Our Little Buster

Small Victories

2012-01-25T13:50:00.000-05:00

I am slowly learning that parenting is all about the small victories. Yesterday morning we had one of those moments. Ezra had his 2 year well check-up and I was feeling some anxiety about it in the days leading up to his appointment. He does not have a good track record at the doctor's office. Ezra is a sensitive little guy and is especially sensitive to touch. The decibel level of his screaming has been painful in the past. His 15 month check-up still haunts me. I was dreading this appointment. Before we left we were up in his room playing. Ezra pulled out his bin that has the doll my mom got him for his first Christmas. It was a great doll to use to help teach Ezra his body parts. He calls the doll, "baby." We are not very creative with our doll and stuffed animal naming around here. The idea came to me to start pretending the doll was at the doctor's office. I showed Ezra how I was looking in the doll's ears and checking the doll's boo boos. Ezra is very interested in boo boos these days. Sadly, he wasn't super into this game but he did pay attention. In order to get Ezra out the door, I had to tell a little fib. I told him we were going to the store. He loves running errands and car rides. It wasn't a total lie because we did go to the store on the way to the doctor's office. I knew he would never get in the car with me if I told him the full truth. Judge if you must. I suggested that we bring the baby doll with us and he agreed that was a good plan.

I have learned with Ezra that he does much better with things if we talk about it a little ahead of time. He doesn't like surprises. As we got closer, I disclosed that we were going to see the doctor. He got a look on his face. I told him that it woud be okay and that I would be there the whole time. I explained the doctor would check his belly, ears and eyes. I had him point to those body parts on baby. I think I often underestimate how much he understands so I decided not to hold back much information. I felt so terrible because he had a nervous look on his face the entire rest of the drive there. But looking back I do think it helped that I talked to him about it ahead of time.

Ezra was fine in the waiting room but the second the nurse came out and called his name he clung to me for dear life. We took the baby doll back with us and the nurse knew exactly what to do. Clearly, I was not the first parent to bring a doll to the doctor's office. She really got into it and talked to Ezra about his baby. Before she did anything to Ezra she did it to baby first. She even put the baby on the scale and took the baby's head circumference. It was pretty hysterical. And it worked! Ezra sat very still on the scale instead of trying to lurch towards me and he didn't squirm and scream when she took his head circumference. When she left and we were waiting for the doctor Ezra kept asking to go home. I think he thought the nurse's quick exam was it. I pulled out my phone and he sat on my lap and watched Elmo while we waited for the doctor. I think that helped too. His doctor came in and she also really spent some quality time with baby. For the first time ever, Ezra was totally quiet and still while she listened to his heart. She even commented that it was the first time she got to really listen to his heart. Ezra was still not a fan of the ear exam but he didn't scream. Sweet Victory!! He was, of course, very eager to put his clothes back on and get the heck out of there. The second he picked up on the fact that the doctor was wrapping up he repeatedly told her, "bye bye." As we left, I kept telling him how proud I was and that he was so strong and brave. I think from the look on his face that he was proud too. Baby will be coming with us to all future doctor appointments. I know a lot of parents do it but the idea really didn't come to me until that morning. Thank goodness it did. Afterwards, we celebrated his bravery and went to Starbucks and shared some pumpkin bread. As my friend, Paige, wisely said, "it's the little victories that seem like huge mountains."

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-25T12:51:00.000-05:00

Basement Project

2012-01-19T15:03:00.000-05:00

When we bought our house in September we knew one of the first things we wanted to do was finish the basement. I am terrible at visualizing things but Damon is very good at it. He saw lots of potential in the basement. I trusted him since that part of my brain doesn't work. It's the same part of the brain that helps you pack tons of bags in a small trunk or decide which tupperware container to use for leftovers. I fail at all of those things. We got a recommendation for a great contractor and he and Damon put together the plans. I just hoped it would be finished before the weather got terrible so that Ezra would have more space to play during the day. Thankfully our winter has been pretty mild so far and the bulk of it was finished while we were in Oklahoma for the holidays. Damon painted when we got back (I helped a little) and carpet was installed last week. It's finally done!

Here are some before photos:

In process:

Finished:

Totally transformed! Obviously, we still have a little decorating to do but it's a really great space. Ezra loves it and we spend a lot of our time down there. The main thing we got Ezra for Christmas was a kitchen. We decided to wait to give it to him until the basement was finished. I wish I would have captured the look on his face when we brought him downstairs for the first time. He even said, "wow!" It seriously was like Christmas morning around here.

One of the best features of the basement is the little hiding place under the stairs. It's so Harry Potter. The contractor put a little light in there for Ezra and he thinks it is the coolest place in the world. I tend to agree. Originally, we thought we would put some of his toys in there but it's just too good of a hiding place.

I'm so glad it is done and the result is way more than I hoped. Thank goodness I married someone with vision!

TWO!

2012-01-16T20:35:00.000-05:00

Ezra will be two tomorrow! Happy Birthday to my sweet boy!

I am embracing my inner nerd and am doing a pretend interview with Ezra in honor of his second birthday. Even though his vocabulary is expanding by the minute, I don't think he would quite understand an interview. But I think I know him pretty well and can answer for him. Here it goes.

1. What is your favorite color?
Purple

2. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A pilot or a soccer player or both.

3. Who do you look up to?
My friend, Griffin. See photos.

4. What is your favorite food?
Humous

5. What is your favorite song?
Down by Jay Sean and Lil Wayne. My Aunt Bebe introduced me to this song at Christmas and I request to hear it and dance to it several times a day. I know exactly where to find it on my mom's phone.

6. What are some of your best memories from this past year?
One would be when my mom and I were almost in a car accident on the highway. This was very exciting as my mom exhibited road rage and used the horn. I relive this memory daily as I say, "No no car. Beep beep!" It was awesome.

We moved to a new house this year and I didn't really like it at first. There were lots of new noises and I was very skeptical. It was a lot of change. But now I like it and there is a park right down the street from our new house. When the weather is nice we go there and I have learned to go down the slide by myself and climb several steps on the big toy. I can run around in all the grass and there are tons of leaves to play with. I ask my mom to go there even when it is raining and snowing but she says no.

I also got to take several plane rides to Oklahoma. I loved looking out the window as we went up into the clouds. The people I see when we get off the plane are pretty cool too.

7. What don't you like?
I don't like loud noises that startle me. I also don't like it when other kids cry and scream. It makes me do the same thing. I also really dislike diaper changes and getting dressed.

8. What is your favorite show on tv?
Elmo's World

9. What are some things you have learned how to do recently?
I am starting to put several words together to make short sentences. Before Christmas I was at the store with my mom and there were two blow-up Santas. I call Santa, "ho ho ho." I had to say goodbye to the two Santas so I said, "bye two hos." My mom laughed and said it was good no one else heard me say that. I am not sure why it was so funny.
I know that if there is more than one of something then it is two. I learned to put two in front of a lot of my favorite words. I say, "two cars" and "two purples" and more stuff like that.
I am very adept at working electronics. Perhaps better than some of my grandparents. I can turn on my mom's phone and call people over and over. We used to have an ipad and I could use it very well but mom said I got carried away. She took it. She tells me that the ipad is at my grandma's house now. But I am not sure if she is telling the truth.
I can jump with both feet off the ground and I am good at hoping. I can recognize when I am going pee.
I may be small but I have a strong left footed kick.

10. What do you think your mom would say are some of her favorite things about you?
My mom loves the time we spend together before I go down for a nap. We sit on the rocking chair and sing each other songs. I sing songs about Elmo and my dad. We tell each other what we are going to dream about and I usually tell her something goofy like the humous store or cars going beep beep.

She also appreciates my good manners. I say thank you all the time, even when I give her something. Recently, I was sick and went to the doctor. When we got to the car I was a mess because I don't like the doctor poking and prodding and I had a fever and I was very tired. I requested juice and when my mom gave it to me I said, "thank you" in a very pathetic but sweet voice. My mom loved that I still said thank you despite my illness.

I am a great dancer and have some pretty legit moves. My mom loves it when we have a dance party.

She loves my big personality and giant belly laugh.

My mom says she could go on and on about all the things she and my dad love about me. My mom tells me all the time how grateful they are to be my parents.
Happy 2nd Birthday to me!

Emerging

2012-01-12T13:50:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year!!

Unfortunately, we spent 1/1/2012 at Urgent Care. Not exactly the way I wanted to start the new year. We flew back to Columbus on New Year's Eve and I had been congested the whole time we were away. I will never fly congested ever again! About halfway through our second flight I experienced excruciating pain in my ear. Luckily, Ezra was asleep on Damon's lap so I was able to sit in silence and breathe through the pain. I was convinced my ear drum had ruptured. It turns out that wasn't the case but my ear drum is apparently out of place and infected. Then Ezra got sick and Damon had been fighting off a cold as well. We were a hot mess. Less than 24 hours after we had arrived home my mom had booked a flight to come rescue us. Thank God I have the world's best mom. I cannot even begin to express how much it meant it me. We talked around 10am the morning of the 1st and she walked in my door at 9pm that night. Like I said, she is the best. My mom stayed for a week and got us back on our feet and functioning again. This is what we looked like when she arrived.

I am swallowing major amounts of pride by sharing this photo with you but the look on Ezra's face makes me laugh. It didn't make me laugh then but it does now. He looks so pissed at the world. As do I. He had a fever and an ear infection.

Poor guy! I think my mom had just changed his diaper and he was so tired he rolled over and fell asleep on the floor.

Moms and Grandmas make it all better. I have decided there should be a universal law that mom and baby can't be sick at the same time.

Thankfully, we seem to be emerging from the dark of cloud of sickness. My ear still isn't right but it is better and I just hope it improves each day.

Cheers to a new year filled with health and happiness!

Santa Visit 2011

2011-12-24T16:26:00.000-05:00

We seem to have started a Christmas tradition of visiting Santa on Christmas Eve. Luckily, Ezra wasn't scared and he even cracked a smile when Santa said, "ho ho ho." The series of photos is pretty similar to last year except Ezra looks like a little person this year and not a baby. Sigh.

When Ezra woke up from his nap this afternoon, I asked him what he dreamed about and he smiled and said, "ho ho ho." He even pointed to his lap. I love that he remembers what he got to do this morning. That's the stuff parents dreams of.

Merry Christmas!

Ode to Bebe

2011-12-16T14:09:00.000-05:00

When Ezra and I went to Tulsa in October, he came up with a name for my sister, Abby. He calls her, "Bebe." It is just about the cutest thing. Ever. He now brings up her name at least once a day and usually several times. Luckily, we will see her next week so I can tell Ezra that we will see her soon. That seems to help. And when it doesn't he calls her on the phone without me knowing and says "hi" over and over again into the phone.

If Ezra could write this is what he would say about his Aunt Bebe.

Bebe is the best because:
Whenever I want to see her belly button she always shows me. My mom tires of this. Bebe does not.
She does hand motions to "row, row, row your boat" and that is very fun. She sings other songs with hand motions too. She also does a variation of Peek-a-Boo that is hilarious.
Bebe loves cats. I love cats. She buys me books about cats. I call them Bebe books.
She always drinks tea and I am fascinated by that little string that dangles from the cup. Every time someone drinks tea it makes me think of Bebe.
She is a very expressive reader.
Her laugh makes me laugh.
Bebe always complies with my desire to make funny faces at each other.
Some day I will enjoy all the stories she remembers about my mom.
She is kind and sweet.
I love her.

Love.

2011-12-13T13:20:00.002-05:00

I just ordered this print. It makes me cry big, fat tears. I got the tip from one of my favorite bloggers. You can order it from Sycamore Street Press.

HO HO HO

2011-12-12T12:25:00.000-05:00

We are getting into the Christmas spirit around here.

Nana

2011-12-10T13:50:00.001-05:00

One day last week I woke up feeling awful. Thankfully, Damon was able to take the day off work and decided that he and Ezra would go spend the day with his parents (aka Nana and Poppy). I am pretty sure that was the most alone time I have had since Ezra came home. I am not going to lie. Even though I wasn't feeling well, it was divine. While they were there Damon took some photos of Ezra and his Nana. They were too cute not to share.

Feeding Clinic Graduation

2011-12-07T13:25:00.001-05:00

The week before Thanksgiving Ezra graduated from the feeding clinic! He has come so far since he first started seeing his OT, Monica, earlier this year. Honestly, there were times I worried he would never move past pureed foods and recently he has tried and liked meatloaf, falafel and roast chicken! We are still going to visit Monica to continue working on some other things but he is done with the feeding clinic. YAY! I took a bunch of photos at his most recent appointment so that I could document all the exercises he will do in the OT room that he used to be scared of. Also, Ezra asks about Monica on a daily basis so I thought it would be nice to have some photos to show him when he is incessantly asking for, "kaka."

I love that Ezra always holds her hand as they walk back to the OT room together. Initially he would cling to me like crazy but now he stands in the waiting room and says "kaka" over and over until she comes to get him.

They do all sorts of work with therapy balls and Ezra will basically try anything. He may still be skeptical but he will almost always try. She has really gotten him to expand beyond his comfort zone in terms of movement and touch.

It was just in the past month or so that Ezra has decided he is no longer afraid of the sensory pitt. He will crawl to reach toys that Monica throws in the pit to help entice him to move.

Enjoying some quiet bubble time.

There is almost always swinging involved.

It's safe to say that he has a great time. I never thought I would be celebrating a graduation of sorts for Ezra before he turned 2. We are so proud of him. Cheers!

Pockets!

2011-11-20T14:20:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, Ezra discovered that his pants have pockets. He thinks they are the coolest thing ever and utilizes them quite often. Pretty darn cute!

Goosebumps!

2011-11-15T14:05:00.001-05:00

A pretty amazing thing happened this weekend. Here is how it began. Damon was craving Ethiopian food so we decided to meet our friends at one of the Ethiopian restaurants in town. I am really hoping that one of these days I will work up the courage to try and make Ethiopian food but for this occasion heading out to a restaurant was the obvious choice. I also just love watching Ezra eat injera. It makes my heart happy. Ezra wasn't very interested in sitting at the table when we first got there so rather than having a screaming child we chose to let him around the place. Most of the people there were Ethiopian and they didn't seem to mind that Ezra was running up and down the aisles. Some of them even spoke a little Amharic to him. Ezra was very generous in giving high fives and shouting "hi" to everyone he ran past. When the food arrived Ezra did behave and ate a lot of yellow split peas, carrots and injera. YAY!

Here is the part where you need to prepare yourself to experience serious goosebumps! After dinner Ezra was running around again and while I was chasing him I ended up talking to an older Ethiopian gentleman. He asked me where Ezra was from and I told him that he was from Awassa. (For those of you unfamiliar with Ethiopia, that is a capital of the Southern Region of Ethiopia.) Ezra was born in Awassa and his home village is not far from there. I always tell people he is from Awassa because most of the Ethiopians I have met haven't heard of his home village. The man started telling me how beautiful the southern region was and asked if I had been there. I told him that unfortunately we didn't make it there while we were in Ethiopia and that we spent the majority of our time in Addis. The man was from Addis so we talked about some of the things we saw and did while we were there. I expressed to him my strong desire to travel back to Ethiopia and to go to Awassa. He then proceeded to tell me that if I do go to Awassa then I need to go to a town not far from there. He then said the name of Ezra's home village! I asked him to repeat it to make sure I heard him correctly. And he said it very clearly. I told him that was Ezra's home village and was where his Ethiopian family lived. He was as shocked as me! He said it is very lush and beautiful. I was basically in a state of shock the whole night. Of all the villages in Ethiopia this man tells me that I have to go visit the place where my extended Ethiopian family lives. The place that any time I think about I have to hold back tears. The place where my heart lives. I just couldn't believe it. Damon and I talk about Ethiopia all the time and often when my mind is wandering before falling asleep I will think about Ethiopia. I feel like there is something more to our story involving Ethiopia. I can't quite connect all the dots yet but I do feel like I am getting closer. I just have to be patient in figuring it all out. Several days after that conversation I still just say to myself, "Wow!"

I ordered a new shirt for Ezra recently and since it was a warm day I decided Ezra should wear it. Given the events of the weekend, it just seemed appropriate.

I sure do love this string cheese eating, funny face making, Ethiopian boy of mine.

New Ride

2011-11-12T14:25:00.000-05:00

We have been very lucky in the hand-me-down department. Ezra's very well dressed cousin is just a few months older but significantly taller so that has worked out in our favor. Also, Damon's cousin, Kelli, has two boys and even though she lives in Illinois she always comes to Ohio with a car load of stuff for Ezra. I am sure Ezra could care less about the cute clothes he is receiving but on Kelli's latest trip she brought him a new ride. I wish I could have captured the look on his face the first time he took it for a spin. Priceless. The photo and video give you a pretty good idea as to how pleased Ezra is with his new found independence.

Fall 2011 Photo Shoot

2011-11-03T12:45:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, Ezra and I made a quick trip to Tulsa to spend some time with my parents and sister. Tulsa is really beautiful in the fall so I decided it would be a great time for our friend, Maggie, to take some photos of Ezra again. Last year we got really lucky and had a 70 degree day at the end of December. I knew it was doubtful that would happen again so we met Maggie at the park one of the mornings we were in town and thankfully Ezra was in the mood to light it up in front of the camera. Maggie did a fantastic job capturing his personality and these photos are truly priceless. I picked my 10 favorite, which was an impossible task.

My mother-in-law made the comment that the final photo is very symbolic in showing how far Ezra has come. You can't really see the beginning of the winding road but it is there off in the light and he is standing tall at the end of it. When she told me that I had to hold back tears because I could totally see what she was visualizing. I am very thankful to her for pointing that out to me.

Okay, so I have to share one more. When Maggie was done taking photos, Ezra and my mom were sharing a little hug. Maggie pulled out her camera and captured that brief moment. It might just be the sweetest photo I have ever seen.

Thank you, Maggie.

Halloween 2011 - Our Little Elmo

2011-10-31T21:00:00.001-04:00

At the end of the day, Halloween 2011 was a success. Around 1pm, I wasn't so sure there would be a Halloween 2011 for the Buster family. Neither Damon or I are the types of people that get excited about wearing costumes so it makes sense that Ezra wasn't so keen of costumes either. We had borrowed an elephant costume for him and it was super cute. However, I could not for the life of me get him to keep the head piece on. He would wear it for a max of 5.5 seconds and was then ripping it off his head. Without the head piece he would have been a grey blob with big feet for Halloween. To top it off, all morning Ezra was in teething pain and was not so fun to be around. I came close to calling our friends and telling them we were skipping Halloween. But then Ezra took a late nap and woke up in a pretty good mood. He agreed to wear his friend's Elmo costume from last year. (By agree, I mean he didn't kick and scream while we put it on him.) Thank goodness for Elmo. Ezra wasn't super thrilled with it but we got some smiles out of him and he tolerated the costume for close to an hour. Success! And he looked cute! He even went to a few houses and picked out candy for his dad.

On holidays that are so focused on kids I am reminded of what it felt like in the years when I was aching inside to be a mom. If you are one of those women then please know that I am thinking of you and sending love out into the universe for you this evening. I remember in 2009 when we were waiting for our referral I read this post as tears rolled down my face. I hoped that someday I would be the one holding my kid's hand as we went from house to house. I tried to soak all that up this evening as I watched our little Elmo clutch to his dad's hand as they trekked through the leaves. I can't tell you that I know it will happen for you someday because I don't know. But I can hope and pray for you. And I will.

Flashback Friday

2011-10-28T13:20:00.000-04:00

I watched this video on my phone yesterday and it made me smile. I took this on August 23rd, 2010 so we had only been home for a few days. He was so tiny! Please excuse my annoying voice.

Shapes - The Africa Edition

2011-10-27T13:00:00.001-04:00

Resume bragging.

My friend, Katie, made the above painting of Africa for Ezra soon after we received our referral. I love it! It hung in Ezra's room at our old house and is in the new house as well. (The photo is of his room in the old house. The bumbo is long gone. Tear.) When Ezra was around 15 months old, I started telling him that the painting was of Africa and that he was born there. After telling him that several times, he would point to the painting when I mentioned Africa. Then when he started saying more words he would point and say, "Akaka." My mom was here about a month ago and brought Ezra an Elmo on Safari coloring book. One of the pages had an outline of Africa. On a whim my mom pointed to the page and asked Ezra if he knew what it was. Without hesitation he said, "Akaka." I thought that was pretty good. It was a totally different context but he still knew the shape. To make sure it wasn't a fluke, yesterday I showed Ezra a new t-shirt I got for him that has Africa on it. (If you are interested in the shirt, you can order them HERE. Part of the proceeds go to Ethiopian Orphan Relief and the Mudula Water Project.) Again, Ezra right away said, "Akaka." It makes my heart happy that he knows that shape so well.

On our first full day in Ethiopia, we took a day trip north of Addis to a famous monastery called Debre Libanos. There were some really amazing views on the way there and so several times we got out of the car to get a better look. One of those times we were all of a sudden swarmed by children who were trying to sell us their handmade goods. We bought this little container and it lives on Ezra's dresser. It's right next to the lion in the photo.

Ezra likes to put stuff inside of it and close it and then open it again. It's a good game. One day he was looking inside the container and started pointing to the center part and then pointing to his belly button. He is a tad obsessed with his belly button or "bebo." I realized that he thought the center of the container was a belly button. It does in fact resemble a belly button. He does it every time we play with that container. I love the way his brain works!

End bragging. At least, shape related bragging.

Bragging - Shapes

2011-10-26T14:00:00.001-04:00

I need to take a few moments to brag about my boy. When Ezra was around 18 months old, he started to get really interested in puzzles. It isn't surprising since he loves to find things that are the same so matching the puzzle pieces with the pictures is a great activity for him. His favorite puzzle is a numbers one. The hard thing about the numbers puzzle is that you can't match it by a photo. You have to do it by the shape of the number. I know it is pretty common to think that your kid is smarter than the average bear but I was very impressed that he figured it out so quickly. Puzzle time is awesome for me because Ezra will actually sit still for a while. It's also been a great way to distract him when he is getting upset about something else. I will mention something about his puzzles and he will often forget about whatever it was that was making him mad.

He always likes to save the number 1 for last. I am not sure what that is about. He's all business when it is puzzle time.

We also worked a lot on a puzzle with shapes. When we first started doing it I tried to draw associations to some of the shapes. So I would point to the star and sing, "twinkle, twinkle little star." And I would point to the heart and tell him that hearts meant love and I would do the sign for love. I had no idea that he was actually absorbing this information. Sometimes I just talk to him in a teacher like way but assume the language is above his understanding. Well, a few weeks ago we were outside playing in the leaves. He pointed to the some of the leaves and did the sign for love. I had no idea what he was talking about. I kept asking him what was love and he would point to the leaves. I thought he had lost his mind. Finally, I got right at his eye level and realized that some of the leaves were sort of shaped liked hearts. Whoa. My kid is smarter than me.

Do you see the leaves in the bottom left corner of the photo? Those are the heart shaped ones.

A few days after the leaf incident we went to Macy's to buy some new towels. As we were walking up to the store Ezra starts doing the hand motions for "twinkle, twinkle" and I had no idea why he wanted to sing that all of a sudden. Until I saw the star next to Macy's. He notices way more than I do.

Okay, I'll stop bragging. And for a little balance I'll tell you a not so great story. This morning we went to the library for toddler time. It started out great. Then Ezra noticed another kid had a stuffed animal. He kept trying to steal it and I kept giving it back. I even tried moving to the other side of the room. Nope. Ezra only had eyes for that animal. He kept screaming every time I gave it back to the other kid. I told him he had to stop screaming or we were going bye-bye. What does he do? He shouts, "BYE!" to the entire room and walks over to the door. Awesome.

Pumpkin Picking

2011-10-09T13:55:00.001-04:00

We took Ezra to a local farm this morning to do some pumpkin picking. I had never been to this particular farm before so we weren't sure what to expect. I had grand visions of this expansive field full of pumpkins and we would take photos of Ezra climbing and sitting on the pumpkins. That wasn't really the case. Oh well. We still had a fun time. The highlight was definitely the hay ride. Although, Ezra might tell you the best part was "mooing" to the baby cow or going down the slide into a pit of hay. Either way it was a wonderful fall morning spent with two of my favorite guys.

Turned A Corner

2011-10-06T12:25:00.000-04:00

All week long Ezra has been asking for, "Kaka." That is Monica, his occupational therapist that we have been seeing weekly all summer. At our previous appointment she told me that Ezra was doing so well she thought we could move to every other week visits. Good news! But I really think Ezra missed seeing her last week and that is why he kept asking for her. This morning when we got in the car I told him we were going to see Monica and he started clapping! Ezra's love for Monica is such a perfect example as to how far he has come over the past couple of months. He was so apprehensive of her in the first several visits and would barely crack a smile as she tried to get him in the swings or bounce on the balls. It was a struggle to get him to sit in the high chair for more than 5 minutes. Ezra was very hesitant to even touch food he wasn't familiar with and if he did then it was just with one hand and he would keep the other hand safe. Two weeks ago I had to carry Ezra out of there in his diaper because he was covered head to toe in spaghetti! Monica put the spaghetti on the tray and he dived right in with both hands and put it in his mouth without thinking twice about it. I wish I had taken my camera that day! Monica said that she thinks in about a month or so Ezra will be a "typical" eater for a kid his age and that even a therapist wouldn't know that he had months of OT. Seriously, it brings tears to my eyes.

I would encourage anyone to seek out occupational therapy for their child if they are having feeding or any other sensory issues. It has made a huge difference for Ezra. The progress seemed very slow at first and there were days when I was extremely discouraged. I thought perhaps he would never move past pureed foods. I can pinpoint the exact day when Ezra turned a corner. We were at OT and Monica pulled some goldfish crackers out of her drawer. A lot of what she was working with Ezra on was getting familiar with touching the food and playing with it. She explained that touching and licking were the first steps and that eventually you work towards taking bites. So she put the goldfish on the tray and showed Ezra that if he pushed it with his thumb it would make a crunching sound. Ezra thought that was the greatest and got to work at crunching the goldfish. Then she showed him that her teeth could make the goldfish crunch too and she asked Ezra if he would try. We were both shocked when he put it in his mouth and chewed it and swallowed it. Monica and I were both out of our chairs, jumping up and down and praising him to the high heavens! It was like the lights switched on and ever since that day he has been eating more and more textured foods. He used to put a cheerio in his mouth and it would just sit on his tongue and you could see panic in his face. Now he shoves several in his mouth at once. Ezra will try just about anything I put in front of him. It has been so wonderful to see his confidence grow and to know that food is no longer something he has to fear. I couldn't be more proud of him.

I am so glad that our insurance has paid for most of Ezra's OT and that we have such amazing resources here. Thank you, Monica!! We are forever grateful!

Return - To Last Year

2011-09-30T14:45:00.001-04:00

On this last day of September, I thought it would be fun to share photos of Ezra that were taken this time last year. A nice way to round out my September walk down memory lane. We had been home with Ezra for a little over a month. I remember feeling like Damon and I were getting much better at anticipating Ezra's needs. He was less anxious during bottle times and was putting himself to sleep fairly quickly. The weather was still nice and those daily walks were really therapeutic. Ezra was probably only about 14 pounds in these photos. So tiny!

I have to admit that I look at his baby photos with a sense of longing. I miss that little peanut. Of course, that stage had it's own set of challenges and I was smack dab in the middle of adjusting to motherhood. But this toddler stage is kicking my behind. I know this is an awkward age because they have opinions but don't have the language to fully communicate them. Some days are easier than others but I find myself wishing for him to get a little older so that we can converse more. You would think as I longingly look at these baby photos of him that I would stop such unproductive thinking. I was sitting next to a mom at the library the other day and she asked me Ezra's age. I told her 20 months and she said her son was 21 months and she was going crazy. I wanted to hug and kiss her! Yes, I am going a little crazy too!

I read something yesterday that was a good reminder and echoed a lot of what my mom tells me when I call her after a rough day. It's not just good advice for parents but applies to all stages of life, good and bad.

"If I had to identify one thing I'd like to say to younger parents right now, this would be it: Knowing that nothing lasts forever doesn't have to be sad and depressing. Knowing that nothing lasts forever is a source of great joy. When parenting gets rough, remind yourself that this too shall pass. When parenting is joyful, remind yourself that this too shall pass."

Yes, this too shall pass.

Hope you have a wonderful last day of September!

Return - NYC Marathon

2011-09-28T20:00:00.002-04:00

I've had a few conversations and read a few blogs recently that have reminded me of my running days. About a year or so after I graduated from college, I decided that I wanted to run the NYC marathon. My Uncle David had run it about 20 times (seriously!!!) and he encouraged me to enter the lottery so we could run it together. We even talked about it as we were dancing at my wedding reception. I was born in New York City so it seemed like the right place to run my first marathon. The first two years I entered my name didn't get picked but the third year it did. I am pretty sure if you enter three times and haven't been picked then you automatically get to run. At least, that is how it was back in the day. The marathon is in November so I had all summer and the early part of fall to train. Since I had run cross country in college, I was pretty sure of how I wanted to go about training for it but I picked a plan on a running website and basically stuck to it. The plan did allow for a little flexibility during the week and that helped since I was in a job that required some travel. One of my co-workers at the time was an avid runner so I joined her on weekends for the longer runs. I am not sure I could have done those long training runs on my own. The encouragement and motivation from others was key.

I get really emotional when I think about running that marathon. The plan to run with my Uncle David didn't work out because he was diagnosed that year with brain cancer and his surgery date was too close to the race date so he couldn't run. He did travel to New York that weekend and cheered me on and even paid for Damon and me to stay at a really nice hotel near where I would catch the bus to the start of the race. He warned me all about the parts in the race that were the hardest, like the lonely, steep bridge you run across before entering Manhattan and the hilly roads that line Central Park in the final miles of the race. He taught me the easiest way to grab the paper water and gatorade cups so you wouldn't spill. He advised I take a New York Times to read before the race because you have to sit and wait for a long time before it begins. I think he was living vicariously through me and that it was really tough for him to sit out that year. If you can believe it, despite the chemo and radiation he endured before his passing in April 2006, my uncle ran the NYC Marathon two more times. I am pretty sure he even did it faster than me.

My mom has a photo of my uncle and me from one of the first times he ran the NYC marathon. I was probably about 4 years old. He wore a t-shirt during the race that said, "Emily's Uncle." My mom had kids before both of her brothers so I was my uncle's first niece. When I ran the marathon more than 20 years later my mom had a t-shirt made for me that said, "David's Niece." It was fun to wear because the spectators in New York are some of the best so for 26.2 miles I heard stuff like, "Let's go David's Niece" and "You can do it, David's Niece." It was pretty awesome. It was clear that some people were really confused or thought that David was someone famous. When your knee is killing you and you aren't sure you can continue those little moments are priceless! I will never forget rounding the corner into Manhattan at around mile 16 and hearing the cheers from the crowds. People were lined up 4-5 rows deep to cheer you on. I will also never forget seeing my mom, Damon, my Uncle David and cousin Chris about 1/2 mile before the finish. There were times I didn't think I would make it and seeing them and knowing that I was about to cross the finish line was a really special moment. I definitely cried tears of joy and lifted my arms in celebration as I ran across the finish line.

I would love to run another marathon but my knees took a beating that day in November and have never fully recovered. I am really hoping one of these days I can devote some time to physical therapy and get running long distances again. I am David's niece after all!

Return - Damon's Reunion

2011-09-23T14:10:00.002-04:00

Last Saturday we took a mini road trip to Richmond, Indiana for Damon's 10 year reunion at Earlham. It was a gorgeous day and it was fun showing Ezra his future college. We even got him a t-shirt that says, Future Earlham Quaker! We just can't help ourselves and the parental pressure to attend our alma mater is already in full effect. We spent most of the day with Damon's best friend, Drew, and his family. They have two boys, one is older than Ezra and the other one is younger. Drew and Damon look quite similar and even have the same birthday! Drew has always been amazing with kids and Ezra immediately adored him. I think I have a picture of Drew at our wedding kneeling down, talking with Damon's two young cousins. I wasn't quite sure how Ezra would do since the plan was to just hang out on campus and chat with people. We were so lucky the weather cooperated and he had a blast playing with the other kids there and just running around all the open space. Ezra got to meet our track coach and a few professors as well. One of the ladies in the coffee shop remembered Drew and Damon and said, "It's so great that the two of you still hang out." Love that! I tried to take a lot of photos of Ezra on campus but he rarely stayed still. I managed to get a few good ones.

We miss you already, Earlham!

Return - Our First House

2011-09-20T11:55:00.002-04:00

Last weekend we moved. It wasn't a huge, life changing move in any way. We are just 25 minutes or so from our old house but it was still hard, stressful and bittersweet. Damon and I loved our old house but had grown weary of the neighborhood and felt so far away from everything, as we were on the outskirts of Columbus. We put our house on the market in March and by August had basically given up on the idea of moving. Then one day I was over at my friend's house and was in the middle of telling her how we were bummed about our housing situation and my phone rang. It was our Realtor and we had an offer on our house. After that call everything happened very quickly. Within 5 days we were in contract on our old house and had put an offer in on another house. Crazy!

Even though I am so excited that it all worked out, I had a really hard time saying goodbye to our old house. I know it is just a house but I shed lots of tears on our way out the door. I stressed for several weeks leading up to the move about how Ezra would handle it. Needless to say, the first couple of days in the new house were hard. It was clear he was on high alert and was bothered by all the new noises. I had some moments when I wished we hadn't moved. Ezra and I spent most of the actual moving day at a friend's since Ezra is comfortable there and that kept him away from all the noises of moving and from seeing his stuff getting carried out of the house. I am so glad we did that! Once our stuff was at the new house Damon got right to work on setting up Ezra's room and he finished that afternoon. That man has a killer work ethic! Several people had suggested setting up Ezra's room first and I do think that helped. I was shocked when he slept through the night on our first night here.

I had read a few articles online about moving with a toddler and one of them suggested going through each room of the old house and having the child say goodbye. So after the movers left and most of our stuff was gone Ezra and I went over to the old house and said goodbye. Ezra doesn't like seeing other people cry so I had to dig deep and hold back tears. He waved goodbye to each room and we left. Then once we got in the car and I knew he couldn't see my face I let the tears flow. It was our first house. We were proud of it. I know pride is a tricky thing but we were proud. There is something about getting the keys to your first home. We moved in about 2 years after we got married. Damon and his friend built a deck on the back and Damon painted every inch of that house. It wasn't long until we started scouring websites for dogs and drove to Dayton to pick up Raney, a two year old Weimereiner. She then proceeded to ruin half the house but whatever. The joys of dog ownership. I have lots of great memories of cook outs with friends and watching Buckeye games. We brought Ezra home to that house and we became a family of three there. Even now, a week after the move, I am still a little sad.

However, I LOVE our new neighborhood and I think it suits us. The house is a cape cod style that was built in the 1950s. It has a lot of charm and I love being able to see all the mature trees out our windows. The school system is more diverse and Damon has a much shorter drive to work. We also have a lot of great friends that are close. Not to mention there is a Jeni's ice cream right down the road. In the end, I know this was the right decision and when more of the boxes make their way to the basement then I'm sure it will feel like home. We Skyped with my parents a few days ago and my dad asked Ezra if he liked his new house. I am not sure Ezra really understood, although we have been talking a lot of the new house, but he shook his head yes. I sure hope so.

A Little Inappropriate

2011-09-19T12:05:00.001-04:00

About a week ago, Ezra meandered into my bedroom while I was doing something in the kitchen. I called out to him and I heard the pitter pat of his feet heading toward me. When I turned around this is what he was doing.

Yes, that is my bra. Don't you love how he is even holding it in the correct spot! I promise I don't usually leave my undergarments strewn about my bedroom but as you can tell from all the boxes we were in the process of packing up our house. (More on that later.) So things were a little hectic and I wasn't being super tidy.

Note to Self: This kid notices EVERYTHING!

I hope this gave you a good laugh on a Monday.

Return - Our Love Story

2011-09-08T15:30:00.001-04:00

I love hearing stories about how couples first met. Maybe you do too? I could hear over and over again the story of when my parents met and started dating. So here is our love story.

I have always had a thing for soccer players. I am not sure what it is but they are just plain cute. Don't you love the part at the end of a professional soccer match when the players on opposing teams take off their shirts and switch jerseys? Is that just me? By the far the best part of the game in my opinion. My sister even poked fun at my tendency to date soccer players in her toast/roast at our rehearsal dinner. You will not be surprised to hear that Damon played soccer at Earlham. At the beginning of my senior year and his sophomore year, I started to develop a little bit of a crush on him. But he was younger and I didn't know much about him. Except that he played soccer and had a great smile. I started to ask around to some of my guy friends in my year that played soccer and knew him. Everyone said he was a great guy so I let it be known that I was interested hoping it would get back to him. It did. If this story were told from Damon's perspective he would say that he was pretty surprised and a bit intimidated when he found out about my crush. Not because I was intimidating but more the idea of dating someone older. But I suppose he was interested enough to start making an effort to see me more. Most of those attempts didn't work out so the first semester ended and nothing had really become of my crush.

The start of the second semester was also the beginning of the indoor track season. Damon did some of the field and sprinting events to stay in shape for soccer and I ran the distance events. Even though we did different events it still provided more opportunity for us to interact. Eventually a couple on the track team decided to take matters into their own hands. The girl invited me out to dinner and the guy invited Damon. I suppose that was our first official date. The next morning we had a track meet and I got disqualified from my event and was pretty upset. I remember Damon came up to me and put his arm around me to console me. Sweet guy. That night after the track meet we hung out and had our first kiss in the hallway of his dorm. And then for the rest of the semester we were pretty inseparable. I remember watching movies in his dorm room and playing games like Pictionary and Cranium at the house where I lived with several girlfriends. He would bring me hummus and veggie sandwiches for lunch from the cafeteria since I was no longer on the meal plan. It was just the little things. One night all the girls at my house decided to use those Biore nose strips to see if they worked and Damon ended up stopping by and stumbled upon our goofy girls night. I am pretty sure I had a towel around my head and a white strip on my nose. I must have looked pretty ridiculous. The next morning my friend, Molly, and I were walking to campus and she commented that I totally act like myself around Damon. I hadn't really made that connection but she was right.

The two years between us did cause a bit of a problem because it meant I would be graduating and moving away. Richmond, Indiana isn't exactly the place you dream of living after college. Not only did I not want to live in Richmond but I had dreams of living in Japan. I continued throughout that second semester pursuing that plan and Damon even drove with me to Chicago for an interview to teach English in Japan. As decision time grew closer I really wasn't sure what I should do. Damon and I were talking about it and it told me that of course he would love it if I were able to live close enough to see other often but that he didn't want to be the one to keep me from living out a dream. He said we would try and make it work and hopefully we would stay together. So I went. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. Damon came and visited me for three weeks over his Christmas break and it was then that I knew that I had really fallen for him. We travelled all over and had an amazing time. I was proud of him for trying lots of Japanese food and in the mornings he made me french toast. I think you learn a lot about a person when you travel with them, especially in a foreign country. I came back from my year in Japan and spent some time in Oklahoma with my parents and then in January of 2001 I packed up my Honda and moved to Columbus, Ohio. I got a job with a Japanese travel agency and was only 2 hours from Damon as he finished up his final semester. He moved to Columbus that summer and we are still here. It is pretty amazing that we made it through two years of living on different continents, states and cities.

Damon talked to my dad over Thanksgiving in 2001 and he proposed on Christmas morning. He did it in front of my parents and sister, which was really special and showed how much he knew me and that I would want them to be a part of it. I thought he was getting me a rice cooker but instead a ring fell out of the box. We said "I do" on October 12th, 2002 in Tulsa. And I would say it all over again.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-07T17:00:00.003-04:00

(photos thanks to Claire M. and Noreen P.)

Return - Shoes

2011-09-04T12:10:00.003-04:00

I don't look back on the years that Damon and I went through infertility with too many fond memories. I mostly remember being curled up on the couch, under my red fleece blanket, feeling sorry for myself. However, I did learn a really valuable lesson during that time that I hope stays with me. If you have ever been through infertility then you are probably familiar with the phenomenon of pregnant women coming out of the woodwork to haunt and taunt you. Of course, I know those pregnant women were always there but when you want something so badly it seems everyone else has it but you. I know my mother-in-law told me that when she went through an illness that kept her from eating regular food she became aware of how many commercials, street billboards, daily conversations, etc. are related to food. It was torture for her and I could relate. It seemed when I went to the grocery story there was at least one pregnant woman per aisle. Or when we went out to dinner we were always seated next to the couple that was expecting. To top it off, my office was above an Ob/Gyn office. So everyday I saw women with their perfectly round bellies going in and out of the building or I saw couples standing outside rejoicing over ultrasound pictures. Baby showers were the worst. I had several wonderful friends in Columbus that were expecting and sadly some of those friendships were strained for a while. Thankfully, those same women are still some of my closest friends and have been incredibly supportive to me as a new mom.

During that time I started chatting more frequently with a friend from high school who was also having trouble conceiving. She actually already had a daughter but was going through hell to try and conceive again. She had several ectopic pregnancies and at one point had to be rushed to the hospital and lost one of her fallopian tubes. This friend did eventually get pregnant again and carried her baby to term. I was so incredibly happy for her and her husband and that all of their heartache eventually led to a healthy baby boy. I think it was this friendship that allowed me to start looking at other pregnant women that followed me through the grocery store a little differently. I started to make up stories about each of them. I would tell myself that maybe the lady on aisle 4 had to go through multiple IVF cycles to finally achieve a pregnancy. And maybe the slightly older pregnant lady on aisle 7 waited a long time to fall in love and this pregnancy was an unexpected gift to her and her new husband. Perhaps the pretty blonde in the produce section struggled with eating disorders for years and was finally healthy and happy. I know it seems strange to assign heartache to each woman but I do think we all have our own struggles so it allowed me to feel compassion instead of envy. Perhaps all of them conceived without any trouble at all but the point is that their lives have probably not been perfect. At some point we will all have to overcome adversity. So reminding myself of that helped with my own pain. We certainly never know what it is like to walk in another person's shoes.

Return - My Birthday

2011-09-01T15:55:00.002-04:00

I have been feeling in a rut lately when it comes to my blog. Of course, I enjoy posting photos of Ezra and telling funny stories about him but I also appreciate the creative outlet that writing brings. When we were in the adoption process, I had so much to write about and discover and I loved using this blog as a way to sort through the experience. I am missing that these days. I tend to get wrapped up in the day to day mom stuff of teething misery, singing goofy songs, going to the park, getting puzzle pieces thrown at me, etc. I think it would do me some good to step away from that a few times a week and just write about something else.

My friend, Tracy, has unknowingly motivated me to join in on the September daily blogging theme. I don't think I can commit to blogging daily but I do want to be inspired to think about things outside of my routine as a mom. Don't worry, if you mostly stop by here for cute photos of Ezra I won't disappoint you and will still post some occasionally.

Here is the September theme:

September's theme for daily blogging: RETURN. Returning -- or turning again -- is about reflection, about going backwards, about revisiting a spot or memory. Sometimes people think that it can be a negative thing to live too much in the past, drowning in nostalgia. But a lot can be learned by mentally returning to a moment, replaying what happened in your mind, especially if lessons are learned in the process.

Today is my birthday. My dad jokes that it was the only time in my life that I saved them any money. I guess my mom was due on August 30th but their insurance switched over to a better plan on September 1st. So by waiting a few days to enter the world I saved them money. My dad always tells the story with a smile on his face though, as he does with most things. For some reason, my mind drifted today to the birthdays I spent at Earlham College. Perhaps this is because Damon and I are planning on going there in a few weeks for his 10 year reunion weekend. On September 1st, 1995 I had just returned from a month long canoeing trip in Northern Ontario with a group of other first year Earlham students. It was a great way to make fast friends at a place where I didn't know anybody and as it turned out I met my very best friend on that trip. My mom had come to campus to help me get my dorm room settled before classes officially started. I don't think my mom or I will ever forget that first shower I took at the Holiday Inn in Richmond after returning from the adventure. I will spare you the gory details but it was like I was shedding layers of skin except the layers were actually dirt. Although, I do take some pride in how well I handled being so dirty. I remember so clearly walking across the center of campus, called "The Heart" at Earlham, and some of my friends from the trip shouted out a dorm window, "Happy Birthday, Emily!" I think it was then that I knew I made the right choice in going to Earlham and that everything was going to be okay. I felt like I belonged. My sophomore year birthday was spent in Japan and sadly I don't really remember it. I am sure if I went back and looked at some photos it might jog my memory but at the moment my mind is blank. My host family probably had a cake that was put together delicately and was so pretty you didn't want to eat it. Oh, I miss Japan. On my birthday my junior year the boyfriend I had at the time broke up with me. I remember feeling like it came out of the blue and I have to say at the time it was truly heartbreaking. We went on a long walk around campus and I was so eager to just get back to my room and have a good cry. Not a good birthday. For my senior year my friends outdid themselves and put together quite a bash for my 21st birthday. I was the last of my friends to turn 21 so they didn't cut corners. Some of the things we did I would rather not share on the internet as it would attract a not so desirable blog following. However, it is a memory that still makes me laugh out loud.

I get to see one of those party organizers tomorrow, the same best friend I met on that canoeing trip, and then on Saturday my mom comes to town. I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift.

Happy Birthday to me!

His Special Book

2011-08-29T08:40:00.000-04:00

I've known for a while that I wanted to create a book for Ezra that showed all the photos of our journey to each other and also told the story of his adoption. I thought a book would be a good way to start talking to him about his adoption so that his story was something we could talk about from an early age. Obviously when he gets older we will have to expand on certain parts of his story and our discussions will get more advanced but I figure we have to start somewhere. Damon gets all the credit for putting together most of the book. He organized all the photos and put them in chronological order. That took the bulk of the time. I just came in at the end and added added some text to each page so that it read more like a children's book. The photos I took of the book don't really do it justice but you get the idea. Here are a few of them.

The Front Cover:

Referral Photos:

Ezra Day:

Airport Homecoming:

Professional Photos:

It is a pretty heavy duty book and the cover is leather bound. We bought it from Picaboo because we had a gift certificate but I am sure all of the major online photo sites do something similar. The icing on the cake is that Ezra loves it. We call it "Ezra's special book" and he requests to read it frequently. There was a recent article in my Adoptive Families magazine about creating a storybook for your toddler. The author said, "One way to make the telling more special is to chronicle your child's tale in a personalized storybook. Our kids benefit from tangible "proof" of their connections to us and to their family; your child will giggle with delight when he hears his name and sees things he recognizes about his life in a real book."

I would say this is absolutely true for Ezra. He will point at me when there is a photo of us or he'll see toys he recognizes and will have to go get them before we can go on to the next page. He seems to like seeing the younger photos of himself and loves to point out the people he recognizes, like us and his grandparents. We tell him about his nannies at the foster home and there are some photos of hometown as well. It's been a good way to start telling him about Ethiopia and for him to see photos of his birth country. Some of the pages in the book tell more personal aspects of his story so it isn't something we'll be sharing with everyone. It was made to be something special for Ezra.

I am so happy with how the book turned out and that Ezra has fun reading it. Hopefully, this will be something we can read together for a long time.

For the Baby Book

2011-08-26T13:15:00.001-04:00

Ezra did something yesterday that I don't ever want to forget. The day had been somewhat challenging since he has started this new thing where he wants to throw everything. Puzzle pieces, books, blocks, food, etc. You name it. He throws it. I am having a hard time teaching him that when we are outside he can throw his ball but when we are inside he can't throw things at other people (Ex: I do not enjoy getting puzzle pieces thrown towards my face.) As I was giving him his bottle he looked up at me and pointed to his eye, then to his heart and then at me. That is how we taught him to say, "I love you." He will do it if you prompt him but had never done it just out of the blue like that. Needless to say, in that moment I forgot about my fat lip and told him over and over again that I love him too.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-24T17:20:00.000-04:00

Noises

2011-08-17T12:00:00.002-04:00

Damon and I noticed in our very first week with Ezra that he seemed to have very good hearing. He didn't miss a beat and was very aware of his surroundings for someone his age. We went to our first appointment at the adoption clinic after we had been home for a week and one of the things they wanted to do was check his hearing. The audiologist came into the room and I remember telling Damon that this was a test I wasn't nervous about at all and knew he would pass with flying colors. After the test was over, she told us Ezra's hearing was great and she had no concerns. Yep, that was a no-brainer. My mom refers to Ezra's hearing as "super-sonic." It is a pretty accurate description. However, this also means that he is very sensitive to noise and is easily bothered by it. What's ironic is that he is quite noisy himself. I do think Ezra has made major improvements in dealing with his noise sensitivities so I thought I would share some of what has worked for us in case there are others out there working through similar issues. I am also open to suggestions others might have!

We have noticed that when Ezra is familiar with a noise then he is less bothered by it. He likes to see where the noise is coming from and know what it is. The coffee bean grinder is something that used to make Ezra cry. I would take him upstairs or outside when Damon ground coffee. Eventually we started showing him the grinder and I would make a funny noise that was similar to the grinding sound. These days he isn't afraid of it and doesn't cry but still likes to watch Damon as he is using it. Ezra will also make the funny noise when he sees the grinder. Damon will smile or make silly faces while the machine is on and that helps too. We do the same thing with the blender and the disposal for the sink. Those are all noises that used to upset him and now that he is familiar and has his funny noise to make for them he is okay with it.

Sirens have always been scary for Ezra as well. Part of me wonders if he senses the distress in the noise sirens make. There were a few times when it was just the two of us driving somewhere and an ambulance would go by and Ezra would just sob in the back seat. I felt terribly because there was little I could do from the front seat besides try to talk in a calming voice and reach one hand to the backseat to try and touch him. We have some books with pictures of fire trucks and ambulances so every time we read those books I point to the picture and make the siren noise. I would also tell him "that's a fire truck" or "that's an ambulance" so he would learn the word so I could use it when it actually happened. We heard one in the car about a month ago and I told him what it was and reached my hand towards his car seat. He just grabbed my hand and held it tight but didn't cry. I took that as a sign of progress. We did make the big mistake of taking him to a Memorial Day parade and he did well at first and loved the marching bands. But towards the end there were police cars with sirens and other cars with loud horns and Damon had to walk him away and calm him down. Please do not ask why we chose to take our noise sensitive child to a parade. I am not sure what we were thinking or if we were even thinking at all.

A book that has been great to help explain noises in a funny way is the Dr Seuss book, "Mr. Brown Can Moo." In the book Mr. Brown makes all sorts of popping, knocking and booming noises. We have used that book to describe rain and thunder and Ezra doesn't seem bothered by either. I had planned to use that book around the 4th of July in case he woke up and was scared by fireworks but thankfully he slept through all of it!

We are still working on the sounds that other kids make. He is especially bothered when younger kids scream or cry. He loves older kids and isn't afraid of their shrieking noises but baby cries and screams always make Ezra scream. I will admit that I had some days when I thought we were never going to be able to take him anywhere and that this sensitivity was going to be very debilitating. Clearly, I was letting my imagination get the best of me and was jumping to a worst case scenario. Why I always do this is a mystery. Maybe someday I will learn this lesson. Probably not, though. This past weekend we took Ezra to a family reunion for Damon's side of the family and there was loud music and lots of people and it was definitely noisy. But Ezra did great and seemingly enjoyed himself. He didn't meltdown that night from all the stimulation either. I have taken him to the library recently when the room was super crowded and I thought for sure Ezra would hate it. But he didn't. So he is making improvements and I am hopeful that as his language skills improve we can continue to explain noises and make them less scary.

Ezra Day!

2011-08-15T09:20:00.001-04:00

Happy Ezra Day! This is the day that Ezra was placed in our arms forever and we started our life together. It is hard to believe that one year ago we were in Ethiopia becoming parents.

It was hard then to see how scared he was to be with people that he didn't know at all. In a lot of ways it is harder now to look at those photos and see that fear in his eyes. Obviously, I loved him like crazy that day one year ago but there is something different and deeper about my love for him today. That is why it hurts more now to know how scared he really was. I didn't know much about him then except what we observed from our short visits a few weeks prior and from the updates we received from our agency. These days he calls me "mama" and runs to my arms when he falls or is scared or unsure. When he wakes up from his nap and is still a little sleepy he nestles his head into my chest and takes deep, slow breaths rather than look around for something familiar like he did last year. He gives the best hugs and kisses and has the loudest scream you have ever heard.

I wrote a few letters to Ezra while we were in Ethiopia that week and here is some of what I wrote about our first day and night together:

We discovered that you know how to blow raspberries and you think it is very funny. You like it when we do it to you too. You love having your diaper changed and get all giggly and squirmy. I didn't sleep at all the first night. I kept anticipating you waking up. I also kept listening for sounds that you were breathing since you have a respiratory infection. I think I am a pretty paranoid first time mama. You woke up twice during the night and wanted to be fed. You are extremely fierce about your feedings. All in all I think we did pretty well on on our first night together. Your dad and I were a good team. I can't wait to get to learn more about you.

It's been quite a year getting to know our sweet, strong willed and smart boy! We love you, Ezra!

Pizza and Hummus

2011-08-09T15:30:00.001-04:00

I continue to be really proud of Ezra's progress with chewing food. Last week he had very little appetite, due to teething, and didn't eat much at all, including his beloved baby food. The worrier in me fretted that he had taken some steps backwards. But this weekend he got back on track and did some great chewing. I never thought I would be clapping for my kid while he chewed but that's what we do. Ezra has long been a fan of garlic hummus. He will even eat it for breakfast. Saturday night he was chowing down on his hummus and I gave him a few pieces of my pizza to see if he would take some bites. He took some bites of the pizza and then started dipping it in his hummus. He thought it was delish and I think he was very pleased with himself and his new creation. It was one of his best eating moments to date.

It is just so wonderful to see him happy in his highchair. We still have days when it seems like food is this torturous thing for him but it is so encouraging to see him smiling while eating. And he even chilled at the table for a while so that Damon and I could finish. Who knew this was possible?!

And is it just me or does he look so grown up in these photos?

Vote 4 EOR!

2011-08-06T16:55:00.000-04:00

Ezra and Tesfa have a serious favor to ask of you. Ethiopian Orphan Relief, an organization close to my heart for obvious reasons, is up for a Stay Classy award and the opportunity to win $15,000 to help serve orphans and vulnerable children in Ethiopia. They need lots of votes! The boys were hoping you would kindly click over to the website and submit your vote. EOR is under the category for Most Innovative Use of Social Media By a Charity. Click HERE to vote! When EOR wins we'll be sure to get a shot of the boys smiling!

Thank you!

Dishwasher Entertainment

2011-08-02T19:45:00.000-04:00

Damon posted this video of Ezra on FB last week but I thought it was worth sharing here too. He took this video while I went out to work with some of my former co-workers. Ezra had been pretty crabby all day so I was glad I had a night out planned for that evening. When I got home and asked Damon how Ezra was he informed that Ezra was in a super good and goofy mood all night. Of course he was. I was a little mad at Damon but got over it quickly when he showed me this video. What a nut!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Pool Time

2011-07-28T16:10:00.002-04:00

Ezra went swimming for the first time over the weekend. As with most things, he seemed a little tentative at first but once he realized how awesome it was then we couldn't keep him out of the water. We had a great afternoon with friends and basically had the pool to ourselves.

I am thinking it might be time to sign him up for some lessons!

July 26th

2011-07-26T13:15:00.002-04:00

July 26th is a big day for our family. We have a lot of those important moments coming up in the next several weeks. Today is the day we met Ezra for the first time. We got to hold him, hug him and kiss him for the first time. I hope my memory of that day is as clear in the future as it is today. I remember being incredibly anxious and excited as we were pulling up to the front of the foster home and knowing that in just a few minutes we would be together. I remember walking up the stairs of the home and peering into his room and seeing him on the floor. Damon and I were both nervous to pick him up but once we did I don't think either of us ever wanted the moment to end. Here we are:

This morning when I went to get Ezra from his crib I told him that today was a very important and special day for us. I used a lot of the same language that I do when we look through the book we made for him about his adoption story and our journey to each other. We have been reading it a lot lately and Ezra knew that is what I was talking about. He pointed to the bookcase and we pulled out the book. I know he doesn't truly understand yet but he knew I was talking about a moment in the book. It made me happy that he was making those connections. He mostly got excited about the pictures of Damon holding him and kept saying, "dada" and "up." That is his way of saying that Damon is holding him. He always points to the photo where he fell asleep in Damon's lap. I have to say that photo always makes me emotional, as it did in the actual moment.

Here is the full account of that day. We are so grateful!

All About Ezra - 18 months

2011-07-21T16:20:00.003-04:00

Ezra turned 18 months old over the weekend. It's crazy to think that I have a 1 1/2 year old. What's crazier is that this time last year we were preparing to leave for our first trip to Ethiopia. Damon and I have been very nostalgic lately and it seems like every night we recount something that happened while we were in Ethiopia or just discuss our desire to return. We are longing for that day.

Here are all things Ezra at 18 months old.

Communication:

Ezra continues to use sign language really well and we are still adding to the things he will sign. I am not sure if the signing will delay his actual speech but so far it is really helping with communication so I am sticking with it.

He does have several words that he says pretty consistently. Some of them are enunciated better than others.

Other than Mama and Dada he says:

Car

Ball

Hot

Pop (Not the soda variety but what you do to bubbles.)

Obama (Pronounced more like Bama)

Africa (Pronounced more like Akaka)

He calls his blanket, "baba."

I remember before I became a mom I always thought it was wonderful how parents could understand certain things their kids were saying but no one else could. To the outsider the toddler's rambling sounds more like Chinese but the parents know exactly what their child wants. I love that Ezra and I have that now. For example, I know if he says "Ahhh" then it means he wants water. Thanks to sign language I think he communicates pretty well for an 18 month old but I would also say that lack of communication is the number one reason he throws a tantrum. Well, perhaps it would be second to being told, "No." I think Ezra understands a ton of what I am saying to him. He nods his head for yes and shakes his head for no. If he wants you to do something again, like a read a book, then he nods his head for yes. I guess yes and again mean the same thing to him. If you don't do it right away then he starts nodding his head with more vigor. It's pretty funny. We've taught him some things that he does purely from memorization. I don't think he actually knows the meaning of the words but it is still fun to teach him. We'll ask him where he was born and he will say, "Akaka." (Africa) Or if you ask him who our President is then he will say, "Bama." He also puts his arms in the air and flexes his muscles if you ask him if he is strong. Pretty darn cute.

Activities & Interest:

Ezra is definitely very boyish when it comes to his interests. He is obsessed with any kind of ball. Damon has taught him how to kick a soccer ball and Ezra thinks it is hilarious when Damon hits the soccer ball with his head. His latest activity is to get a ball and drop it through the railings of our loft and watch it fall to the first floor. I am not a fan of this game but I get a lot of exercise going up and down the stairs to fetch the lost balls. The Occupational Therapy room we go to has a basketball hoop and when we got there he makes a beeline for it. The other day he was on the floor and was on his side and with one hand was making a truck go, "Brroom." It was such a quintessential boy moment. Ezra also loves to push and pull things, especially if they are a little bit heavy. He seems to enjoy manual labor and likes it if you hand him something and tell him to take it to another room or take it dad.

New Friends:

Ezra really enjoys playing with older boys in the 3-5 range. There is a boy across the street who is 5 and Ezra loves him. Perhaps this is because he gave Ezra a whiffle ball once. But he is very sweet to Ezra and will always play games with him or hold his hand to help him walk in the grass. Ezra is also obsessed with my friend Nancy's son, G. Over the weekend we played at G's house and I told Ezra it was time to go so he needed to say bye and give G a hug. Ezra ran over to G, wrapped his arms around G's waist and leaned his head into him. It took a lot of will power to hold back tears. I still think of that hug and smile. So sweet.

We have our tough days but I think overall Ezra is doing very well. His sleeping schedule has been a little nuts lately, which I attribute to teething and transitioning to one nap. He has the tendency to get up VERY early in the morning. I also tend to be an early riser but 5:30am is way early in my book.

It's tough to get a good picture of Ezra because he is always on the go but here a few of my 18 month old boy. Actually, I didn't take several of these so clearly my friends are better at getting a good shot of him.

I love the way he is looking at G with adoration in this photo.

Such great smiles! (Please note the ball in Ezra's hand.)

Ezra loves his belly button.

Watching his dad hit the soccer ball with his head. Pure joy!

Overeager

2011-07-13T07:10:00.000-04:00

Someone was a little overeager at library story time.

Feeding Update

2011-07-11T17:10:00.000-04:00

About a month ago, Ezra started working with a different Occupational Therapist to help with his feeding issues. It has been such a good experience! I liked our previous OT but she felt like Ezra needed someone who could also do some general sensory work with him along with the feeding. I am so grateful she recognized this and made the suggestion. We now go weekly and Ezra has made huge strides. Our new OT has done a great job developing a rapport with Ezra (a.k.a. Mr. Skeptical). She is also at a different location and I am so much happier about that. It was pretty chaotic going to the downtown Children's Hospital and Ezra was clearly overwhelmed by the number of kids they had in the OT room. It was loud and noisy and there was no way Ezra was going to relax and try to eat new textures. I was also becoming increasingly negative about whether the therapy was going to work. The new location is close to our house, quiet, clean and suits Ezra (and me) much better.

The OT spends the first part of the session doing fun activities with him that help him explore his senses and push him to expand outside his comfort zone. While she is playing games with him she also is doing things to get his mouth ready to eat. She has these animal toys that vibrate and she will ask Ezra to kiss them or hold them. I know it sounds silly but it seems to be working. He does this pretty well and he will even let her hold the toy in his mouth while it vibrates. That is a big step for him because he used to be very orally defensive. I wish I had taken my camera last week because I had to carry Ezra out of there in just his diaper. He was covered head to toe in banana, pudding and crushed graham cracker. Do you remember his 1st birthday photos? He hated being messy!! Ezra has come so far in letting go of that fear. Last week he was squishing banana between his fingers and was mixing it with the pudding. At one point he was licking the pudding out of the cup. It was a sight to see. I never thought I would be so excited to see my kid messy! He had a blast and the OT was even sad she had to end the session.

He is also taking big steps in the chewing department. Last week I gave him a waffle and his typical routine was to just lick it and play with it but not take a bite. I was encouraging him to take a bite and then he did. I thought for sure he would spit it out but he let it sit there on his tongue for a moment. I kept telling him to "chew like Cookie Monster" and then he moved the waffle over to his gums and chewed. He chewed!! I seriously started to sweat and hold back tears I was so excited. The biggest part of it is that he took four more bites! I was in utter shock and he was clearly so proud of himself. Since the famous waffle day he has taken bites of scrambled egg, tuna fish salad and Ethiopian food! Last night was our monthly get together of Ethiopian adoptive families and Ezra had our whole table clapping and giving him high fives. He seemed to like the yellow split peas and the cheese the best. I gave him a bite of the lentils but they were too spicy. There was also something wonderful about seeing him hold injera and attempt to take bites. It's like it was what he was born to do.

I know Ezra still has some catching up to do but I am so proud of him. These victories are so encouraging and that much sweeter since he had to work so hard to achieve them.

Sprinkler Fun

2011-07-05T20:20:00.001-04:00

Our weather was pretty close to perfect today so we pulled out the sprinkler and Ezra loved it. In typical Ezra fashion he was more fascinated with the sprinkler itself than actually running around in the water. He was intent on figuring it out and touching every single part. I love his serious face with the tongue sticking out. It doesn't get much cuter!

Quirks

2011-06-28T15:05:00.002-04:00

I assume that most kids have some goofy quirks. If this is not the case then please just lie to me. Ezra has a few that are quite amusing. I noticed around the time he turned one that he was obsessed with little pieces of lint or string he would find on the floor. He would always pick them up and either hand them to me or carry them around for a while. This progressed to Ezra purposefully asking for tissue paper and then wadding it up into a little ball and carrying it around. About a month ago, I thought that I discovered that he had come up with a little name for his paper treasures. I asked him if he wanted one and went and got him the piece of tissue. He nodded and smiled and said the word. He calls them his "badees." I have no idea where this word came from but little pieces of lint or tissue are "badees" to Ezra. Even writing about it makes me crack up laughing. I actually mentioned it to Ezra's Occupational Therapist and she said it is possible that he is seeking touch so having the "badee" to carry around satisfies that sensory need. Or he is doing it to keep that hand safe so he doesn't have to touch something he doesn't want to. Or it means nothing and he is just goofy. I can even tempt Ezra to do something he doesn't want to do with the offering of a "badee." It comes in pretty handy.

My other favorite quirk of his has to do with certain books that we read. Ezra gets stuck on a few books and only wants those few books read to him again and again. Then after a few weeks he will usually switch to other books and occasionally come back to his favorites. Currently, he loves a book that my sister got him. It is written by Vera Williams and is called, Lucky Song. It's a great book and we have a few other books by the same author. I highly recommend them. There is even one that has a brown baby and a white grandma as characters. When I read Lucky Song to Ezra I always have to make sure that I have his hat and blanket close by. The character in the book, Evie, wears a hat so when that part comes Ezra must have his. She also has a blanket so Ezra must have his. If I am reading the book downstairs and those items are upstairs he will point relentlessly until you go get them. There is no escaping. He is like this with a book his Aunt Carole got for him too. It is a book about Cookie Monster and at one point he kicks a soccer ball. Well, Ezra must get up and go kick his soccer ball like Cookie Monster. Trust me when I say he is very insistent. I have to think it is a good thing though that he is making these connections between himself and the characters in his books. It is easiest to play along and embrace his quirks. We all have them, right?

(Thanks to my friend, Nancy, for capturing Ezra's goofy grin.)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-22T10:15:00.001-04:00

African Music

2011-06-13T14:05:00.001-04:00

Around the time we brought Ezra home my mom gave Ezra two CDs. One of African music designed for kids and one of familiar toddler tunes like "Mary Had a Little Lamb." For the most part Ezra seemed to enjoy the toddler tunes more and has learned a lot of the hand motions to "itsy bitsy spider" and "skinamarinky dinky dink." I can also usually distract him if he is upset by singing him those songs. However, I am happy to report that over the past couple of weeks Ezra has really started to enjoy the African Playground CD. Here is the LINK to the CD if you are interested. I highly recommend it! There are two songs on the CD that no matter what he is doing he will stop and dance. It's like everything else goes away and it is just Ezra and the music. Even if he is in another room and the volume is low he still recognizes his two favorite songs. It's one of the pros of Ezra's supersonic hearing. The best part about all of this is that one of his favorite songs happens to be the only Ethiopian song on the CD. He LOVES it. I had actually heard the song, Hoya Hoye, before on another blog and recognized it because we heard kids singing it once when we were in Ethiopia. There is something about the song that puts me in a good mood. We have enjoyed the CD so much that just a few weeks ago we purchased the Dreamland CD that is part of the same series. We have started playing it at night while we are trying to get Ezra to wind down before bed. Something about the music just allows you to exhale more deeply. It is that peaceful. There is also an African Reggae CD that is on my wish list. I should be their spokesperson.

Here is a video of Hoya Hoye that I found online. Listening to these kids sing makes me want to go back to Ethiopia so badly. Enjoy!

New Toy

2011-06-06T14:10:00.001-04:00

I have been wanting to get Ezra a water table for a while now. Ezra seems to find the water very soothing and I thought it would be a fun sensory activity for the summer. Last week I found one on sale and it was definitely worth every penny. Damon put it together on Saturday and Ezra played with it happily for an hour! At times he was very serious about his play and other times he would just splash his hands in the water with glee.

I have always been someone that thrives on positive reinforcement. I think because of that I find myself giving others positive feedback for seemingly silly things. My mom always chuckles at me when I praise her for finding a good parking space. I do this often and I have no idea why. Seeing Ezra play with a huge grin on his face was the ultimate positive feedback for me last week. It had overall been a rough couple of days so the joy on his face was that much sweeter. The water table will get a lot of use this summer!

First Haircut

2011-06-01T13:35:00.000-04:00

On Saturday Ezra got his first haircut. Damon and I had been saying for a while it needed to be done but we hadn't really made any firm plans to do something about it. He has these great, tight curls and he would get a lot of compliments on his hair. I was not eager to cut those sweet curls but it is getting hot around here and I knew he would feel better with more of a summer cut. When we woke up Saturday morning it was definitely not on our list of things to do that day. That afternoon we went to a birthday party for Damon's boss. It was super hot and even though I used leave-in conditioner on Ezra's hair to keep his curls tight his hair was a mess by the end of the day. It didn't help that he had been wearing a hat for part of the day as well. Also, we had some chats about his hair with Damon's co-worker, who is Ethiopian. He and Damon have been working together for about 10 years! He was so supportive of our adoption and even told Damon that they are "family now" since our son is Ethiopian. Well, he felt like Damon and I really needed to cut Ezra's hair. He was pretty insistent. As we were leaving the last thing he said was, "cut his hair!" We got home and I still didn't think we were cutting his hair that day until Damon came walking down the stairs with scissors. I am a little embarrassed to admit this but I did shed a few tears. I knew Ezra would look so much more grown up with shorter hair. We opted to use scissors instead of shears because we were worried the noise of the shears would cause a meltdown. I think that was the right call because Ezra kept his composure for most of the ordeal except for the very end when Damon was trying to cut around his ears. Using scissors did mean that Damon missed several spots so on Sunday and then again on Monday he had to do a little touching up. The next day I was still really sad and not really loving his new look but it has grown on me. Through my tears I did manage to take a few photos of the process.

Before

Damon picked Ezra's hair out a bit to make it easier to cut.

Ezra was still feeling good at this point and was just very curious.

Goodbye Curls

Most of the hair was gone at this point and Ezra was ready to be done.

After

This was taken at the Memorial Day Parade on Monday.

What do you think? I am glad we did it and I think he is too!

Friday Favorite Photos

2011-05-27T13:05:00.000-04:00

It was nice and cool this morning so Ezra and I spent a bulk of our time outside. We played with bubbles, his car and rocks. I kept trying to get him to smile but he was too busy moving rocks from one side of the sidewalk to the other. Important stuff. I also think he was a little mad at me because we didn't make it outside in time to see the mail truck. Serious face will have to do.

Bean Breakthrough

2011-05-25T14:20:00.000-04:00

In March I took Ezra to a follow-up visit at our international adoption clinic. We saw them right away when we got home and then they advise a follow-up visit after the child has been home for 6 months. They have been very thorough and it was nice to have access to a doctor, nutritionist, physical therapist and nutritionist all in one spot. Ezra was about 14 months old at that second visit and the big thing I wanted to discuss with them was his feeding issues. In a nutshell, he doesn't chew. When he was around 9-10 months old we started offering him little pieces of food. He showed no interest and it almost seemed he was afraid of it. We tried putting those puffs in his mouth and he would panic. He just held the puff in his mouth and had no clue what to do with it. He knew he couldn't just swallow it the way he does with pureed baby food so it would either dissolve enough for him to swallow or he would gag and spit it out. Not a pretty sight. We backed off for a bit and stuck with his baby food, which he enjoys. We would occasionally keep trying non-pureed foods although looking back we probably didn't try enough. He also would not eat any of the stage 3 baby foods. It seemed that they were either too thick or chunky for him and he would gag and then throw a fit. I talked all of this over with the nurse and physical therapist at the clinic and they agreed that Ezra probably needed to work with an occupational therapist who specializes in feeding. There is even a clinic at our Children's Hospital just for this type of issue. It was good to know that Ezra was not alone.

We met with the OT for the first time in early May. I have to say that going to the clinic at Children's Hospital really put things in perspective for me. I had honestly been getting pretty frustrated and discouraged but I quickly learned that his problems are minimal compared to most of the kids we saw in the OT room. It was eye opening and I am grateful for that. By the time the appointment rolled around he had started to eat several stage 3 foods and actually really liked some of them. Progress! The therapist was incredibly kind and patient and initially just watched me feed Ezra. She noticed that he wasn't really moving his tongue from side to side, which you have to do in order to chew. She thought that Ezra's lack of chewing was probably due to a combination of things but she said it was impossible to know exactly what caused it. I can't help but look back and wonder if it is because I did something wrong or is it a result of his rough beginnings or both or what? I will never know and just need to move forward. That type of stuff is hard for me to let go of.

We have been working on the OT's suggestions for the past month and we go see her again next week. She has had us give him large pieces of food that he can hold and are too big to swallow. He loves to chew on apples and will also chew on carrots. He rarely actually swallows any of it but he does use his gums to chew it. She gave him a special toothbrush to use that will help him with his tongue movement. We dip the toothbrush in his baby food and he chews on it and moves it around his mouth. It took him a few days to get comfortable with the toothbrush but now he loves it. We are also positioning his spoon back towards his molars, even though he doesn't have molars yet, to help him get the concept of moving food back there to chew. He will eat slightly mashed bananas but if you just cut up some banana and put it in front of him then he won't eat it. But the therapist said the first thing we want him to do is to move beyond the pureed to mashed. He has started to eat hummus like a champ and seems to prefer spicier versions like roasted red pepper and chipotle pepper. Obviously, hummus doesn't require much chewing but it is thicker and chunkier than pureed fruits. Two nights ago Damon and I were having enchiladas. Damon took some of the refried beans from the enchilada and gave it to Ezra. He ate them! They were pretty chunky so I expected him to spit it out, which he did several months ago when we tried at a Mexican restaurant. I know for most parents giving their 15 month old refried beans is no big deal but for us that was a huge breakthrough! He let them sit in his mouth for a bit but then he mashed them up and swallowed them. I was clapping so enthusiastically and cheering for him that he asked for more. So proud!

We obviously still have a long road ahead of us but Ezra is making steps forward. I imagine that hot dog eating contests are not in his future but I am hopeful one day we can go out and eat sushi together. Or at least he will look a little happier when he eats.

Teething Misery

2011-05-20T15:10:00.003-04:00

Ezra and I had a tough week. Ezra's week was rough because he is massively teething and is so uncomfortable and unhappy. I am thinking he is cutting some molars. My week was tough because I was trying to keep a very unhappy boy happy. Adding to the teething misery our weather has been nothing but rain all week. That made it difficult to come up with indoor activities to distract him from the pain. This is what Ezra looked like pretty much all week:

He has not taken his hands out of his mouth. Poor kid. I know that kids aren't supposed to watch TV until they are two but I resorted to a lot of Elmo because it was the only thing that would make him smile. Yesterday afternoon we played outside in the rain. My sanity was on the line! Ezra didn't seem to mind and actually thought it was pretty cool.

However, today was a good day so I am focusing on that. The rain finally stopped! This morning we met up with Ezra's best bud, Tesfa, at the park and we got to wish Tesfa and Amy a happy referral day. A year ago, Amy and I were sipping beers and celebrating our referrals. JOY!

Ezra had a great time playing outside and I was thrilled to hang out with one of my best buds too. (Yes, we were asked again if the boys are twins.)

When we got home I put Ezra down for his nap and he did the funniest thing. I have to document it here so I don't forget. He has started standing up in his crib. I am not a fan of this new antic. However, he usually just plays for a little bit and then puts himself to sleep. Today it was taking him a long time to go to sleep. At one point things got pretty quiet so I checked the video monitor. He was still standing in his crib and was holding one of his favorite stuffed animals. Then he tossed the animal over the side of the crib and waved goodbye! It was hilarious. Maybe you had to be there? It's a good thing that boy is cute.

Tippy Toes

2011-05-17T18:24:00.001-04:00

Over the weekend Damon spent some time working in the yard and Ezra kept going to the front window to check on him. It was my first time to see Ezra get on his tippy toes.

So cute. This boy loves his dad.

Referralversary

2011-05-13T17:21:00.001-04:00

**I posted this yesterday and then it disappeared. Not sure why. So here it is again. Sorry!

On May 12th, 2010, we got the call that changed our lives and we saw our son's face for the first time. It was a day of such a myriad of emotions. In the weeks leading up to the call, I was going a little crazy with anticipation so I expected to feel nothing but joy and excitement when the call finally came. Of course, I did experience both of those emotions but it was the level of grief upon hearing the details of his first weeks of life that took me by surprise. My heart hurt for a family in Ethiopia that I had never met and at the same time I was overwhelmed with gratitude that Ezra was alive and well. The end result of international adoption is pretty crazy if you think about it. Two families from halfway around the world become forever connected through the life of an amazing child. Adoption is such a perfect representation of life's ability to show you tragedy, beauty and grace all at the same time. It's truly miraculous.

Here are a few of those photos we saw a year ago. In some ways he doesn't even look like the same kid. The eyes are the main giveaway that it's him.

Earlier this week, Damon said something to me about how the year anniversary of our referral was coming up on May 13th. I had to politely remind him that the referral was actually on the 12th. He didn't believe me at first but soon realized he had the date wrong. His error is worth mentioning because it reminded me of something similar that happened about 6 months after we were married. Our wedding anniversary is October 12th. I like that it is also the 12th day of the month. Damon came home from running errands and showed me his receipt from getting gas in his car. He told me to look at the total. It was $10.13. I was very confused and gave him a blank look. He got this smirky look on his face and teased me that I had already forgotten our anniversary. Ha! It was fun to point out that he was the one who already forgot!

Whether it the was the 12th or 13th, we will never forget all the important details and emotions of our referral day!

Photo Purge

2011-05-01T15:50:00.001-04:00

We spent Easter Sunday with Damon's parents and had a relaxing afternoon. As usual, Damon's dad cooked a delicious meal and luckily the weather cooperated. Ezra enjoyed his first time on the swing and loved being able to play with different toys, even if they were a little girlie. Here are a few more pics from that day.

The newness of Ezra being able to walk around the house has not worn off yet. It still amazes me to see him toddle around without any help. I think I got a pretty good action shot.

Ezra got some sunglasses as a party favor last weekend and they have provided some fun entertainment. He has kind of a glasses obsession so they were a perfect toy for him.

Yesterday we went to the zoo and while we were waiting for our friends Ezra did not want to stay in the stroller. So we let him out to check out the tulips and walk off some energy. Damon's cousin, Andrea, got Ezra the Puma jacket and I think he looks so grown-up in it. And cute.

That's all I got!

Enough

2011-04-28T15:20:00.001-04:00

When I was in high school there was a show on TV called, My So Called Life. Sadly, there was only one season because it was pretty good show. I recently discovered that it was on Netflix and have indulged myself in watching some of the episodes. It's brought back a lot of memories of obsessing over those coming of age issues like dating, drinking and just trying to navigate how you fit in. I remember thinking how the lead character, Angela, was always saying something deep and profound. I wanted to be more like her. (I also wanted to kiss Jordan Catalano.) Watching the show now I chuckle at some of what she said but I can see how I latched on to some of it. The other day I actually paused the show so I could write down one of her quotes that even at the age of 33 resonated with me.

"People always say you should just be yourself. Like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster or something. Like you know what it is even. But sometimes I'll have like a moment. Where being myself, right where I am, is enough."

Some days it is hard to just let what I have and who I am be enough. I have every reason to feel content and most days I do. But my mind still wanders. Where does my mind go? Let's see. What about baby Buster #2? Will that ever happen? When it is time to go back to work what will I do? I've always been jealous of people who knew that they wanted to be an architect or a professor or a minister or whatever. Obviously, I have always wanted to be a mom but there is something outside that role that I would like to do. I just don't know what yet. So many questions and not enough focusing on today. I imagine we all have these types of things that we let get in the way of the here and now. I've also had this pressing desire to go back to Ethiopia so I can visit Ezra's home village. I want to see the hospital where he was born. I want to go to his first orphanage. I simply would like to soak in all the sights and smells of the area. I know we'll make it happen at some point and the right time will present itself. But letting go of knowing exactly when this will be is hard. Today's joys should be enough. That's what I am trying to focus on. I need to really savor things like watching Ezra walk towards me with a big grin on his face or seeing his face light up when he sees a balloon at the grocery store. Even on days like yesterday when it was tantrum city around here I can relish in the glass of wine I will have when he goes to bed. I need to listen to Angela and let what I have, in this moment, be enough.

A Prayer in Spring

2011-04-25T11:50:00.001-04:00

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;

And give us not to think so far away

As the uncertain harvest, keep us here

All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,

Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;

And make us happy in the happy bees,

The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird

That suddenly above the bees is heard,

The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,

And off a blossom in mid-air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,

To which it is reserved for God above

to sanctify what far ends He will,

But which it only needs that we fulfill.

-Robert Frost

Earth Day Outing

2011-04-23T10:30:00.001-04:00

Since yesterday was Earth Day, Amy and I decided to take the boys to the Franklin Park Conservatory. It was raining so it seemed like a good indoor outing that was still earthy. I think all four of us had a great time. Here are some photos from the day.

They have a really great fish pond and we let the boys out of their strollers to get a closer look. You can't help but smile when you look at these photos. Such cuties.

Oh yes, and this is what happened when Ezra realized I wasn't right behind him.

He seems to prefer to have me close by these days. Doesn't it look like T is telling him to chill out? As we were leaving a butterfly landed on T's bright orange shirt. I think Amy was a little concerned T might try to eat the butterfly but he just watched it in amazement.

"Joy in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift." -Albert Einstein

Walking Boy

2011-04-15T09:25:00.001-04:00

Warning: If you are going to view this at work or near a sleeping baby you will want to turn the volume WAY down. My voice apparently gets annoyingly high pitched when I am giving positive reinforcement. I am sure the Tiger Mother would disapprove. And I apologize for the poor video quality but you get the idea. Oh how I love his little legs.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Something New Everyday

2011-04-12T15:13:00.000-04:00

Damon has taught Ezra a few things recently that are quite adorable. I don't know what inspired Damon to do this but he now has Ezra saying "ahhhh" after he drinks water from his sippy cup. I laugh every time he does it and Ezra thinks it is pretty funny too. The other thing is he has shown Ezra how to smell flowers. This morning Ezra pointed to some flowers in his book and made the sniffing sound. So the flowers don't have to be real flowers but he'll smell fake flowers too. For some reason, bananas also fall in the category of sniffing. Ezra will point to the bananas on the counter and I'll hand them to him and he'll sniff. Funny boy.

Over the past few weeks Ezra has really been adding to his vocabulary. I LOVE watching him discover that he can say a word. Yesterday we were at the store and we were in the aisle with the diapers. He was pointing at the pictures of the babies and then said "baby" very deliberately. It was so cute and he was pleased with himself for saying it. His voice is precious and it sounds a little different from when he is just babbling baby talk. It is more high pitched and I love it. We brought home a box of wipes and there was a picture of a baby on it. He discovered he could play peek-a-boo with that baby. He would turn his head away from the baby and then turn back and say"boo." Of course, when I went to get my video camera he stopped doing it. Stinker.

The other big news is that Ezra is starting to take steps on his own. He has created a little obstacle course in our family room where he will go from his toy cube to the couch to the chair and then do it over and over again. Each time he reaches the next pit stop without falling he gets excited. This morning he got daring and just started walking into open space and made it pretty far before he plopped down on his tush. It's just been in the past day or two that he has been getting better about falling. Before he would trip over himself and face plant and then cry. He still does that sometimes but I was glad to see him just plop down rather than fall forward. I would like to say officially that I was right and Ezra went straight to walking. No crawling. Ever. He still makes no attempts to crawl. I guess he decided he was too mature to crawl. At least, we'll pretend that's the case. My mom has requested a video of the walking so I'll be sure to post it here as well. Thank goodness he is doing all these cute things to balance out the time outs for screaming. I suppose that is what toddlerhood is all about.

Friday Favorite Photo

2011-04-08T17:50:00.003-04:00

Why do I find this sleeping position to be so darn cute?

Adventures in Cooking

2011-04-06T20:05:00.001-04:00

If you know Damon and me well then you know that for the duration of our marriage Damon has done ALL the cooking. I could count on my hands the number of times I have cooked a meal. Actually it isn't even just our marriage because in college I didn't cook either. I did the dishes and my friends cooked. If someone wasn't cooking then I would resort to cereal or a turkey sandwich for dinner. Pathetic, I know. I'm not sure why I have always been averse to cooking. Part of it has to do with irrational fears about cooking meat. There is a reason I was a vegetarian for 6 years. Damon has definitely spoiled me the past eight years. He is an excellent cook and he learned most of it from his dad and his willingness to experiment. Right around the time we got married this lack of cooking came up in a conversation with my Grandma Edie. She was actually a very progressive, forward thinking person but she was appalled that I didn't cook. I remember very clearly that she said something to me like, "Emily, what if Damon dies? Then you won't even know how to cook a roast!" I laughed because whether or not Damon is alive or dead I would never want to eat a roast!

Fast forward to now and I am a changed woman! I knew that as we got closer to bringing Ezra home that my habits in the kitchen would need an overhaul. Damon never said to me that since I was staying home I needed to learn to cook but it was a silent goal I set for myself. Also ever since my Grandma Edie passed away last year I have really wanted to cook a roast to make her proud. And let's face it. I wanted to make myself proud too. Last week I did it. I cooked a roast. Never mind that I called Damon at least 5 times while in process and never mind that one of those times I might have been crying. I did it. I managed to take a few photos in between my moments of panic about touching the blood and meat contamination.

I made an Irish stew and it was delicious! Damon kept telling me how good it was and I think given all the phone calls he was pretty surprised.

I would say I cook the majority of our food these days. Damon still likes to cook and will often whip up something tasty on the weekends or will help me finish things up once he is home during the week. I know it is a luxury that I am able to cook during nap time and I am so grateful that I have had this time to learn to cook. I will also tell you that we have frozen pizza more than I care to admit and that my cooking adventures have not always turned out well. But this is a huge step for me. I wish I could cook and take photos like the Pioneer Woman but I am not that talented. I did manage to snap a shot of the lentil soup I made recently. Yummers.

And I have made my mom's lasagne recipe a few times too. Here it is ready to go in the oven.

Now we just need to get this little guy to start chewing so he can enjoy some of the food too.

Clearly, he is skeptical. He starts feeding therapy next week so cross your fingers!

Good Manners

2011-04-02T11:20:00.000-04:00

I thought since my last post was all about Ezra's bad behavior that I should write a little bit about his good behavior. Ezra has really taken to the sign language and it has been a great way to teach him good manners. He has been signing please for a while now but I would always have to prompt him, which was fine. Now he will occasionally point to something that he wants and sign please before I even prompt him. I love it!! The other day I was reading him a book and there was something about please in the book. He immediately did the sign for it. He doesn't sign thank you nearly as much as please but that is okay. I smile every time he tells me please or thank you.

Ezra is also very affectionate. He started giving hugs and kisses several months ago and I think it is one of his favorite things to do. There are times when he will just lean over and plant a wet one on my mouth for no apparent reason. Ezra's favorite things to kiss are his stuffed animals. They get hugs and kisses all day long. He also kisses the animals in his books. The way he gives a hug is almost like a little dance. He puts the animal up to his chest and moves his shoulders back and forth. Here he is giving his mouse a hug and a kiss. His love for mousie is intense.

It makes me melt. He is such a little lover. My hope is that Ezra will always find such joy in hugs and kisses.

Time-Out

2011-03-28T10:40:00.000-04:00

A little over a month ago, I decided it was time to start time-outs with Ezra. I know it seems early but he was ready. Trust me. When we are at home he is 90% of the time very sweet and just wants to play and explore. However, around his first birthday he started with some of the typical toddler behavior. It seemed a little early to me but he is clever so I shouldn't have been surprised. When he was a little younger he would do stuff like put the remote in his mouth and I would tell him no. Then he would look at me and start to do it again. He was beginning to test me. Usually though I could just take it away and that was that. Out of sight. Out of mind. Then he went through this little phase that when I told him no he would hit me. Oh my, I was not happy about that new development. I would tell him no and he would do it again. That was when I started the time-outs. My logic was that if he is smart enough to test me then he is smart enough to understand time-out. I always warn him that if the hitting or screaming or whatever happens again then it's a time-out. At first he definitely didn't understand what was happening but he caught on quickly. I am happy to say that the hitting rarely happens anymore. His biggest behavior issue now is the screaming. Yesterday morning he wanted to play with one of the cords behind the TV. I am a mean mom and don't let him do this. He screamed in protest and I told him no. When he did it again I told him that it would be a time-out if he screamed again. He stopped screaming. Yay! It has happened on several occasions now that after the warning he'll stop. It is glorious! Since he is still so young the time-out is usually only 30 seconds - 1 minute. I also have us kiss and hug after the time out and he seems okay. I really did not think I would be doing time-outs with Ezra before he started walking. We have entered the toddler phase without the toddling. (Although I think he will be walking soon.)

I am at a bit of a loss of what to do when he misbehaves and we are in public. I have to say that when we run errands together he does great. He likes riding in the shopping cart and so far I haven't had any trouble in that arena. Also, he does well with outdoor activities and tolerates his stroller for a long period of time. However, if we are at a loud and bustling restaurant or an indoor play space that is when we have more trouble. It seems to me that he gets overstimulated in those environments pretty quickly and that he is intimidated by bigger kids. Last week we were at the play cafe we go to a lot and he hit his buddy, Tesfa. I told him no and he screamed. I can't really do a time out in that environment. Or can I? Ezra understands a lot but I don't think I can say something like, "when we are home you will go straight to time-out" because that is too advanced. My gut reaction was to just walk outside with him, which I did. It didn't really help so in the end I decided we should just leave. It was a bummer.

I also have to say that I never thought I would be very good at discipline. My mom would joke that from observing us with our dog that it was pretty clear Damon would be the disciplinarian. Damon will yell at the dog for something and she usually comes running to me. It's kinda funny. I guess since I am home with Ezra all day it makes sense that I have to step up to that role. I'm patting myself on the back.

Okay, no more discipline talk. He is still a sweet, lovable boy!

Mr. Giggles

2011-03-24T09:15:00.003-04:00

It is a cold, nasty day here in Ohio. So here is something to improve your mood. We have Aunt Abby to thank as she was the one making Ezra laugh. Apparently peek-a-boo with some word variation is quite funny. Enjoy!

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Unexpected Questions

2011-03-21T08:06:00.001-04:00

Before Ezra came home I read about lots of crazy questions random strangers would ask parents that had adopted transracially. I started to prepare myself for when people would ask me stuff like, "is he your's?" I am shocked to say that in the seven months we have been home with Ezra I haven't received any questions like that. Zero. I have received a few intrusive questions about his background but even those questions have been few and far between. When we first came home I remember going into grocery stores and practically bracing myself for what I considered to be the inevitable. I am sure those questions will come and actually Kevin Hofmann, a transracial adoptee, wrote a blog post recently about the grocery store questions that I found to be very helpful. I recommend clicking over and reading his post. We do get a lot of comments about Ezra. One of the bazillion things I love about Ezra is that he brings out a smile in anyone. Anywhere I go people just look at him and smile. It always happens! We get a lot of comments like, "what a cutie" or "look at those eyes." Most people just say something nice and then go on their way. There are two questions that we get asked very frequently and they are not what I expected.

Spring Break

2011-03-18T14:42:00.001-04:00

My sister and dad were both on spring break this week so my family met up in my sister's lovely city for several days. Sadly, Damon couldn't come so it was my first time to fly solo with Ezra. It was no easy task! Luckily the flight was only one hour so I just kept telling myself that if he freaked out then it would just be for an hour. On the way there he did great. As we were getting ready to land I could tell he was getting a little fidgety. I looked over at him and he did the sign for "all done." It was hilarious! I taught him that sign for food purposes but he uses it for a lot of things. He does it when he is bored with a certain toy or when he is ready to get out of the bath. I think it is pretty clever of him. I was ready to be done with the flight too so I understood how he felt. He was a bit of a mess on the flight back but it was close to bedtime and he hadn't really napped that day so I knew I was in for it when we boarded. We both survived and the look he gave Damon when we walked through security was priceless. He almost looked surprised to see him but was so excited that his "Dada" was there. I know it made Damon's day.

Thankfully my sister took several photos so here are a few of the highlights.

Ezra experienced his first carousel ride at the zoo. To say that he was skeptical would be an understatement.

We went to a lot of delicious restaurants and Ezra did great. One night we went for sushi and Ezra was very interested in a five year old little girl at the next table. He kept trying to get her attention but she was not amused. Hilarious.

One of the days we were there it snowed. Boo! So we had to come up with some indoor activities. Ezra's really into shredding paper these days. Aunt Abby was a very good sport and let Ezra go to town with some paper in her apartment. Whatever it takes.

In the afternoon we went to a kid's museum and Ezra got to steer the boat. They also had a room with mirrors on all sides and he loved seeing himself in triplicate!

Of course, there was lots of time for snuggles with Grandma Kathy.

And he did manage to squeeze in a few naps in between all the fun!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-10T07:35:00.004-05:00

**Updated: Oh my!!! Just realized that it is not Wednesday. Oh well. I am leaving it because it shows how my brain is currently functioning! HA HA!! He is still cute no matter what day it is!

No Joy for Soy

2011-03-09T14:36:00.001-05:00

It has been a rough few days here in the Buster household. Unfortunately, Ezra's belly did not enjoy the joy of soy as I had hoped. His poor little GI system is having such a tough time. After talking with Ezra's doctor yesterday we have decided to switch him back to his formula. Another adoptive mom had suggested this to me and I think it is for the best. The past few days he was in so much pain and I hated that there wasn't much I could do to help him in the short term. He did start saying "Mama" pretty consistently but it was hard to celebrate since he did it while squeezing my neck in pain. Luckily, he seems to be on the mend and last night was acting like his normal, goofy self as he pretended to sneeze. I kept saying "bless you" in a high pitched voice and I think he thought it was funny. Damon and I were both laughing pretty hard at Ezra's fake sneezes.

Last Friday I took Ezra to the adoption clinic for his 6 month follow-up and all the nurses there remembered him from when we first brought him home. (at least they told me they did.) They were impressed with how well he mimics and how much he seems to understand. I love that at our adoption clinic a lot of the nurses and aids have adopted themselves. One of the nurse practitioners was holding him while I put my coat on and Ezra was reaching for me. She commented how great it was that he preferred me. Most people outside of adoption circles don't usually notice that attachment stuff so it's nice that they are in the know. Side note: Have I mentioned that I think nursing is probably one of the most under appreciated professions? I really think I need to write an ode to nurses. The nurses at the adoption clinic and at our pediatrician's office have so wonderful and even with my own medical stuff I have consistently encountered nurses that I would consider to be angels. Thank you nurses of the world for being so amazing!

The bummer part about the results from his trip the clinic is that it looks like Ezra may have to do a 9 month antibiotic treatment as a precaution for a dormant TB germ. I was pretty upset when the nurse told me Ezra will have to get a chest xray. The thought of him being in a white tube by himself and not having any idea what is going on makes me want to cry. I know it will be over fast but Ezra does not even like it when they take his temperature. It will be an ugly couple of minutes for him and for me. I know there are far worse things so I will put my brave face on for him and maybe find a new toy to give him when it is over.

Adding to my frail emotions this week, there are some rumors swirling around about possible changes in Ethiopia regarding inter-country adoption. If you are not entrenched in the Ethiopian adoption community then you may not have heard about this. Basically the government ministry that oversees adoptions in Ethiopia is talking about drastically reducing the number of cases they would process a day resulting in major slow downs. My understanding is that government officials are meeting this week to discuss these changes. As I was telling my mom about these rumors over the weekend, I had to fight to hold back tears. There is absolutely the need for reform and there are most certainly agencies that are not acting in the best interest of all parties involved. It makes my stomach hurt knowing that birth families have been deceived. However, I hope the government can come to a resolution that will allow adoptions to move forward in an ethical manner without such drastic slow downs. The emotions of the adoption process are still very raw for me. This time last year we were anxiously awaiting our referral. There is a reason anxious is in bold. I was a mess. I can only imagine the fear and doubt that is creeping into the minds of families currently in process. I am trying to hold on to hope for them, the children and the people of the Ethiopia. Selfishly, I can't help but think of the diminished possibility of bringing home another son or daughter that shares Ezra's culture and ethnicity.

Here is a link to a sign a petition.

http://www.gopetition.com/petition/43714.html

Tuesday Tangents

2011-03-01T13:33:00.000-05:00

Ezra has cut his second tooth. His little grin is even more cute to me now. I may be regretting that I said the teething process doesn't seem to be bothering him. He has not napped well the past couple of days and last night he woke up at midnight crying. I suppose it could have been a nightmare but his napping issues during the day seemed to point to teething. Or maybe it was stomach problems. I wish he could tell me.

Ezra is starting to get really good at pulling himself up on things. You can tell once he has reached the standing position that he is so pleased with himself. He flashes you a great grin and gets all excited. He has reached a stage when all he wants to do is stand or walk. However he can't stand on his own unless he has something to hold on to and he definitely can't take steps independently yet. This means that I am getting a pretty good workout. My mom told me my jeans are going to have holes in the knees pretty soon. I am glad he is wanting to do these things but it wears me out! Too bad my birthday is still 6 months away because I know I would be asking for gift certificates for a massage.

It is possible that Ezra looked at me this morning and said, "Mama." It totally took me off guard so I can't say for sure. He has been babbling the "Ma" sound a lot recently but he has never addressed me with that term. Stay tuned.

I have started ~~brainwashing~~ teaching Ezra about politics. Too early? Perhaps. However, what I am teaching him is very cute. He hasn't quite perfected it yet but when he does I promise to post a video. No matter what your politics, I promise it will make you smile.

Ezra and I went to a 1st birthday party this past weekend for one of my friend's daughters. I was talking with the birthday girl's grandma and she was asking me some questions about Ezra. And then she said something incredibly refreshing. She told me, "You guys are so blessed to have Ezra." Yes! Usually people say the opposite and tell us how lucky Ezra is that we adopted him. I know the intentions are kind and they are just trying to pay us a compliment. However, it always makes me cringe. I know a lot of adoptive moms write about this and how hard it is to respond to that comment. I am glad Ezra isn't able to understand those words yet. The circumstances that led to his adoption are far from lucky. I don't want him to ever feel he owes us extra gratitude. He made me a mom and Damon a dad. We are the grateful ones. I also know that as an adoptive mom I am much more in tune with the loss that leads to adoption and I don't expect everyone to get that. Heck, I am sure before adoption was on my radar screen I may have said the same thing to an adoptive parent. So it was just so wonderful to have someone recognize how we feel.

Two years ago today my Grandma Virgina passed away. I have been thinking about her a lot this morning and what she would have to say about Ezra. My Grandma was well known for using superlatives a lot in her speech. Everything was always the best, most, funniEST, etc. Perhaps she would have said he is the most expressive baby ever or he has the biggest eyes. At some point when I was in high school my Grandma put together a folder for me with photos and descriptions of all the things she was doing when she was my age. I think it was a way to show me how some things had changed yet others remained constant. She was always teaching. I used that as inspiration for an assignment in a creative writing class in high school. It was the one poem my teacher, who was known for being a tough grader, gave me an "A." My mom recently found the poem and sent it to me. I thought it would be fun to share.

I sit on the cold hard floor

of my grandma's attic

photo albums surrounding me.

Yellow faded pages crinkle with every slight touch,

each black and white picture carefully dated.

I turn page after page,

delicately,

hardly blinking.

Grandma and Great Uncle Ross

playing marbles - 1921

Creating obstacles

with furniture, twigs, and utensils.

Ballroom dancing lessons - 1928

Face Flushed

Stuck with a short toe stepper

Stumbling through the fox trot.

Thanksgiving dinner - 1930

cutting carrots and potatoes

Being helpful.

Standing outside Border Star School - 1931

Alice on one side, June on the other

Dressed in kimonos

Chrysanthemums in their hair

She is my age - 1935

Packing her Royal Typewriter and Atwater Kent Radio

Off to an all girls' college in Boston.

She smiles,

eyes filled with hope,

suitcases full of promises.

Lastly, a photo for you as the final tangent of the day.

As my grandma would have said, the cutEST.

A Tooth!

2011-02-23T10:45:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is true. Ezra has finally cut his first tooth at the elderly age of 13 months! He has been working on this tooth for a long time. It makes me laugh to think how many times over the past 6 months I declared that, "he was teething and must be getting ready to cut a tooth any day now!" Any day now? Boy, was I off on my predictions. I noticed that it had cut through a few days ago and Damon and I were so excited! The other bottom tooth is also right at the surface and hopefully we will be celebrating that tooth soon too. The good thing is that it didn't really seem to bother him. I know some people say their kids get a fever or don't sleep well but the tooth cut through without any of that. Knocking on wood that trend continues. I had to trick him with a bite of food to get him to open his mouth in a way so I could get a picture of the tooth.

I seriously wondered if he would ever get teeth. Congrats, Ezra!

I also thought I would share a few cute photos from last week. We had two days of unseasonably warm weather and it was glorious to be outside and not have to bundle up in heavy coats and hats. I think Ezra enjoyed it too!

Here's to hoping that warmer weather comes back soon!

Transracial Adoption Panel

2011-02-19T10:20:00.001-05:00

A week ago I attended a panel about transracial adoption led by two adult adoptees. It was such a great event and all week I have been mulling over several things that were discussed. My mom was able to join me and I know she found it to be extremely informative. The room was packed and it made me feel really good about Columbus. The first speaker was Rhonda Roorda and she along with Dr. Rita Simon wrote, In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories. They have written two other books as well. The second speaker was Kevin Hofman and he wrote, Growing up Black in White. Kevin also has a blog that I have been following for a while now. I bought both of their books and am eager to read them. They spoke very openly with our group and took the time at the beginning to share some personal stories about growing up in white families. Rhonda told us about an African American woman at her family's church who took her under her wings and how important that was to her. Throughout her presentation Rhonda used the metaphor of a garden and giving your children tools that they can use along the way. She said that perhaps your child will seem disinterested in having an African American mentor but she advised that as parents we should think long term. Even if something is rejected initially they may be able to use that tool later in life. It made me think of one of the videos we had to watch for our home study training. The woman speaking was adopted from Korea as a baby. She said when she was little her parents tried to introduce her to Korean food or take her to Asian festivals but she just wanted to get a happy meal like all her friends. So after a while her parents stopped trying. She wished as she got older they had tried again because it was something she wondered about but didn't want to bring it up and possibly hurt her parents' feelings. Kevin and Rhonda both reiterated this point of when you are kid you just want to be like everyone else but as you come of age and begin your search for identity it is important to be able to talk about and explore those things that make you unique.

Kevin talked about how great it was that during part of his childhood his parents moved their family to a predominantly African American neighborhood and so he was constantly surrounded by other people that looked like him. It provided him with a firm foundation. He also discussed the reverse of that and how it was hard when they moved again and this time to a mostly white neighborhood. He wasn't used to being in situations when he was surrounded by only white people. Kevin told us about how certain friendships were instrumental for him. He had a best friend who was white yet that friend sympathized with Kevin and the adversities he faced as an African American. If Kevin told his friend that he thought he was treated a certain way because he was black then his friend wouldn't try and defend the other person but would speak truthfully and tell him that his suspicions were probably right. The whole time Kevin and Rhonda were presenting, I was thinking about how I am going to infuse more diversity into our lives and create types of opportunities for Ezra that will allow him to connect with others of his race and ethnicity. Obviously I can't force friendships but there are things I CAN do. Kevin prepared a handout titled, Advice From An Adoptee To Mom. It is eloquent, to the point and it made me cry (in a good way). He said that after they moved to the white neighborhood he remembers moments where he was outside playing and could see his mom watching from the window. Now that he is an adult and a parent himself he knows that his mom was checking to make sure he was okay and was accepted by the other neighborhood kids. He wishes he could go back in time and tell her that he was okay and was figuring things out. Every time I read that part I tear up because that is really the ultimate goal in raising kids. We want them to be okay.

Kevin created a list of several things he recommends adoptive parents discuss with their kids. What stuck with me after reading the list is that it all boils down to creating an environment where differences can be discussed openly and that parents need to lead the way. Kevin wrote, "Prepare me for the probable while praying for the possible." That really hit me. He said it would have made things easier for him had he been more prepared for the racism he would encounter in his life. Of course, I hope and pray with all my heart that Ezra is never treated differently because of his skin but I know that the chances are slim and it will be something he'll need advice on how to handle. And I know that I won't always be the best person to give him that advice. Both Kevin and Rhonda encouraged us to reach out and ask for help even if it feels uncomfortable. Such good advice.

I wish I could have tape recorded the event and played it for all of you. Rhonda signed her book and addressed it to Ezra. She wrote, " To Ezra: I hope you will enjoy reading this book! Celebrate you and your beautiful family. Best Wishes!" Our family IS beautiful. I'm so thankful for adult adoptees like Kevin and Rhonda who are willing to share their stories with the hope of helping and encouraging others.

February 15th

2011-02-15T12:55:00.001-05:00

On February 15th, 2010 Ezra made the journey from Awassa to Addis and spent his first day at the Gladney Foster Homes. It may seem like a strange day to commemorate but I believe it is a very significant day in Ezra's history. He was so tiny yet from the photos that we have of him on that day you can visibly see his fighting spirit. It looks like he is exercising those powerful lungs that he still likes to show off today! When we got our referral I remember being blown away by how much healthier he looked at 4 months old compared to 4 weeks old. He was still a small 4 month old but the differences were staggering. This morning I have been thinking a lot of the nannies that nursed him back to health. The time he spent with them was such a turning point in his life. Their love and care changed his health status from 'failure to thrive' to THRIVING. One of my long time friends is a pediatrician and we asked her to look over Ezra's medical history when we got our referral. I remember her telling me that one of the main reasons she went into pediatrics was because children are resilient. I think Ezra is resilient personified. When Damon and I were in Ethiopia, the Gladney in-country coordinator told us that he would occasionally take photos of Ezra to his original orphanage in Awassa and the workers there were shocked. Thinking about that always brings tears to my eyes. Such a miracle.

I went back and checked my blog to see what Damon and I were up to mid-February last year and I happened to be writing a lot about gratitude. We were working to raise money for shoes for kids in South Africa through our team at Common Threadz and I had shared my overwhelming sense of peace about our journey to adopt. How fitting. Today feels like an appropriate day to share some quotes on gratitude that I was focusing on last February.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. "

-Melodie Beattie

"For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. " - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recent Photos

2011-02-08T11:21:00.008-05:00

I am going through a phase where I don't like anything that I have to say. I started two blog posts over the past few days and got halfway through and hated how I sound. I either sounded like a whiny brat or like I am the coolest person ever, which I clearly am not. Blech. Now I sound whiny again. This weather could be getting to me. It is probably best I just share some cute photos with you and then be on my way.

In exciting news Grandma Kathy is on her way to Ohio. She must really miss her grandson to brave this winter weather. She is coming a day earlier than planned to get out of Oklahoma before more winter weather arrives. I think a visit from Mom/Grandma is exactly what my spirit needs. Here is a sweet picture of them together over Christmas break. I am sure there will be a lot more of this over the next few days.

I recently checked out a Baby Einstein video from the library that is all about farm animals and Ezra loves it. I try to avoid tv with him as much as possible but I figure a little Baby Einstein here and there isn't going to do permanent damage, especially when he looks like this watching it! I can't wait to take him to the zoo this spring!

I had to take Ezra to the doctor's office yesterday morning. This is how he felt.

He just wanted to curl up on my lap with his blankey. Very unlike him these days. So sad. After his 12 month check-up we started transitioning him off formula and on to whole milk. It has not gone well. After doing some reading online, I am pretty convinced he has an intolerance to milk, which would explain the tummy troubles he has had as long as we have known him. And it explains why the transition to whole milk has exacerbated the problem. We are now trying soy and I am hopeful it will help. It is a bit ironic because I also have a milk intolerance and used to do soy everything. (I recently switched to almond milk.) You could say that Damon is not thrilled about the idea of living with 2 people with dairy issues. We shall see.

He is feeling much better this morning. Yes, I remembered to put slippers on him but not pants. In my defense, I only had one cup of coffee this morning.

Lastly, this is what it looks like at our house when the kids hear the garage door in the evening.

Dad is home!!

Still Adjusting?

2011-02-01T10:03:00.001-05:00

Our first child, the dog, seems to still be in the adjustment phase of our adoption. I actually thought she was doing much better and didn't seem to be sulking around as much as she did when Ezra first came home. Remember these photos? I thought the dog would like our new arrangement since I am home more and not at work all day. Most days she just follows us around but keeps to herself. Our days usually look like this:

However, over the past few weeks she has been acting out a bit. Thankfully, she is not at all aggressive towards Ezra but she shows her jealously in other ways. For example, last week Ezra was playing in his exersaucer and I was sitting on the floor close by. She clearly wanted to be noticed and was going to make sure of it.

She positioned herself in between Ezra and me so that I could barely see Ezra. Ha! She just sat there and didn't want to move. Sigh. Last week she bit a hole in my pants and when Ezra and I were upstairs she stayed downstairs and chewed up the kleenex box. I guess sometimes you take one step forward and two steps back. Here's to hoping this is just a phase. How could she not love this face?

Shirts and Slippers

2011-01-27T11:43:00.001-05:00

Several months ago Damon's parents (aka Nanna and Poppy) were out shopping for their grandkids. They visited a very popular kid's clothing store and discovered that a shirt was designed specifically for Ezra and his cousin! I have been so excited for Ezra to grow into this shirt and it finally fits. Check out the Buster shirt!

Hilarious, right? I love it! Also, please notice the adorable little slippers on Ezra's feet. Over the past couple of years Damon's mom has knit a pair of slippers for probably all of her family members and several friends. Even my best friend has a pair! This past weekend we were visiting Damon's parents and his mom measured Ezra's feet. On Wednesday we got a package in the mail with his new slippers enclosed.

They fit him perfectly. Ezra is constantly pulling his socks off so I am glad his feet will now stay warm. AND they look good, which is of course the most important thing. Thank you, Nanna!!

All About Ezra - 12 months

2011-01-24T18:45:00.002-05:00

I realize that the title of this post is a little silly because this blog has basically turned into all about Ezra all the time. Oh well. Hopefully in the future I will occasionally come up with some intelligent things to say and you don't have to read about me rambling on about Ezra all the time. Ezra did have his 12 month check-up on Friday and I think that is a pretty big deal.

The Stats:

He weighs 19lbs 8oz and is 28 inches long. I thought for sure he would be at least 20lbs and would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. I am not sure why I was disappointed but I think I had the expectation that he would be 20lbs so it felt like a let down. Weird, I know. BUT the big news is that he is finally on the charts! When we got his referral we were told he was just shy of 4 months and weighed 9.7lbs. At the time I went to check and see what percentile that was. All of my mom friends were always talking about what percentile their kid was. I thought this was a stat I needed to know so I could talk about my kid in mom-speak. If you are an experienced mom then you are probably laughing at me because he wasn't even close to being on the percentile chart. He was so far off the charts that I am embarrassed that I even thought to look. Even at his 9 month check-up he was still considered to be below the 3rd percentile, which means not on the charts. So when they told me he was 7th percentile for weight and 5th percentile for height I was ecstatic. Of course, he is still small by American standards and probably always will be. I don't think we are raising a future Sumo wrestler. It is worth mentioning that even though he isn't 20lbs he has come so far and we have so much to celebrate. When we were at the doctors there was a med student that was shadowing her for the day. We were reviewing his height and weight and the doctor was showing us his growth curve. She was also excited with how far he has come and was sharing in my joy that he was officially on the charts. Since it seemed a little strange our doctor turned the chart towards the med student to show her why we were giddy over the 5th percentile. All of his measurements from 4 weeks old are on there and I noticed a dramatic change in her facial expression when she scanned the chart and saw where he started. She let out an "Oh" and got a sad look on her face. He has come a long way and is such a little miracle. Our doctor said that most kids really start to level off a bit at this age in terms of growth but that she suspects Ezra's curve will continue to increase. He is happy and healthy and that is what matters!

our happy boy

Communication & Personality:

Ezra continues to be quite the communicator and has learned some new signs. There are days when I think we are actually "talking" to each other quite well and then other days we get our wires crossed. For example, last night we were giving him a smoothie. He had eaten quite a bit so I asked him using the signs if he was all done or if he wanted to more. His response was to point to his nose. Hmmmmm. Not quite sure what went wrong there. He is very good at pointing to various body parts if you ask him and sometimes he will point to my mouth and then point to his and do it over and over again. It's pretty darn cute.

Ezra continues to make friend wherever we go and forces me to more chatty than usual. We stopped by one of our local libraries last week and three different librarians approached us. One of them handed me the flyer with their story time hours and personally asked Ezra if he would come. HA! I usually don't go to that branch but I think I will have to take Ezra back to see those nice librarians. Have I mentioned that the Columbus Metro Library System was awarded the 2010 Library of the Year? Pretty cool.

It is possible that Ezra might have a little OCD. The other day we were playing in his room and he saw a piece of lint and kept pointing to it. He eventually picked it up and handed it to me and it was like he was saying, "please remove this dirt from my room." On the same day there also happened to be a little piece of string. He pointed that out to me as well. I promise the room was recently swept but I guess not to his standards.

The tiny piece of lint next to the red ring. This was right before he picked it up.

See the hand attempting to reach the string? I do love that chubby hand.

Food:

The jury is still out on whether or not he will be a picky eater. Damon and I have had the hardest time getting him to eat stage 3 baby food. He gags like crazy every time we try. His gag reflex is pretty intense. There has to be something about the chunkiness that he doesn't like. We mentioned this to the doctor and she said some kids don't like the stage 3 but are fine with mashed up regular food even if it has some chunks. She suggested we try some smoothies. Success! He gobbled it up and didn't seem too upset about some random chunks of banana. Hopefully we can introduce more and more and the gagging will decrease. He still has NO teeth. The doctor did say that it looks like his bottom teeth are very close and that it shouldn't be long. Both Damon and I have noticed that his bottom gums have gotten very swollen so we are crossing our fingers it will be any day now.

playing with prunes

Obsessions:

Ezra's love for stuffed animals/friends continues to grow. If there is a stuffed animal in his vision he wants it and makes his opinion known pretty forcefully that he must have it immediately. Once the animal is in his arms he will always kiss and hug it. I have to say his kisses and hugs are pretty awesome. When he is a little tired he will snuggle his head into my chest and then lean in for a kiss and hug. He also loves to kiss characters in his books. Often I can't open the next page because it is stuck together with slobber. Ezra loves all toys with wheels and toys that make music. If the toy has a wheel AND makes music then he is in heaven. He has recently developed a new habit of requesting to go from room to room to touch light switches. I am not a fan of this game. But he likes it when I turn the switch on and show him the light and then turn it off. He could do this for longer than I care to try. Even though he has some weird obsessions I am so grateful I get spend the day playing with him.

Here are a few more photos of our 12 month old little boy. He is pure sweetness.

Ezra's 1st Birthday

2011-01-19T15:30:00.002-05:00

Ezra is 1! His birthday was overall a very good day and I am glad we decided to go for the low key option. Sadly, Damon didn't have the day off work so Ezra and I just had a regular day. We did go to the craft store for the second time in my life for a project that resulted in a huge failure. I will tell you more about that later. Here are a few shots of Ezra waiting for his dad to get home from work.

His facial expressions kill me. I had made pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese icing (Trader Joe's mix) the day before as his birthday treat. I guess it was more a treat for Damon and me since Ezra isn't into adult food yet. (This kid doesn't even like puffs yet! What kid doesn't like puffs?) But I wanted to let him attempt to smash it to pieces and maybe eat some icing.

This series of photos makes me laugh out loud. As you can tell he was happy at first when he thought he was just having his regular dinner. He was very skeptical of the cupcake. He did manage to make a mess but didn't seem to enjoy it. He was over it pretty quickly. I think Damon was quite pleased that his son took after him and did not enjoy being messy. I tried to feed him some of the icing and he didn't like it. What kid doesn't like cream cheese icing? Oh well. I would say his favorite part of the day was when we sang to him. That kid loves music.

After the cupcakes we attempted the craft project. About a week ago Damon and I were brainstorming ideas for his birthday. Damon came up with the idea to do his hand and foot prints. I thought it was brilliant. So I went to the craft store and got paint and construction paper and I was going to make it the colors of the Ethiopian flag. I was very excited to do this and thought it would be a nice keepsake. We got everything set up and then dipped his foot in the paint and all hell broke loose! He HATED it. He started crying at the same level as when he had blood drawn. It was awful. We tried to push through but quickly realized we were ruining his birthday so we called it quits on the craft project. Poor guy. Perhaps it was just too much messy for one day. We probably should have started with his hands too because I think that would have freaked him out less. Oh well, lesson learned.

It was still a fun day and Ezra got lots of phone calls, facebook messages and emails wishing him a happy birthday. Friday we go to the doctor for his 12 month check up. I am very eager to get his new measurements because we haven't had him weighed since his 9 month check up. He was 16.5 lbs at 9 months and based on the way my neck and shoulders feel I am thinking he is around 21 lbs.

Happy 1st Birthday, Ezra! Your dad and I love you so much!!

Almost a Year Ago

2011-01-15T15:58:00.001-05:00

Ezra's birthday is on Monday. Almost a year ago he was born in a hospital in Awassa, Ethiopia. This year his birthday falls on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which I love. I have been seriously conflicted about what to do to commemorate his birthday. I have gone back and forth a million times if we would have a party and invite friends over or not. Finally, last week Damon and I came to the decision that we would just do something the three of us rather than have a big shindig. Of course if he wants a party when he is older then we will do something. In the past few weeks leading up to his birthday I have been overcome with emotion. Not because he is getting older. But I am reminded of the loss that led to his adoption. I hadn't said much to Damon about this because I wondered if I was being melodramatic and I DO want to focus on celebrating Ezra's life and all the joy he brings to us. That's what birthdays are for. I don't want this sadness to be misinterpreted. However, last night Damon told me that he was feeling conflicted about January 17th too. I was so glad that we were able to talk about it together and that I wasn't alone. A few weeks ago I read a post from another adoptive mom who was also feeling sadness leading up to her twins' first birthday and she decided that she would be sad the day before the birthday so she could focus on celebrating their life on the actual day. That works for me too. So this weekend I am allowing myself to be sad. I am not beating myself up over it but am showing myself some grace. I understand now how parents can make the ultimate sacrifice for their children. Ezra's Ethiopian family is never far from my mind but this weekend they will be front and center. If you wouldn't mind saying a prayer for them I would be ever so grateful.

The Photo Shoot

2011-01-10T07:00:00.001-05:00

While we were in Tulsa over the holidays we had several days of really beautiful weather. I had been hoping that would be the case so we could have some professional photos done at one of Tulsa's best parks. I LOVE outdoor photos. Our friend, Maggie, did an AMAZING job and when I first saw the proofs I found myself wiping away tears. She captured his personality and joy for life in a way that I never could with a camera. I am so grateful. If you live in the Tulsa, OK area, I highly recommend Maggie S. Photography. Maggie has three boys so she is really great with kids. I wanted to post all of them but instead of giving you Ezra overload I picked my 10 favorite.

"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow under my heart - but in it." - Fleur Conkling Heylinger

Drama Boy

2011-01-07T18:35:00.000-05:00

Ezra definitely has a flare for the dramatic. Just in case he pursues a career in acting, I wanted to make sure I had it noted here that the drama started at an early age. Whenever he is playing on the floor I always put a pillow behind him. This isn't because he is unstable when seated. Ezra's mood changes quickly and one minute he will be playing contently and the next he is ticked off. His way of expressing his anger is to throw his head back quite forcefully. So I put the pillow there to cushion the blow. I know when he starts getting mad at his toys and throwing his head back that it is close to nap time.

There are many times when he is jabbering away and it looks like he is having an intense conversation with God. He will put his hands up, look up to the sky and while talking loudly he will shake his hands. It cracks me up every time but he seems quite serious about whatever conversation he is having.

Ezra has mastered two versions of a fake laugh and a fake cough. The first fake laugh is more of a "Ha Ha" sound and it seems as though he is mocking you. He just started the second fake laugh this week and it is a more extended laugh. It sounds closer to a real laugh but it is still fake. His real laugh is joyful and you can't help but join him.

The drama also comes out when you put Ezra on his belly. He DOES NOT like it one bit. I am actually thinking he may bypass crawling and go straight to walking since he spends so little time on his belly. Just in case you thought it was all laughs around here, this photo is a pretty good depiction of tummy time.

Poor dramatic baby. Does it make me a bad mom that I find this picture hilarious?

Holiday Memories

2011-01-04T12:30:00.001-05:00

We got back to Ohio on Sunday after spending the holidays with my family in Tulsa. It was Ezra's first trip to Tulsa and he did very well. He adjusted quickly and we were able to keep him on basically the same sleeping and eating schedule as if we were home. Ezra seemed very comfortable in Oklahoma! If you live far away from family members then I highly recommend taking advantage of Skype or Google Video. We Skype with my parents a few times a week and I think it has made a huge difference. Ezra clearly recognizes them and I am guessing he must also be familiar with their voices. He even fell asleep on my dad's lap one morning, which is very unusual for him these days since he is Mr. Squirmy. So sweet. There are so many other wonderful memories from his first Christmas that I don't want to forget.

On Christmas Eve morning we visited Santa at the same place where my parents took my sister and me when we were little. My mom has many a picture of us at the Santa House so it was fun to do the same thing with Ezra. That night we went to the early Christmas Eve service that seems to be the popular time for families with young children. Ezra loves music and singing so once the carols started he really enjoyed it. He also got to meet the minister, who also has an adopted child, that married Damon and me. It was a special moment. He told my mom at church on Sunday that Ezra "is shining." I thought that was so kind. Ezra is obviously a bit young to get into the whole present thing on Christmas morning but he got a lot of great gifts that he definitely enjoys. At one point I told Ezra to say thank you after we opened a gift and he did the sign for it for the very first time. I couldn't believe it and thought his timing was impeccable. I had been showing him that one for a while now and didn't realize he was picking up on it. Damon caught it on video. He did it several times that morning which made me so happy.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here he is in his Christmas outfit from my mom after all the presents were opened. I couldn't get him to smile. Perhaps he was experiencing the post holiday blues.

On the 26th my aunt, uncle and cousins from Kansas City came to visit. Ezra warmed up to all of them very quickly and I think they were pretty smitten with him too. Here is my cousin, Ali, reading his new Curious George book to him.

It was not shocking that one of their presents to him was a KU shirt. I actually think he looks pretty good in KU blue.

Ezra also got to meet several family friends and friends of mine from childhood. I didn't get all of these meetings on camera but here he is flirting with my friend, Valerie.

Another highlight was having some professional photos done of Ezra OUTSIDE at the park near my parents' house. One of our family friends recently started her own photography business and I have had visions for a while of having photos done at that particular park. Tulsa can really go either way in terms of weather in December. There could be an ice storm or the temperatures could be in the 50s and sunny. If you can believe it we had one day when it was 70 degrees. As soon as I saw the weather forecast, I emailed Maggie and luckily she was available that day. I have already seen the proofs and they are so good they brought me to tears. I can't wait to share them with you. I was grateful the weather cooperated and these are definitely the photos I dreamed of.

Ezra's vocabulary expanded while we were in Tulsa. He has started saying cat and duck. He also made big strides in standing on his own while holding on to something. He is definitely eager to be on the move. Ezra looks like such a little man in this photo.

One of the funniest things that he did while we were there was yell at our family dog, Phoebe. She was clearly jealous of Ezra and every time my mom held him she would bark. So for the first couple of days we were there Ezra observed all of us yell at her to stop barking. In his typical copy-cat style he started yelling too and even pointed his finger at her the way we did. It was my goal to get this on video and luckily we did.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I hope your holidays were filled with laughter and love.

Cheers to 2011!

Santa Visit

2010-12-24T13:53:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!

Flashback

2010-12-17T07:25:00.001-05:00

This morning Ezra and I are going to visit a friend and her 3 week old baby girl. Admittedly, I have moments of sadness that I didn't get to be with Ezra during those early stages of his life. I can usually talk myself out of them pretty easily but I surely would have loved to have cradled him in my arms at 3 weeks old. I have some pictures of him when he is 4 weeks and 6 weeks old and that is the furthest back they go. The photos of him at 4 weeks were taken by Gladney when he arrived at the Gladney foster homes in Addis. The photos from 6 weeks were taken by a friend/fellow adoptive mom, Maribeth, when she went to bring home her sons. At the time she didn't know he would be referred to us. After we got our referral, we exchanged a few emails and I described Ezra to her. Here was her response back to me. (Hopefully she is okay that I am quoting her.)

"Oh, Emily, I knew it! I woke up at 3 o'clock in the morning about 3 days after your referral and just knew that it was him. I am almost certain I know your little guy, and if it's who I'm thinking of, I have some pictures for you. This little guy is amazing."

As you can imagine, the tears started flowing as I read those words. I sent her some photos so she could confirm if it was him. After receiving the photos and confirming it was our guy, she told me a little bit more about her interaction with him.

"He was so tiny and fragile I was afraid to hold him. So, I just touched his sweet little face and let him hold my finger. I won't lie... he fascinated me. Just lying there in his crib, he was just so tiny... but he was wide awake and looking at everything going on around him. I would expect a malnourished child to be so weak that he couldn't interact with his environment, but he was definitely checking out all the people coming in and out of his room. He broke my heart, but I can't tell you how amazing it is that he's yours."

Her description of him is still so accurate to this day. He does not miss a beat! His physical appearance has obviously changed so much since those early days but the brightness of his eyes and the joy in his smile remains.

About two weeks after our referral another friend/fellow adoptive mom, Heidi, went to bring home her boys. Ezra was about 4 months old at the time of her visit. She was able to take some video of Ezra and I blogged about the excitement of receiving those videos. Since today is Ezra's 11 month birthday, I thought it would be fun to take a trip down memory lane and share those first videos. I still cry when I watch them. Enjoy.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

First Words

2010-12-14T08:15:00.000-05:00

I had mentioned on a previous blog post that Ezra was trying very hard to say the word, "stinky." It is from a book that I read to him. He is still trying very hard to say this word but if you didn't know that is what he is saying then you would have no clue. Does that still count as the first word? Or does it have to be something distinguishable? If so, then we have a winner in that department as well. Ezra has very clearly started looking and pointing at Damon and saying, "Dada." You can't mistake it. His voice is super high pitched when he says it and he gets the biggest grin on his face. Ezra has said "dada" as part of his babble talk for a while but he wasn't saying it in reference to anything. That has now changed. Can you sense that I am not at all jealous about this and am completely fine? Hmmmm. Even though I may be a wee bit jealous it is unbelievably cute. I may be giving him more credit than deserved but I also think Ezra associates the sound of the garage door with Damon. Two times in a row recently he heard the garage door and said, "Dada?" He was right that Damon was coming home. When Damon walks in the door Ezra kicks his legs and shakes his arms and says, "Dada." Damon doesn't have to tell me that it totally makes his day. I will admit to having a little chat with Ezra about the lack of "Mama" in his vocabulary. Hopefully, that day will be soon.

At the suggestion of fellow Gladney mom, Amy, I have started working with Ezra on baby signing. My mother-in-law taught it to my niece and I remember at a wedding my niece was sitting on my lap and she essentially constructed a sentence with two signs in a row. I was blown away and thought my niece was the smartest 18 month old ever. (I still think she is very smart.) Ezra seems to really like signing and I think it is because he is so eager to communicate and interact. So far he has mastered ceiling fan, light and book. He gets super excited when he points to those items and does the sign. I will do the sign back and praise him with lots of encouragement. He eats it right up.

Speaking of mouths, my little guy still has NO teeth. He will be 11 months old on Friday. Anyone else out there have a little one that was late to get teeth? I know they are in there somewhere. Everyday I ask him if he is ready to show me his teeth. So far, nothing.

I do love that toothless grin.

All Boys

2010-12-13T10:35:00.000-05:00

I am very lucky in that I have remained close with several of my good friends from Earlham. There are four of us, Allie, Molly, Mahli and me, that have made a special effort to continue to see each other even though we all live in different states. At Mahli's wedding the idea was hatched to have an annual ladies weekend. We had three in a row and the last one was in March of 2009. Then in April of 2009, Damon and I started the adoption process. A few months after that Allie got pregnant and so the 2010 Ladies Weekend was put on hold. Earlier this year both Molly and Mahli got pregnant! Ezra was born in January and then Allie had Miles in April. On November 1st Molly gave birth to Henry and then on Saturday Mahli had Oliver AND Teagan. Mahli upped the ante and had twin boys! The four of us now all have BOYS and they were all born in 2010. It was quite a year for our little group. I am so grateful for each of their friendships. We have stood by each other through some ups and downs and now we are all moms to boys. I think a ladies weekend will be needed now more than ever!

Senior Year at Earlham

At Allie's wedding in November 2007

First Ladies Weekend at Sundara Spa

Second Ladies Weekend at Nemacolin Resort

Third Ladies Weekend in Georgetown

I love you, ladies! Cheers to our boys!!

Sunday Snapshot

2010-12-12T09:29:00.002-05:00

Florida Trip

2010-12-10T12:06:00.006-05:00

Last weekend we went to Florida to celebrate my Grandma Edie's life. She passed away on June 22nd, which was 38 days before the judge in Ethiopia declared Ezra to be our son. I was so grateful that she got to hear news of our referral and see pictures of Ezra. My dad was in Florida with her the day we got the referral call and he told me that she had him put photos of Ezra in every room so she could always see him. I remember talking to her in the spring of last year and she told me that she had "a chat" with her oncologist. She told him that she was, "putting the pressure on him to keep her alive so that she could see her grandchild come home from Ethiopia." Thinking of that comment now makes me smile because it sounds just like her.

My dad's side of the family gathered in Florida this past weekend as she would have turned 87 on December 7th. All of us stayed at the same hotel right on the beach. It was a wonderful getaway and I know my grandma would have loved the idea of all of us together. The trip was also exciting because it was Ezra's first time to see the ocean. The water was too cold to get in but he seemed to enjoy observing it from a distance. Here are some photos from the trip.

The view from our hotel room balcony.

Ezra with his Grandfather.

Damon and Ezra venturing pretty close to the water. As with most things, Ezra seemed very curious.

The original TomKat. So cute.

Ezra chilling on a poolside lounge chair.

At breakfast in the morning with Grandma Kathy. Ezra always has something to say. Do you think my mom is in love with her grandson?

Too bad Ezra was more interested in Damon's button and wasn't looking at the camera.

A beautiful Florida sunset.

I would say Ezra's trip to the beach was a success! We were able to sleep with our balcony door open and you could hear the waves hitting the sand. I even think the fresh air helped Ezra sleep through the night! Unfortunately, the flight home was miserable. It would be fair to say that it was easier flying home from Ethiopia. It's amazing what a difference a few months makes. In August, he was content with sitting on our laps but that is not the case anymore. Ezra did not enjoy being contained or in the same space for a long period of time. He had one of those meltdowns in the airport where you want to crawl under one of the chairs and hide. He was totally out of sorts. (So was I.) Luckily his personality and smile won over most of the people around us so they didn't seem too mad when he decided to scream. I was so glad we got to see all my aunts, uncles and cousins on my dad's side so it was worth the drama filled flight home. I will be crossing my fingers that the flight to Tulsa at Christmas will be easier!

Memory Box

2010-11-30T10:27:00.001-05:00

Most of the memories and milestones of our adoption journey to Ezra are documented on this blog and I am so grateful that we will have this to look back on someday. I hope to at some point have all of the important adoption related posts put into book format for Ezra. However, there are few things I have saved that I want to keep as memories for him. I try not to hold on to a lot of stuff because that isn't usually what matters. I am actually wanting to rid our house in an effort to keep things simple. (a topic for another post) But there are certain things that will be fun to show him and will make it easier to tell him stories about the beginnings of our family of three. I bought a small container to store those items. If I get really motivated I might try and decorate the container but we'll see if that actually happens. I may realize I have other things but at the moment here are a few of the items that are in the box.

1. Photo of Ezra for the plane ride: I printed one of my favorite photos that I had received during the wait and placed it in my book that I was going to read on the plane. I knew the long flight would test my patience and so the plan was that all I would have to do is look at his picture and be reminded that it was all going to be worth it. I did end up having to look at it several times. This is the photo I used as my motivation. He looks so young and tiny.

2. His first outfit: I kept the clothes that he was wearing when we took placement of him on August 15th. I have everything down to the socks he was wearing. The staff at Bejoe washed it for us and since we were there during rainy season it took the whole week for it to dry. I almost forgot it and the lovely Marta from Bejoe reminded me and I am so glad! It isn't the cutest of outfits but that it what he was wearing when we started our family so it will always be meaningful to me.

3. The Blue Link: Do you see the blue link he is chewing on in the above picture? Travis told us that Ezra was pretty upset when he was taking him from the care center and so he just grabbed something to try and distract him. Travis said that Ezra just clutched to that thing the entire drive. In a lot of our photos from that trip Ezra is still holding the blue link. I kept it and for some reason it always makes me teary. He was so scared and that was his one link (literally) to his old home. It just makes me feel sad for him knowing how frightened he must have been.

4. Traditional Outfit from Special Mother: It is a Gladney tradition that when the families go back to the care center for a final visit and coffee ceremony the child's special mother (main caregiver) will dress them in a traditional Ethiopian outfit as a gift. Ezra looked so cute and even though it doesn't really fit anymore we are definitely saving it!

5. His Prescription: I mentioned previously that Ezra had some tummy issues while we were in Ethiopia that were causing some serious troubles for him. The Gladney doctor called in a prescription for us one afternoon and Genet (owner of the Bejoe) and I walked to the pharmacy to get it. I think I brought with me the equivalent of about $50 and it cost $2! I saved the piece of paper from the pharmacy with his prescription and that will for sure be an embarrassing story to tell him later. I would say trying to give him that medication was my first big Mother Fail moment. It was torture for the both of us.

I might put some other important photos in the box as well. I also was thinking that perhaps we could pull out the box every year on Ezra Day (August 15th) and talk about how our family came to be. The items and photos in the box could help facilitate that conversation. My hope is that it will be one of our many future family traditions.

Gift Ideas

2010-11-23T11:05:00.001-05:00

Are you starting to think about gift ideas for the upcoming holiday season? Well, I am here to help. I have two great suggestions for you.

My wonderful friend and fellow adoptive mom, Tamara, designed a necklace for Gladney's On Their Own (OTO) project. The necklaces are made by girls that have aged out of Kechene Children's Home in Addis Ababa. Kechene is one of the orphanages that Damon and I visited while in Ethiopia.

Here is the OTO Mission Statement:

To provide meaningful financial assistance and education programs

to older, unadopted orphaned children served by Gladney Center for Adoption

in Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe and Latin America

to prepare them for a safe, self-sufficient life on their own.

You can pre-order the necklace for $35 and all the proceeds from the necklace benefit the girls from the Kechene Women's Association and the OTO project. I have pre-ordered mine and I can't wait to wear it. Tam points out that because of the open clasp it is very versatile and you could add whatever charm you like. Maybe this necklace would be perfect for your sister, best friend or favorite cousin? Or maybe you are like me and just feel like getting it for yourself. To pre-order: email shop@newyorkdesigner.com and put Kechene in the subject line.

My other great suggestion is Ethiopian Orphan Relief's Gena Giving Project. Gena is Ethiopian Christmas and Ethiopian Orphan Relief (EOR) wants to fill 130 backpacks to send to orphans at two of their partnering orphanages in Ethiopia. Ezra told me that if you were thinking of getting him a Christmas gift then he would prefer that you give to the Gena Giving Project instead. You can either shop on your own and fill a backpack or if you are too busy to shop then for just a $15 donation EOR will fill the backpack. Email Info@ethiopianorphanrelief.com to shop for a specific child or go to the EOR website and donate $15. So you can cross Ezra off your shopping list and make a $15 donation to EOR. Wasn't that easy!

Gena Giving Project - 130 backpacks to children in Ethiopia from Ethiopian Orphan Relief, Inc. on Vimeo.

A Stuffed Friend

2010-11-17T15:40:00.001-05:00

At my baby shower in Tulsa my friend, Valerie, gave Ezra a very special gift. I had a feeling she would craft up something awesome but as usual she blew me away with her talent and thoughtfulness. I put Valerie's creation in Ezra's crib and I think it is one of the main reasons that Ezra will play happily in his crib for an extended time. This morning I went to get Ezra after a nap and this is how I found him.

Did you just die and go to heaven? I did. So sweet. Thank you, Valerie.

Exciting Mail

2010-11-15T08:05:00.000-05:00

We got two exciting packages in the mail last week. Both packages are Christmas related. In the past I haven't done much to decorate our house for Christmas. One of the reasons being it was always just Damon and me and I couldn't work up the motivation to do much. The other big reason was that we always go to Tulsa for Christmas and usually get there a day or two before and then stay several days after. So it just seemed silly to put effort into something we weren't even going to be around to enjoy on the actual holiday. (The secret reason is that I have some lazy tendencies when it comes to stuff like that.) I know this year Ezra will have no clue what is going on and he won't even notice if I put up a few decorations but I haven't been this excited to celebrate a holiday in a long time! The first package was our Christmas cards. I have never thought about Christmas cards pre-Thanksgiving before. Never. I have also not been consistent about sending them every year. They arrived today and I am very pleased with how they turned out. They aren't super fancy but they were a good deal. Busters love discounts. Damon is a big fan of Groupon. There is probably one for your city and there is a new deal each day. We tend to buy the restaurant gift cards as it makes going out to eat more affordable. When we were sitting in the airport waiting to leave for the first trip to Ethiopia, Damon was online and the daily groupon was for one of those photo websites that will make calendars, invitations, Christmas cards, etc. If you spent $25 then you got $100 to spend on that website! Good deal, right!? So we bought it thinking we might want to make a book of Ezra's adoption story or stuff like that. That is still on my to-do list but I was able to use some of the gift card for our Christmas cards. I am still working on thank you notes from my baby showers and I apologize if you haven't received your's yet. Again, working through that to-do list. But now I have to get cracking so I can move on to sending out our Christmas cards.

The second package was our Christmas stockings. We had a gift card for Pottery Barn Kids and just weren't sure to get with it. My mom has my Christmas stocking that I have had since I was little and she still hangs it each year at their home in Tulsa. Damon and I thought it would be fun to have stockings at our house too and Ezra needed one! So we ordered them from PB Kids and I love them!

I know it looks like Ezra's stocking is partially pink but I promise it is red. Sadly, our house does not have a fireplace so the big question is where we will hang them. What do you tell your kids about Santa if you don't have a chimney? Does Santa break in through the basement? That sounds a little creepy. I'll have to think about that one. I suppose I have some time to come up with something. Good thing we go Tulsa for Christmas and Santa can make his deliveries to Ezra through my parents' chimney.

I know it isn't the cards or the stockings that has me excited for the holidays this year but it is what they represent. For me, it is a celebration of our new family. And for that I am so grateful.

A Boy with a Bat

2010-11-11T16:15:00.001-05:00

Dangerously Cute!

Are you Ready?

2010-11-09T14:10:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow evening we will meet with our social worker for our 3 month post placement visit. I cannot believe we have been home for 3 months already. I am not sure what we are going to talk about but I imagine she will ask how our transition has been going. I have to say that I am quite proud of our little family and how far we have come over the past 12 weeks. The hardest time for me so far was the week Damon went back to work. Since we had to go to Ethiopia twice he didn't have a lot of vacation left and was only able to stay at home for one week. I remember sending some pretty desperate texts to him those first few days and just staring out the front window trying to will his car to pull into the driveway. I was just so exhausted. Those first few weeks I didn't have Ezra on any sort of napping or feeding schedule yet either as we were still getting to know each other. It is such a good feeling to have a better sense now of how much food and sleep he needs in a day. That sounds so basic but it has made a huge difference. Ezra is clearly a much happier kid when he is a routine.

The months leading up to bringing Ezra home I had a lot of people ask me, "Are you ready?" Even then it seemed like a silly question because how can you ever truly prepare yourself for motherhood. It isn't like training to run a marathon or studying for the SATs. It is almost impossible to predict how you are going to react to things like getting up several times in the middle of the night or having your baby cry and you don't know why or taking your kid to the ER at 3am (don't worry he's okay). I think in those initial moments of parenthood it is all about survival and there isn't a class you can take or a book you can read that will help. During our third or fourth week home, I remember that I desperately wanted to go to Target. We had been hunkering down at home and I was ready to get out and do something. I remember telling Damon in the evening that Ezra and I were going to run some errands the next day. I think it took me 3 days to actually do it. Ezra was either not napping well or I was trying to time napping and feeding so we would have a window to do stuff like that and it just fell through. There is no doubt that I am total wimp when it comes to my sleep. Ezra has started sleeping through the night, which has been wonderful, but two weeks ago he had a cold so he was not sleeping very well. At midnight I said some not so kind words to Damon, who was just trying to help, because I was just so tired. I am not sure I will ever adjust to interrupted sleep. I think I just need to come to terms with that! I have mentioned before how much the wonderful weather was a total gift to me in the beginning. I give major props to women who become mothers in the winter. The fresh air was good for my peace of mind and I know it was good for Ezra too.

If you are a glass half full type of gal then perhaps the "are you ready" question also applies to the wonderful moments. There are times when I am rocking him to sleep or we are making funny faces at each other and I am just overcome with joy. I will tell you that Damon can make that kid laugh so hard. I will make the same face or the same noise and I'll get a chuckle but when Damon does it then Ezra lets out a full belly laugh. The other night I was in the kitchen and Damon and Ezra were in the living room playing. Damon was making funny noises and I just stood there and smiled as I listened to Ezra laugh. Of course, I have always thought that I married a handsome guy but watching Damon with Ezra puts his good looks at a whole new level. (Yes, I am trying to make up for those not so kind words.)

Damon and I are lucky in that Ezra is a happy baby and he has been very forgiving of all the mistakes we've made so far. I hope that he continues to be so forgiving as I know we will never be perfect. I do my best not to dwell too much in the past but looking back in this way and being able to see our progress is such a wonderful feeling. Hopefully, I will feel the same way at our 6 month visit!

All About Ezra - 9 Months

2010-11-04T11:45:00.000-04:00

Ezra is about 9 and a 1/2 months today. He is learning and doing new things everyday and I don't want to forget any of it. I hope a lot of what I document here Ezra will enjoy looking back on someday.

So here is nine month old Ezra in a nutshell.

The Stats:

At his 9 month check-up Ezra weighed 16.5 lbs and was 26 inches long. That was a 2.5 lb gain and a 2 inch growth in just 5 weeks! He is still small for his age but his doctor said as long as he continues to gain and stays in proportion then she isn't concerned.

His Repertoire of Tricks:

-Clapping

-Waving Hi and Goodbye

-So Big

-Kisses (And by that I mean the open mouthed baby slobber kiss. He hasn't mastered puckering his lips.)

-Giving Pat Pats

When one of my best friends had her son a few years ago, she taught him to pat her on the back every time she said, "Give Mama Pat Pats." I thought it was the sweetest thing so it is no surprise that one of the first things I taught him was to pat me on the back. It makes you melt. He will do it to other people or things now if you ask.

Personality:

My mom is always describing Ezra as incredibly interactive. He will "talk" to you non-stop and his voice takes on decibels you didn't think possible from such a small human. Often he will shake his arms wildly as he tells you a story. It seems something big is always going on his life. Ezra is very much into copy-cat these days. If I bang my hand on the ground then he bangs his hand on the ground. If I make a "he-he" noise then he will do the same thing. He will go several rounds with you. I have found that he points out little motions that I do with my hands or head that I didn't even realize that I do. But then I watch him do something and realize he is copying me. In my incredibly biased opinion, he is a quick study. We just started working on kissing people or things only about a week ago and he now does it regularly. He forces me to be much more social than I usually am. He attracts attention to himself where ever we go by "chatting" with others or just by being cute. He makes friends with other people in line at the store, in a doctor's office waiting room and at the zoo.

Food:

I would say he eats pretty well. He sucks down his bottles and has some solid foods that he will scarf down as well. Ezra loves all fruit. He will eat most veggies but you can tell he isn't as interested. Apples and pears seem to be his current favorites. He still has NO teeth so we've tried some of the finger food but it doesn't really work yet. I have assumed he has been teething for as long as we took placement because the amount of drool is immense. He is wearing a bib in almost every picture I take of him because that is the only way to avoid changing his outfit 5 times a day. I would rather wash 5 bibs a day than 5 outfits a day. Plus he isn't a big fan of getting dressed so it just makes life easier and even with a bib he is pretty darn handsome.

Activities:

Ezra loves books! He will let me read several books in a row to him and doesn't seem to get bored. Often if I am sitting next to him and reading he places his hand on my arm. It is such a small thing but I love it. He seems to prefer books that have flaps that you open. That might be part of his interactive personality. Here are his current faves:

Where's Spot

Whose Knees are These

Where is Baby's Belly Button

Pat the Bunny

So Big (Sesame Street)

My First Book of Sushi

Buckeyes Big Game

The exersaucer is still a favorite activity and he also loves to be outside. I am a little worried as winter is fast approaching. Our walking days are soon to be few and far between. Darn Ohio. He also loves music and will "dance" by moving his body forwards and backwards or shaking his head. He always claps after I sing, "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider. " I guess he is happy for the spider?

Cute Stories:

There is a little spinning frog as part of his exersaucer and yesterday I told him to kiss Mr. Froggie. I wasn't sure he would understand me but he leaned over and kissed him. I almost started to cry it was so cute.

There is a part in the book, Buckeyes Big Game, where a nose guard is described as smelly. Every time I read that I emphasize that part and wave my hand in front of my nose and say, "stinky stinky." He always laughs and even anticipates that page and looks up at me for the stinky stinky. Several weeks ago I was changing his diaper and I said, "stinky stinky" and he started waving his hand in front of his nose and making the same face I do. I almost died. It is one of his favorite things to do and I seriously think he is trying really hard to say stinky. My life would be complete if stinky ends up being his first word.

His Hair:

I cannot believe how fast his hair has started to grow. When we first met him he was 6 months old and he had very little hair. The hair that he had was mostly straight with a few curly tufts.

Here is Ezra at 6 months.

Here is a shot of him I took yesterday.

Holy Hair, right?! He has a similar facial expression in this photo, don't you think?

Since I can't resist here are a few more photos of my sweet, nine month old boy.