Unexpected Questions

Before Ezra came home I read about lots of crazy questions random strangers would ask parents that had adopted transracially. I started to prepare myself for when people would ask me stuff like, "is he your's?" I am shocked to say that in the seven months we have been home with Ezra I haven't received any questions like that. Zero. I have received a few intrusive questions about his background but even those questions have been few and far between. When we first came home I remember going into grocery stores and practically bracing myself for what I considered to be the inevitable. I am sure those questions will come and actually Kevin Hofmann, a transracial adoptee, wrote a blog post recently about the grocery store questions that I found to be very helpful. I recommend clicking over and reading his post. We do get a lot of comments about Ezra. One of the bazillion things I love about Ezra is that he brings out a smile in anyone. Anywhere I go people just look at him and smile. It always happens! We get a lot of comments like, "what a cutie" or "look at those eyes." Most people just say something nice and then go on their way. There are two questions that we get asked very frequently and they are not what I expected.

Popular Question #1:

How old is she? Yes, you read that correctly. She. A lot of people mistake Ezra for a girl. I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me a little bit. I don't know why it bothers me but it does. He is certainly very cute and I suppose some people think super cute equals girl. A woman who made that mistake recently told me it was the eyes. His eyelashes are long. I suppose another reason is that I dress him in a lot of bright colors. I think he looks good in yellow and orange and green. But I don't think I dress him girlie. Who knows. To me he looks very boyish.

Popular Question #2:

This one needs a little background. During the week I often meet up with my friend, Amy, and her son, Tesfa. I would say we try and see each other about once a week. Tesfa was also adopted from Ethiopia and he is about 2 months younger than Ezra. Even though Tesfa is younger they are about the same size. I have lost count as to how many times we have been asked this question:

Are they twins? If you click here you can go over to Amy's blog and see a picture of Tesfa. Are you back? Just in case you forgot what Ezra looks like (ha!) here is a recent picture.

Okay, so in other peoples' defense I will concede that they are both brown, cute and the same size. Ezra told me he is flattered that people think he looks like Tesfa. I agree.

However, in my opinion they don't look like twins! I really think that people ask that question because they are trying to figure out why two white women are out with two brown babies. Right? The scenario they come up with in their head is that they must be twins. So what does that make Amy and me? Sisters? Partners? (The most recent time this happened Amy told me that she came very close to calling me, "honey." That is one of the many reasons Amy is so awesome - her sense of humor!) Amy and I usually laugh it off but it is sad in a way that people can't expand their mind. To be fair, maybe a few years ago I would have made that assumption too. Adoption is probably not at the forefront of people's minds. That's okay. But I think the next time we get asked this question my response will be, "why do you ask?" Is that mean? Am I over-analyzing the situation? (It's been known to happen.) What do you think?