food and music. D and I invited a couple of our friends that besides being friends with us and knowing LB have no other connection to Ethiopia. At one point in the evening the guests were asked to raise their paddles to pledge money for projects benefitting an organization that EOR works closely with called Children's Heaven. They currently support 80 girls in Addis Ababa. To see these friends raise their paddles for something so close to my heart was a very emotional moment for me. I'll never forget it. Thanks to Harcar Photography there is even documentation that I put on a dress and heels! I cannot remember the last time I wore a dress and heels. And I am not sure how I ended up with such a handsome man as my date. If you are in the central Ohio area, mark your calendars for next year's event - February 23rd, 2013. 

Here is a link to the video that they showed at the event highlighting some of EOR's recent projects.

Night of Warmth 2012

If you feel so inclined you can click HERE to donate to EOR.

Thank you EOR for a wonderful and inspiring evening!